Is there anybody that can help me? (Phyciatrists, Counseler, anybody who can help me at all!) *sob*?

Question

I have been experiencing anxiety, and I may have a panic disorder. But I have a few problems:
-I don't want my parents to know.
-I don't know exactly what I have.
-I don't know where it started.
-I don't know when it will end!

Please email me if you can help me through this.

[e-mail]

Or post your ideas on what you think I have. I need help! (NO PARENTS)

NO! I NEED TO TALK IT OUT. NO PARENTS!NO PARENTS! NO PARENTS! NO PARENTS! NO PARENTS! NO PARENTS! NO PARENTS!NO PARENTS! NO PARENTS! NO PARENTS! NO PARENTS! NO PARENTS! NO PARENTS!NO PARENTS! NO PARENTS! NO PARENTS! NO PARENTS! NO PARENTS! NO PARENTS!NO PARENTS! NO PARENTS! NO PARENTS! NO PARENTS! NO PARENTS! NO PARENTS!NO PARENTS! NO PARENTS! NO PARENTS! NO PARENTS! NO PARENTS!

Age: 13
School: Over

I'm having a mental breakdown because I don't know what to do. I am not going to tell my parents until I feel like I can't hide it anymore...so please give me more options. And remember...email!

Answer 1

OK, look, this comes up over and over and over again here that distressed teenagers write questions about how to avoid telling their parents anything about the distress. There are only so many possible explanations for that:

1) Your parents deny the existence of mental illness and/or would blame you for any fear or sadness in your life.

2) Your parents care only about money and would blame you if you need help that would cost their time and money.

3) You fear #1 or #2 is the case, but don't actually know.

4) You wish to spare your parents the anxiety that their child is in pain, either out of love for your parents, a desire that you not feel guilty or both.

5) You are proud. You never tell your parents your troubles because you like looking successful to them and don't want to give that up. Beating your distress basically on your own would be yet another success for you.

6) You hope your distress will magically go away. By telling your parents, it becomes real. One or both of them will be constantly inquiring about it after you do that. You don't want that. You just want the whole thing to disappear. Then you don't have to feel weak, guilty, threatened by the possibility of tomorrow being worse, all these things that make your anxiety even worse than it has to be.

Is your reason different from those? Help me out so I can add to my list.

Now what can you do for each of those? The first two are trouble no matter what you do. As you address, your distress may reach a degree where you can't hide it from your parents. Then they will react as badly as you expect. I agree with you if you wish to postpone that. I think I'd drag my feet trying to tell such people anything myself, and I don't have to live with them.

But is it #3? Many answerers here tend to say that's it, for many other teenagers besides you. I suspect they're often right. Parents can surprise you with how much they love you when you really need them. There's only one way to find out.

#4 could easily be an underestimation of your parents as #3 is. Adults may surprise you by how strong they are in a crisis. They may put aside their habits of telling you what to do so much and whatever else makes them seem like they handle stress poorly and just do what you need them to do, which is take you to see a psychologist or other mental health professional to diagnose and treat your anxiety.

#5 and #6 are different kinds of fantasies, fantasies you'd like to maintain, but can you? Even if you suddenly discover magic words that make your anxiety stop, you're going to run into something else that brings your pride down several notches or changes your life from whenever it was perfect. You might as well learn to manage such challenges now. Guess who can teach you - a mental health professional. Guess who has to be involved, in all likelihood, for you to see that mental health professional - your parents.

So here's one challenge in this for you to meet. Which is better for you, to write a whole page of, "NO PARENTS" and pretend that there's some cure for anxiety coming to you through e-mail or seeing a psychologist, which very likely requires your parents' consent? I don't know the answer to that. I don't know your parents. But I know you can't manage your anxiety without help, especially not if you truly have panic disorder. You can wait and see how much worse it gets. Even a teenager has that much autonomy. How smart that is depends on facts that no one can include in a short summary of the situation. That's why people go sit down and talk with a psychologist, to work out all the relevant circumstances and what to do.

Answer 2

Get to a doctor, nurse, or other primary care health professional immediately! I have been where you are right now, and waited far too long to get help. When I finally found the courage to tell my parents, they did not get me the help I needed. So, unlike many other posters here - I am not going to assume your parents are the best option. They may even be a cause (just throwing it out there) and might try to prevent your revealing it to the proper professionals.
Bottom line - find that professional fast. Someone's suggestion of a walk-in clinic was excellent. You need medication ASAP. Not saying that is necessarily a permanent option, but you need to get through this. Because I can almost guarantee your next phase will be severe depression once the angst subsides. That is far more dangerous than what you are feeling now.
Good luck and God Bless!!

To "Just Q" below -
I respect your experience, but do not do this poor soul a disservice by potentially delaying her seeking a competent professional!! Let's assume the worst here. We won't be harming her, only helping her.

Answer 3

Do you have any walk in clinics near where you live? If so go to them, some are open 24 hrs a day and speak to a doctor or nurse.

I don't know why you don't want to tell your parents, they love you and want to protect you so they really are the best people to speak to but if your adement then try speaking to a doctor they may be able to point you in the direction of someone that can help you through this.

Answer 4

I KNOW THIS ISNT WHAT U WANT, BUT THE BEST thing is tell ur parents, i mean u cant just walk up 2 them and say MOM i need 2 see a doctor without her asking why or Dad i need a therepasit with ou him asking somtething, parents....

Answer 5

Well, you certainly need treatment and or counselling. Well, I am a parent but won't try to tell you what you should do. I am sending you healing energy (good intentions) that you find peace and happiness.

Answer 6

You don't give enough history or symptoms for anyone to help you.
When did this start?
How often does it happen?
Is there something that triggers this?
How long does it last?
Are you already on medication for this?

These are a few things someone would have to know to even begin to know how to answer your question.

Answer 7

Unfortunately, your parents are the only ones who will help you. Don't take advice from people you don't know.

Answer 8

Let's try this first: how old are you? And is there a counselor at your school? Answer these two questions and maybe I can guide you from there (without parents)!!!

I assume you mean that school is over for the summer. And at age 13, there's very little you can do without your parents' consent. So here's what I suggest....whether or not you're religious, talk to a pastor or a rabbi....they can talk to you wihtout your parents being involved and at least you can let some of your feelings out. Sometimes when you talk about what's going on with you out loud, you start to figure out where your problems stem from. You can also do this with a trustred friend, if you're sure she won't tell her parents/your parents. My parents always tell me something that I think is very true.....they say that we are our own best psychiatrists. Now that you have some time off from school, why don't you sit there every once in a while (not obssesivelly) and just think about when your anxiety and panic disorders got started. That's exactly what a psychiatrist would have you do. They don't know the answer; you do. So in the end, you'd be doing the work anyway. So just take a little bit of time everyday and go back through your life and see when it started, what was going on around that time, when you get the attacks most, etc. You can answer a lot of those questions for yourself. Don't worry about when it will end. At age 13, you're going through a tough time in terms of puberty. Your hormones are out of whack, you're starting life as a teenager..it's a lot to handle all of a sudden. Just know that this is a very normal phase of growing up and you will get out of it. When? I don't know. But if it doesn't get better in a long time, then you'll be old enough that you can go to a doctor and get diagnosed and possibly be put on meds without your parents finding out. And once school starts, you can talk to the school counselor about all this...he/she is obligated to tell your parents if you plan on hurting yourself or others, but if it's just about your emotions, he/she can keep it confidential. The other thing that comes to my mind is calling a teen hotline. They are anonymous and the people on the other line are trained to handle calls about issues like yours. They will be about your age and may be able to help you out. At the very least, you will let some of your feelings/problems out and see if it's all just a normal part of growing up or if your issues stand out more. Last note is that first you say you have panic disorder and anxiety, but you're not sure what you have. Why don't you research these symptoms on the internet to see if that's indeed what you're experiencing. One piece of advice though....don't go nuts on the research. A lot of mental and physical problems cause anxiety and panic, so don't think you have every disease in the book if panic and anxiety come up for multiple illnesses. You should be able to sift through what you're experiencing and ignore the more drastic anxiety that comes with more major illnesses. As a last word, I want to say that at 13, what you're probably experiencing is relatively normal. You will have ups and downs and this in no way means that you will have panic attacks for the rest of your life.Sorry...this is the best I could do considering your limited resources. Good luck to you. You'll be just fine.

Answer 9

You have anxiety and become panicked when you think about your parents being involved in your life.

Answer 10

you need your mom and dad