Okay, I have been in love with my friend for about two years and just this week her boyfriend of the same amount of time told her he had been cheating on her, was breaking up with her and moving out of their apartment. I feel sooo bad for her because I know how hurt she is it is eating me up. I would love to just beat the hell out of this guy. But, by the same token, I am truly in love with her. We used to work together and have remained friends afterwards, even though we would go long stretches without seeing each other, so I don't know how deep in the "friend zone" I would be. I just have developed very deep emotions for her. The question is, when could I try to tell her how I feel or try to be more than friends? Obviously right now I am just concerned for her and would never dream of dumping my crap on her, it is just soooooo fresh. But eventually I have to say something. I care about her too much and if I missed my chance it would crush me.
2007-06-10 04:04:18 · 6 answers · asked by jpr 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
WOW, U ARE LUCKY TO HAVE A SECOND CHANCE. DO NOT LET GO BY. TRUE SHE WILL NEED HER SPACE FOR AWHILE. IT IS TOO SOON FOR HER TO THINK OF SOMEONE ELSE ALREADY. JUST KEEP ON BEING HER FRIEND AND STAND BY HER. LET HER KNOW HOW SPECIAL SHE IS TO U AND THAT U WOULD NOT LIKE FOR HER TO FEEL SAD ANYMORE. TAKE HER OUT. SHOW HER U REALLY CARE FOR HER TOO. SHE WILL COME TO REALIZE HOW MUCH U MEAN TO HER AND THEN THAT IS WHEN U TELL HER ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS FOR HER. GOOD LUCK.
2007-06-10 04:15:27 · answer #1 · answered by CONFUSED 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her how sorry you are about the breakup, and you know she's hurting. Ask her if she would be interested in having coffee (or something like that) with you, if she wants to talk.
Since you're already a friend, she might well accept. Then just let her talk. Keep the conversation going with whatever feedback you might have. When it seems like she's talked it out, try to steer the conversation toward lighter stuff and see that she has a good time.
But, dude, it is vitally important that you remain a friend, and I mean a good friend, a close friend, because that is what she desperately needs right now. As friends you can go out, eat out, even make out, but she has to know that she has your support and respect.
It may take awhile for her to get past this, but when she does, she may very well realize that you've been there right beside her all along. That will be the time to tell her how you really feel. Good luck to you.
2007-06-10 04:16:40 · answer #2 · answered by Bill F 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well whatever happens I think you should tell her but I would do it this way. I would write to her (real writing not an email) and tell her that you have always loved her but respected her space and did not want to come in and disrupt her life. Equally you do not want to pressure her into becoming Mr Rebound. So offer her the support love and help she might need in any way but back off and let her know you are there for her, standing by as it were but you are not going to ask her out or anything until she is ready. She will be deeply hurting right now an vulnerable and if you were a cad and abounder you would be all over her. But the danger is that if you do not make it clear to her that you are there for her, she may go to a club or a bar one night and meet just *anyone* other than her cheating ratbag and do something stupid just to get a kind of mental revenge on him. Send her an orchid or some flowers (Oriental lillies to make her place smell lovely) but whatever you do, don't crowd her and dont do nothing because if you lose her you will regret it for the rest of your life as you will constantly ask ""what if I had..."". As a final piece of historic consolation the same thing happend to me a long time ago but she was to hurt to heal - in fact the bas**** did so much damage she is still healing. The long and the short of it is we both ended up married to other people but remain as close as people can be without sex getting into the equation. We still keep in contact and still pick up on each other although we are hundreds of miles away. Don't lose her friendship, remember that. And the best of luck to you.
2007-06-10 04:15:22 · answer #3 · answered by pwwatson8888 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is not time. Just do it when you're ready.
2007-06-10 04:22:43 · answer #4 · answered by Mario Vinny D 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell her right away
2007-06-10 04:10:21 · answer #5 · answered by Luke W 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know.
2007-06-10 04:09:53 · answer #6 · answered by picns 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋