A college friend of mine died suddenly last week of a heart attack. He was a young guy too. I can't believe it. Tonight is his wake and I am sick on the stomach about the whole thing really. I didn't really know his family, but am torn whether I should go or not. I really don't want to see him laid out in a coffin when I remember him as being a happy-go -lucky guy and always fun to hang out with. Serious advice only please.
2007-06-10 03:38:29 · 10 answers · asked by navigate33 3 in Health ➔ Mental Health
I think you should go both for yourself and his family.
Let them know you were his friend and that you'll always remember him and being a happy-to-lucky guy and that you enjoyed his company. You have know idea how much his family will appreciate it and you'll also feel good remembering your past friend.
2007-06-10 03:58:52 · answer #1 · answered by thearizonapenguin 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
death is sad, but I think wakes are suppose to try to cheer people up because they're suppose to be more up lifting of a ceremony compaired to a funeral. There's more to do at wakes than just look at the persons body. I've never been to one but from what I've heard they're more like parties. Possably home videos of your friend when he was alive, people telling stories, music, food. I mean, I know nothing can kill that pain that your friend is gone but wakes are more light hearted and cheery. Atleast you don't have to attend a funeral per say. You don't have to act totally and completely sad and neither will the people there. People who desire wakes are the type of people who would rather they're friends and family be happy in remembering them alive than grieving over they're lost. I recommend you do some research on wakes on the internet. Then maybe you'd know more about what to expect. then you could decide.
2007-06-10 17:28:36 · answer #2 · answered by Melissa Y 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A wake is a celebration of life, you go to celebrate the life that your friend had, No one likes to go to funerals and wakes, everyone there will be feeling the same as you do.
But it's a personal choice that only you can make, everyone deals with death in their own way. What you need to do is decide if you need to say goodbye to your friend to get closure.
Not everyone needs to, but most do so it's a way of showing respect to their friends and loved ones that they have just lost.
A wake is not as bad as a funeral, it is actually much more upbeat, the people that go are going to be all talking about the good things that happened in your friends life and celebrating his life as they send him off to a new life in heaven.
I assume your friend was of Celtic decent, as that is what they do.
A funeral is more to morn the dead thus alot of people crying, a wake is totally different. You may find that going to a wake was a good thing, and it will give you closure and help you deal with your friends death.
Either way, what ever you choose is your call, my condolances on the loss of your friend.
2007-06-10 10:55:48 · answer #3 · answered by unknown friend 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You do not need to go if you don't want to. Don't feel obligated. I have skipped memorial services before because I would rather not see the person laying dead in a coffin. You can always visit his gravesite later, if you would like to pay respects. You could also send his family a sympathy card and tell them something special you remember about your friend.
2007-06-10 11:16:57 · answer #4 · answered by Andee 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should go. You'll need closure, otherwise you may go around for the rest of your life not deeply believing that he is really gone. Sometimes it is painful to see someone you care for and someone you know as being effervescent, just laying there but it is usually best to go and pay your respects and really tell him goodbye. It's okay if you cry. And even though you didn't know his family you should go and support them and show them what he means to you. Hope you're okay.
2007-06-10 10:58:26 · answer #5 · answered by actressinthemaking2005 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Go to the wake, he is your friend, and you never got to say goodbye. This is the time you need to take to pay your respects. It is just his body, but his soul will always be the happy-go-lucky guy you will always remember.
2007-06-10 10:50:12 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ask yourself if it would help you cope to go. If the answer is Yes, then go. There will probably be a lot of other people going who didn't know his family.
To make it easier you could find a person you know who is going and go with them. Going with another person might help as well.
2007-06-10 12:29:48 · answer #7 · answered by Popsicle_1989 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it would be best for you to attend. You will only have one chance to attend this wake. It is important to experience an event such as a wake or a funeral to facilitate closure. I encourage you to attend your friend's wake this evening.
My sympathies for the loss of your friend.
~M~
2007-06-10 10:45:03 · answer #8 · answered by michele 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
first of all im terribly sorry for your loss.
the most important thing to remember if you do go is that
ONLY his body is going into the ground and not his soul or what made him..well him.
hes in a better place.
thats about all i can say.
and well pray about it...you'd be surprised by how much
help you can get.
:]
god bless - maddy
2007-06-10 10:43:47 · answer #9 · answered by Alexa 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Go, you'll never forgive yourself if you don't pay him his last respect. You can still remember the good times, but he deserves this respect.
2007-06-10 10:43:25 · answer #10 · answered by jazsmo18 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋