why do men nowadays seem to take it against women if women expect them to pay all the expenses on their date?

Question

I mean, that's what gentlemen are supposed to do, right? so where did most of the gentlemen go?

just wondering out loud.

Answer 1

Why do we hold it against you? Because it's a silly outdated tradition...based in gender bias. The same type of bias that women have worked for centuries to overcome.

It's what a gentleman is supposed to do, right? No, the man paying for a date has nothing to do w/ being a gentleman. It's about respect...about how he treats you and talks to you.

Where'd the gentleman go? Look, there are still plenty of gentleman left in the world...but, the world (and especially the dating world) have changed dramatically in recent years...and terms like "gentleman" ...and "lady" have changed as well.

If I said it's not "lady-like" to complain...or to work outside the home...would you agree or disagree? How about if I said it's not lady-like to were pants or to go out in public unescorted...or to voice her opinion in front of gentleman? That all sounds crazy now...but at one time, wearing pants, complaining, etc. were considered inappropriate behavior for a lady.

So, would it be fair to ask..."Where did all the ladies go?"

In terms of dating in 2007 and beyond...I think the best rule is...whomever asks for the date should pay for that date in the initial stages of courting.

Answer 2

I think some men may have financial issues thus cant always pay for all the expenses. If the men have such issues, women should be more understanding and volunteer to pay for some too rather than asking the men to burn their pockets...
Of course men must pay for most expenses but if they dont pay ALL doesnt make them ungentlemanly, does it? Its a society now that most women are also financially stable and if you value the relationship,dont be too pushy on who is supposed to pay for the expenses..

Men got their pride in volunteering to pay for all but would you women want your men to spend his every single cent on you?However if he doesnt even want to pay most of the time, I guess he's just making use of you and there isnt a need to carry on with the relationship...

Answer 3

i'm not a sap or romantic or anything. and, god, even i do that. at least the first date or two.

when it's an established relationship, i think you should go 50/50. but taking her out on a first date (when the GUY asks, as is usually the case) and making her pay her part or (god forbid) all of it is obscene. sheesh.

those guys are probably following advice from some idiotic website or "seduction guide" book telling them to be jerks to get laid.

what they dont understand and what i think i do is that most normal women (except for those who have been badly abused or something) don't want *jerks*. they just want guys that are confident and not complete wimps. there's an enormous difference.

am i right?

Answer 4

darling, women spent years campaigning for independence, equal rights and equal pay.

to the turn around and expect men to pay for your every expense is extremely hypocritical.

i can understand that its nice to be treated once in a while, but dont expect it. expect to pay your own way through life, and get used to doing it. be independant.l dont rely on guys to support you. that way, when a guy does buy you dinner, it means so much more =]

i always make sure i can afford to pay my way through a date, and although i rarely have to, i like knowing that i could. i dont resent guys who expect me to pay for myself, after all, i wouldnt particularly like to be expected to pay for them =]

relationships are all about give and take, and money really shouldnt be an issue when your trying to get to know a potential partner. if your that bothered about expenses then go on a free date, or one that doesnt cost much money =] its good fun, i promise =]

one of my favourite dates was when both me and my boyfriend had almost no money between us, and adding up all our spare change we totaled at two pounds. we went to the cheapest supermarket in our town, and walked round seeing how much food we could get for our money =] we ended up with a suprisingly large amount of food and drink, and took it down by the river and had a picnic, watching the sunset.

it was amazing.

as for asking where all the gentlemen have gone, i dont think they've gone anywhere. a gentleman is someone who behaves with respect to women, opening doors and looking out for her generally.

a man who simply foots the bill for everything is rather boring and normally a pig who is only after one thing...

hmm. reminds me somewhat of high class prostitutes =]

Answer 5

Good men are hard to find and you just have to wait for the right ones to come by if it's meant to be. Now some men are just tightwads and carry that machismo lil' boy attitude it's really silly I say that's their prob ditch them.

Answer 6

First date I think most of them are still happy to do it. It's just after a while. It's not fair.

Answer 7

I don't believe they do, all I know is if I have to pay for some or all of the date, them I'm A-OK with it.

Answer 8

It's all that girl power crap.

Hey u wanted to be independent so pay your way now.

Answer 9

if a man asks you out then its his responsibility ti pay ..period not go dutch unless its by previous agreement

Answer 10

I actually fight to pay for stuff with my girlfirend. So you're going out with cheap bastards...