I'm 21, just graduated from college in may, and my b/f proposed. He wants to get married in 6 months. (He's 25 by the way, also finished school a while ago, and just has been waiting for me to finish.)
2007-06-09 22:21:24 · 16 answers · asked by Jstylez 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
That is not bad but if you want to wait awhile until to give it some thought that is better then just rushing in their and getting yourself into something crazy.
2007-06-09 22:24:51 · answer #1 · answered by Dotty D 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends on the maturity of the couple and their intentions, and expectations during the marriage.
Since you say he's proposed, and instead of being overjoyed by it and planning your dream wedding, you're on here looking for loopholes, I'd say it's not the right time for you, or this is not the right guy for you.
He's proposed and he's given you an estimated date, so he's serious about it (if you get a ring without a date, you're being strung along or placated).
You don't say here how long you two have been together.
It comes down to this:
Do you feel so certain about this person that you are willing to make a lifelong committment to them and a relationship with them. I believe you're mature enough to know whether or not you're ready. I think it's natural to have some worries or apprehension at the prospect of getting married, but if it's something you're not absolutely looking forward to with a sense of joy and hope, then I don't think you should go for it.
I'd keep in mind, though, that if you've accepted, and then break the engagement, the relationship is probably over.
At least, if he's a smart guy, it will be... but if he was a smart guy, he probably wouldn't have let things come to the point.
If you are having reservations, it'd be better to talk to him about them sooner rather than later.
2007-06-09 22:36:54 · answer #2 · answered by Osiris Cross 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Now would be a good time. School is complete and your ready for the next stage of your life. 21 is a good age, It's all personal prefferance. if you still feel you want to live your life more then you need to sit down and have a serious talk with him. It is possible for you two to be married and still live life to the fullest. Travele, spend time working, learn new things. then when you get in to your late twentys early 30s. have 2 or 3 kids. I have a number of friends who got married right out of high school and spent the start of thier marrige getting though school. You not too young, If you where just starting school I would say to wait. but have at it. your just fine.
2007-06-09 22:35:00 · answer #3 · answered by gearnofear 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, do you love him? Can you see yourself with him for the rest of your life? Do you want to get married? And most important do you see eye to eye on things like children, parenting, rules, likes, dislikes, etc. I got married at 19, and have been happily married for 4 years now. I have a 3 year old son. I would never take back my decision to get married, but I do wish we had discussed some of these topics, that we didn't really think about. We were young, but not dumb! But it does help to know all the big things in marriage aren't going to be a fight and be a downfall.
If you love him and want to marry him you are definitely old, responsible, and mature enough to know. (Anyway most people are by your age.) If you're not ready I'd just have a totally honest heart-to-heart with your man. It will probably be a blow to his ego and hurt his feelings if you say no, but that's much better than rushing into things and regretting it later. He should understand and if he really, really loves you he'll keep dating you and wait until you are ready. You know? And really who cares what other people think about your age and if your old enough? You are going to be the one who will have to live with this decision, good or bad, happy or sad. But in my own opinion, I think you're old enough to make the right decision. Honesty is the best key. Marriage is supposed to be life long. And honesty is truly the best thing. Good Luck and I hope you make the decision that YOU think is right. :)
2007-06-09 22:43:51 · answer #4 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Traditionally, a proposal should be at least 1 year before the wedding. Sounds a little rushed. Have you lived alone? Ever? For at least a year? Coming right out of college, you should prolly get some footing in the real world [21 is young in that respect] and figure out who you are. If you can answer all those questions with certainty, and feel confident about yourself, then go for it...
2007-06-09 22:27:34 · answer #5 · answered by ydnab 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
These days, I don't think anybody should get married before the age of 30. That is because during your early 20's, you are still uncertain of what you really want in life, and by the time you're in your late 20's you've realized that you are not the same person as you were in your late teens and early 20's. So if you get married before the age of 25, it might not last because you will be a different person five years from that point. Starting 30-ish, you know yourself more. You're more secure and pretty much set in your ways. You're young, you should be out there having the time of your life!! Now is the time!! Travel travel travel!
2007-06-09 22:27:00 · answer #6 · answered by myneighborisanass2 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
If you think he is the right one who you wish to settle down with, then go ahead.
there is no too young to get married, it is just whether you are prepared for it. you got ot ask yourself, is he really the one you wan to be with?
If you are neglecting things you should be doing, forgetting your purpose in life because of the relationship you're in, then you're on the wrong path. A healthy relationship is one in which two people encourage each other to reach their respective goals while sharing each other's hopes and dreams. A relationship should be a source of inspiration, invigoration and hope.
2007-06-09 22:38:53 · answer #7 · answered by AK 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are asking the question, then you are probibally not ready, and therefore too young.
I know i was too young when i got married at 19, and im now 24 and divorced. Guess you gotta learn the hard way though.
2007-06-09 22:25:30 · answer #8 · answered by Paulo 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well 16 is the legal age here to get married without parental consent(scotland) . but i don't know anyone wo has!
my parents got married at 19,and still happy 43 years later!.
it seems to me you feel you are too young,because if you didn't you wouldn't be asking the question?
2007-06-09 22:30:54 · answer #9 · answered by scorpio_queen_2003 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I advice you to wait a little longer .. Does he have a stable financial ? If not , both of you might be in serious financial problems in the future .
2007-06-09 22:25:59 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋