and it's been years. My two brothers gave up trying to make contact, but I'm the one who still always made the phone call at least on his b-day and father's day. The problem is, every time I call, he acts as if it's the big intrustion and he tries to rush me off the phone, he never asks me a single question and everything I ask him he responds with one word answers. He has not called me or my brothers in years. It is hurtful, it was a messy divorce, but that was between him and my mom. The thing is, it's gotten to be almost too painful for me to make those calls because he can be so mean. But I know that if I stop calling him, that's it. I will not talk to him ever again because he will never call me. I was thinking of writing a letter instead this year. What do you think? Should I write, call or let it go? Comments? Anyone been in a similar situation? It's been seriously stressing me out.
2007-06-09 21:19:00 · 17 answers · asked by ready4change 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Send him a card and a lite note. Don't expect any reply. At least you can say you are still trying to have some kind of relationship with him. Must be really hard, sorry.
2007-06-09 21:23:38 · answer #1 · answered by Twisted Maggie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with narasen...you don't have to go out of your way..but keep the contact..if only with a card...as the day will come when he DOES need you. I'm sorry it's been so tough on you, you're right..you had nothing to do with the messy divorce and your dad is a fool for not realizing that..maybe the new wife has the control (which is sad also..but)..Just keep sending messages..one way or the other...the day will come when he figures out YOU'RE the mature one here...and you will have no regrets for not having tried your hardest to keep a connection between you. Good luck sweetie!
2007-06-10 05:54:08 · answer #2 · answered by Rocky 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So sorry to hear this, you should try putting all your feelings down on paper and send it to him, letting him know exactly how you feel a sort of one last try, he is being very immature in this situation as the divorce was not the fault of you or your brothers and it is obvious you are desperate to keep up a relationship with your father. I don't know how he can be so cold and blunt towards you, why not ask him outright if he wants to sever all contact with you, put him on the spot, that way, you can maybe move on with your life, as hurtful as it is, you need to move on and build new relationships. Good luck with whatever happens!!!
2007-06-10 04:27:02 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he thinks your mom is putting you up to calling him. I think you should write a detailed letter on how you truly feel and wait a while so you know he got it. Call him and even ask him if he got it. If he still acts like an ****** then let it go. It's his lose and you're too good for him then.
2007-06-10 04:25:07 · answer #4 · answered by thinkinkat1234 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he has continued to act this way for years, I would just give it up. I know how hard it would be to completely lose contact with your father, but is it really worth the stress in your life?
I am sorry that your father is acting this way; it must be very hurtful for you.
2007-06-10 04:25:32 · answer #5 · answered by Patti C 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like his new wife has him whipped.
She probably urges him to not speak to any of you. If your father lives close enough to you, tell him you would like to invite him and his wife out to eat for fathers day, if he says no, ask him why.
If he says yes, during fathers day dinner, start talking about the good times as a family you've shared and watch the new wife's reactions. If she keeps giving clues with body language that she hates that topic tear into her.
2007-06-10 06:38:05 · answer #6 · answered by Lisaa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Send him a serious letter telling him whats up and tell him you would love to hear from him and include your address and phone number.
You may want to remind him of a past plesant Fathers Day when you were together.
Good luck
2007-06-10 04:25:12 · answer #7 · answered by Nort 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Even though he's your Dad, you have the right to a happy existence. Right a letter and wait...then based on the feedback, you can make the decision of whether or not to continue trying.
2007-06-10 04:24:27 · answer #8 · answered by Chickenfarmer 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well its sad but you can see where he does not want to hear from you. i would stop and go on. yes, its hard to do hes your dad but why does that mean someting to you? he does not want to hear from you and that is what he wants i would leave him alone and forget him. yes the divorce was between he and your mom but hey, hes made it a battle of all of you. so take the hint and not hurt yourself any more.
2007-06-13 22:29:39 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry your dad is treating you like this. Send him a father's day card and get on with your life.
2007-06-10 04:29:17 · answer #10 · answered by historybuff33 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋