I work as a PT nanny for a very wealthy family with two wonderful sons. Last week while my employer asked if I would drive her elderly Uncle to the store and then pick him up after he was done with his shopping. I took the kids with me and we drove down the street. I helped him carry his bags into his condo he insisted I take a small 'tip'.
I refused at first but he insisted and I thanked him. I am a college student, and it helped me put a little extra gas in my tank until payday. A really nice gentleman, very outgoing and fun. We had a nice conversation during the trip, and I left thinking how thoughtful his gesture was, and helpful!
A few days later neice (my employer) was counting out the money for my weekly wage, and told me that she was going to subtract 'x' amount, because her Uncle told her what he did and she told him she did not mind for me to do errands for people. She laughed and said she doesn't know why he feels the need to do that. I was really confused and hurt.
2007-06-09 17:34:25 · 34 answers · asked by Lashenova 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Why did she do that? Was she angry at me for taking a (small, I promise) amount of money from her (well to do) relative? I did not expect the money, but it did help me put gas in my tank, which was close to E.
2007-06-09 17:40:01 · update #1
She did not mind for you to do errands for people? You're her employee, not her servant--She had you drive him. Your carrying his bags was something you did on your own and he rewarded you with a deserved tip.
Your employer was not only wrong, she was crass and tacky. She is wealthy enough to employ you, but unless she's completely clueless (a possibility) she's aware that you aren't in the same socio-economic group. For her to deduct the money was classist and she did it to put you in your place.
She laughed because she was uncomfortable and possibly guilty but you are certainly NOT to blame.
I would suggest you find another position, but I know for a fact that you could be going from smoke to fire because my sister-in-law is a nanny and the stories she's told me makes the Nanny Diaries look like Fun with Dick and Jane.
Good luck, honey. You DID deserve that tip!
2007-06-09 19:01:40 · answer #1 · answered by mrpeachycat 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you are her part time nanny than I assume that your job description includes taking care of her children not her uncle. She was first inappropriate in asking you to do errands for anyone (family or not) without a paid incentive. What you need to do is speak with her and explain that you really didn't mind doing the errand and that he forced the tip onto you but considering it was an extra duty you didn't feel that it was inappropriate to take the money but that you were very hurt that she docked your pay for it. See what she says and if she flips out than find a new job. You didn't deserve that.
2007-06-09 17:47:57 · answer #2 · answered by New England Babe 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You need to let your employer know that a tip is also called a "GRATUITY". A gratuity is a reward of gratitude for a job well done. Ask her if she thinks that a waitress could make it w/out her tips. Granted you may be making more than a waitress but it is not part of your job description to be a nanny to the uncle no matter how nice he is. If you don't take care of this now, it will keep happening until you have no respect left and there will be harsher feelings than if you deal with it now.
2007-06-09 17:45:42 · answer #3 · answered by Rae 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would advise against doing that in the future.
I do the same kind of work and I am not allowed to take money from the clients.
Although many offer, I refuse.
There have many cased where the elderly has given money & then will forget and accuse the person for stealing.
Just keep that in mind. I've worked with many elderly that have Alzheimers & Dementia. They can be VERY forgetful & get confused very easily. Which is why thier so easily taken advantage of.
So, be careful. I understand where your aunt was coming from.
2007-06-09 18:16:01 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Yea that was rude. I bet you are stuck between a rock and hard spot because you probably enjoy taking care of those kids, but you know she was in the wrong. Who knows what else she is going to pull. I say look for another job, best of luck! BTW..i am pretty sure a nanny is a person who takes care of the kids and is not someone who runs errands for other family members
2007-06-09 17:38:50 · answer #5 · answered by carriec 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I won't say that it was rude. That's not really what it was. She felt as though you were saying that she does not pay you enough. This is like back in the day when blacks worked for people and their "employeer" gave them dog meat for food but would throw out real meat because it had stayed in the freezer one day too long but was still good. They wouldn't let the cook take the food home and would check the garbage to see if they had taken it out. Now that's rude and mean.
SHe was trying to be funny and wanted you to say something. If you want/need the job. say nothing but if you don't care if you keep the job or not tell her that she was wrong and that you won't be taking her uncle anywhere else because you are not his nanny and where he had you take him caused you to have to burn your gas.
2007-06-09 20:41:16 · answer #6 · answered by Ms. Fabulous 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
This woman is such a tight *ss with money that if you were to stuff a peice of coal up her, it would turn into a diamond. This woman is taking advantage of you.You are a better person than to put up with her crap. Besides all that it is illegal to reduce your wages all because someone give you a tip. Quit while you are ahead, before she makes this reduction a permanent fixture on your paycheck, and try to get a job through your college. Good luck.
2007-06-10 05:21:32 · answer #7 · answered by Whatever 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it was rude for to loan you out and assume its ok and then esp. since she did not plan on compensating you for gas.when working in that type of setting its best to have very clear boundries and a set of rules these help outline what is appropriate or not.imagine if you and the "mom" have a difference in opinion about child rearing.this is going to lead to lead to alot of resentment i feel in the furture.i would let her know for furtue errand running there is a 5 dollar minium for short trips and after that its like a cab pay by the mile
2007-06-09 17:47:08 · answer #8 · answered by blkmgikwmn 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Not only was she rude, but she was domineering. It was outside her bounds to dock your pay for something that involved someone else outside of her household, relative or not.
I would not say a word to her about it, but I would keep in mind that she obviously thinks you are a general domestic instead of a nanny with specific duties. When the first opportunity arose for me to leave, I would leave, but in the meantime you have to get along with her. Don't make waves since it would be unproductive.
2007-06-09 18:22:30 · answer #9 · answered by Candidus 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your employer is not entitled to reduce your wages just because her uncle gave you a tip after providing him a service. I will assume tips were not addressed in your compensation from your employer. Essentially, since your employer "did not mind for you to do errands for other people", she has allowed you to moonlight to earn additional money.
2007-06-09 17:42:02 · answer #10 · answered by Crossed Sabers 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋