my mother was so drunk tonight that my brother went out after drinking and got in a wreck. hes okay but i got out of the house too and staying at my bf's house(hes not here) and my mother said i could go cause she said i could and she also said i am not going to have money to go to college cause she is going to disenherit me. i do not know what to do i am trying to get a job and i am 2 years away from going to college. can i live with my bf's other? and get A LOAN?
2007-06-09 17:05:34 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
that is horrible i'm sorry about you're mother... My friend has an alcoholic parent and she is in 10th grade. If I were you, college is extremely hard to pay for, and so is a loan. If you are getting a very good-paying job, then that might be a good idea. Otherwise, as impossible as it seems, if you could wait out the two years it would be easier for college. I hope that everything turns out okay.... goodluck
2007-06-09 17:16:34 · answer #1 · answered by Patrick Star 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you’re two years away from college, then you’re obviously a minor. As a minor, Mom gets to decide where you’re allowed to live, as long as it’s a safe and appropriate environment.
I imagine it *could* be that Mom gave ‘permission’ when she was angry, and once she calms down, she will change her mind. Guess what happens in that case? You have to go home. In the event that happens, you (or anyone else) can report Mom’s drinking to CPS. They will investigate and if they feel it’s necessary, they’ll remove you from the home. Then the state will determine where you live. I can promise that won’t be in the same house with Boyfriend, because they would not consider that an appropriate environment.
Even if Mom does allow you remain where you are, there are other things to consider. For example, unless Boyfriend’s Mom has some type of custody (even if it’s only temporary) she will not be able to do things as give permission for school events, consent to your medical care, etc. AND, keep in mind that anyone can report your living situation to CPS (back to the possible ‘inappropriate environment’ issue).
As far as getting a loan…a minor cannot legally enter into a contract, so you cannot get any loans UNTIL you turn 18 and are a legal adult.
I say all this assuming that you live in the U.S, but if you live in another country, then the laws may be different in your country.
EDITED TO ADD THIS:
Since others have mentioned emancipation…
Emancipation has to be granted by a judge. There are many requirements for it and it’s RARELY granted in any state. ONE of the requirements is that you must prove to the court that you can fully support yourself--that means paying for rent, utilities, food, medical care, school supplies, etc--completely on your own, with NO assistance from anyone. So, that doesn’t mean moving in with someone else and depending on them to help you.
2007-06-10 00:29:18 · answer #2 · answered by kp 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it's that bad, I suggest you find someplace else to live. Your bf's house might be okay temporarily but you need something more permanent. Try to think of a relative or family friend that would be helpful. The emotional issues involved in living at your bf's house could cause a lot of problems in the longer run.
I think if you talk to your school counselor you might learn more about your legal options. You can get a job and become emancipated, if necessary.
A lot of people put themselves through college; you can do that if you have to too.
Don't let your family's problems ruin your future. Finish school and take care of yourself.
Good luck.
2007-06-10 00:17:38 · answer #3 · answered by The First Dragon 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are in a difficult situation and sound like you are dealing with it as best you can. As for whether or not you can live with your boyfriend's mother, I'd think that would be up to her. Since you're still in school, you can talk to your counselor and ask for help in getting out of this dangerous situation. I don't know what the laws are in your state, but maybe you can be legally emancipated. Your counselor can help you with that.
As for college, community college is relatively inexpensive, and then maybe you can transfer to a four-year university on a scholarship or loan after that. Alternately, you could do something at the community college that gets you a two-year degree and lets you go to work so that you can support yourself and then you can figure out how to go back to school.
I feel so bad for you in this situation. Know that I am thinking about you and praying for you. Good luck.
2007-06-10 00:13:31 · answer #4 · answered by stoneinthestream 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think u need to calm down and think things through take some time away from all this i know it sounds hard and i am very sorry to here this happening but trust me if u take sometime to think about everything the solution will come. go for a walk in the park or go somewhere quite and think but u have to remember one thing in the end she will always be ur mother. ooh and by the way i im(instant message) u and i guess u forgot me it was about 6-7 hours ago hope u can im talking to people can help to thats what i did when i had a problem.
2007-06-10 00:40:49 · answer #5 · answered by jeffry 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What i would do is try and get your mom to stop drinking cause your mom should be one of your best friends in your teen years even though it might not seem like it all the time but she knows most about you even if you think she don't. She might be having problems that you kids don't know that she is having. Try talking to her when she is sober and tell her that you don't like the way she gets when she starts drinking and ask her if she has problems going on. Maybe if she is she might need help around the house and everything. Just try it okay let me know. *~*Jay Hawkins*~*
2007-06-10 00:17:31 · answer #6 · answered by Janessia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, take a deep breath, and try and calm down.
Now, talk with your boyfriends mother. If she doesn't know the whole situation, explain it to her.
If she says no, go to the consuler or principal at your school and tell them you want a foster home.
They should help you. I remember when I was your age, (four years ago) I told the people at my school and they made things easier. Talked to my mother, and she's seeing a shrink and things are better now.
2007-06-10 01:11:25 · answer #7 · answered by scribbler16 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u can choose to live with anotha family member or a foster home. or his family if she said u can.
2007-06-10 00:10:20 · answer #8 · answered by devil_queen_biatch14 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋