i wanted time to stop after he died so that i wouldn't have to spend one second without him. but, time has been fairly defiant. father's day is still coming. i feel like i can't survive it. what the hell can i do to endure that day? please, i really need some advice.
2007-06-09 16:36:49 · 25 answers · asked by starhopper 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Could you think of something special that you can do to honor your dad that day. Like do something nice for your mom(i did this once), or plant something he would appreciate on his grave.
If these are too much too soon perhaps thinking of another person that day would be better or easier. Is there someone else you can honor that day? A brother in law? Uncle? Boss?
2007-06-09 16:43:10 · answer #1 · answered by Makemeaspark 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I don't know how old you are and it doesn't really matter that much because it hurts everyone when they lose someone they love no matter how old they are.
This happens to everyone and the only thing that helps is the passing of time.
I don't know if you are very religious or maybe just somewhat but the bible does say we will see everyone again in heaven when we die if we believe in Jesus.
Talk to other family members if you can and just try to remember all the good times you had with your father even though you may not have had as many years with him as you should have.
Also tell yourself that he would want you to go on with your life and for you to do the best you can with your life.
You are going to feel the pain of his loss every day and not just on fathers day but your pain will ease as time goes by.
Maybe you can get some grief counselling through a church or your work place if you are working.
Try and stay active by doing things with your friends to take your mind off losing your father
I know you are hurting but it will get better.
Good luck and you have my sympathy because I do know how sad you are feeling.
2007-06-10 00:00:36 · answer #2 · answered by laredokid22 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You miss your dad. You must have loved him very much. Time is not defiant, it is time and time goes on, with us or without us in it.
You will survive this Father's Day and the next. Hopefully you are a father or you will be some day and Father's Day will mean something different than it does this year. You have that to look forward to.
I had a father once. My father is dead too. My regret was not that he wasn't here the year he died on Father's Day. My regret was that he didn't die the day I was born. My father was abusive in many very sick ways. He was unfit and not a human. He was a waste of flesh on a human skeleton. I, too, dreaded Father's Day because it reminded me of him.
Thank God very day for the wonderful father you had and the good memories you will have forever. Death can't take that away. Go to his grave on Father's Day and Thank him for being your dad. I can't do that.
2007-06-09 23:48:07 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all, ignore the first rude, tasteless comment from the first person that responded. Know that there are many of us that lost fathers and it is most devastating, my heart goes out to you. You miss them no matter what holiday comes around, but in particular, Father's Day, a day you honor your father. Do you have a god father, or favorite uncle you can spend the day with? If not, rely on your closest friends and do something with them that you both would enjoy, trying to keep your mind busy, not thinking as much on your loss. Just remember the good times you had with dad, and know he is at peace.
2007-06-09 23:47:05 · answer #4 · answered by Nancy S 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I can relate to how you feel. I lost my dad when I was 21. He wouldn't have wanted you to dwell on what you lost, but remember and cherish what you had. Don't feel guilty because you are here and he isn't. He chose to have you with the intent of having a good life. Love him, and love yourself by making the best of it. I found when I had children, it changed how I felt about fathers day, because now it had a good purpose, and meaning again. You will get through this, and every other fathers day.
I still miss my dad often. He's been gone 14 years.
2007-06-09 23:42:52 · answer #5 · answered by Proud Mama of 4 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I can fully understand how you feel. My dad died two years ago and we were really close. I took care of him for the last 8 yrs of his life. He and I talked one day when i 1st starting taking care of him and death come up. He told me that when it was his time to go, to move on in my life, to remember the good times and to always know that he is still a part of me and my life. It is hard to start with and you may cry at some things you think of, but that is fine too. Think of how your dad would like to see you right now. I lost my mom, my step dad, my very best friend and my real dad all in less than 2 years. It is hard at times like when there is something you really want to share with him but you can still share it.......( I talk to my dad when I have something I wished he could hear or see and tell him all about it) Heck I do that with all my past loved ones. It does get a littel easier when time goes by but remember as long as you are living your dad is also ( in you).
2007-06-10 01:17:15 · answer #6 · answered by ncconfusedgal 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can spend the day with him still. In your heart, with the memories that you will always hold dear to you. Your dad is only dead if you allow him to be. He can be very alive in your heart, if you allow him to be.
You can for starters, go visit him at the cemetary and bring him flowers and say a prayer that he will be your guardian angel to protect and watch out for you.
I have a hard time giving advice to someone that lost their parents because I have never lost anyone close to me. But, I will tell you this just from love I have for my children. Your dad wouldn't want you to be upset and sad. I am sure he wants you to remember him in a loving way. Laugh at the silly things you guys did when you were a child and a adult.
I do wish you well and I hope you will find peace just as your dad has.
2007-06-09 23:44:35 · answer #7 · answered by SDC 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do you have Uncles or brothers that you can spend the day with? Try honoring your father's life with a BBQ in his honor, spend time talking about all of the good things he did with his life. Remember not to remember him dying but living richly and lovingly. If that doesn't work how about going to a retirement home where some of those father's no longer have sons, for whatever reason. You might just give someone hope simply by walking in and saying HAppy Father's Day to someone you don't know. Good Luck my friend and remember that your Eternal Fathe ris always there for you. Give your pain to HIM.
2007-06-09 23:44:03 · answer #8 · answered by Rae 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I've been there and it's hard. Really hard, especially the first time around each of the holidays.
Spend time remembering him fondly. Talk to him as if he were there, and tell him all the things you wish you'd said while he was here. Have a special meal; set an empty place for him. And don't be afraid to "cry it out."
Strength and peace to you. It gets easier. Just remember, no one is ever truly gone who is still loved and honored by their children. You ARE your father in this world . . . let your deeds be ones of which he would be proud.
2007-06-09 23:44:48 · answer #9 · answered by Boar's Heart 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Instead of mourning his loss...celebrate his life. Go somewhere where the two of you spent some good times...do the same thing if you can...Remember all the good times...the laughs...the advice...even the arguments. As long as you have those, you are never without him. Talk to others about how great a dad he was. Think about what kind of person he helped you to grow in to.
My dad is gone too....and I wish I could say that I miss him...but alas...he was not like your dad apparently. I envy you your memories.
God Bless.
2007-06-09 23:47:07 · answer #10 · answered by Poohcat1 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋