2007-06-09 15:16:09 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
If you love him, and feel that you want to spend the rest of your life together, then stay together. But also no you dont need a 'father' if your family is willing to support you.
2007-06-09 15:20:35 · answer #1 · answered by spawn1968 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What your baby needs is a mother that makes the best choices she can. It is your job to be the best mother you can - that includes weighing whether this man will provide for you and this baby, in all areas: financial, emotional, stability and will he prove to have staying power and become a good father to your child?
Clear your mind of what you want him to be and be objective. I am not suggesting that you make the choice that your parents want you to make; but, why don't they like him? Is it because he doesn't show evidence of the traits that good husbands and fathers exhibit? If that is the case you really can't blame them - you will have the same objections someday. Maybe they are over reacting to your pregnancy - who is supporting you right now? Could that be why they object? How old are you? How old is he?
As hard as it sounds try to put your current romantic attachment aside for a bit and realize that unless this man will be a good husband and father he will NOT be what your baby needs.
Part of what women who stay in abusive relationships believe is that they need that mate. What many fail to understand is that their children suffer immensley by being in these bad relationships with their mothers. I am not suggesting that your baby's father is a bad person; however, 14 years ago my daughter was 17 and pregnant. The father had been in trouble with the law, dropped out of school, had no job. We finally agreed to let them get married. He wound up beating her badly - she almost lost the baby at seven months. She later divorced him. He is a dead-beat dad. He is over $30,000 behind in child support and does not hold down a job. He moves around a lot to prevent being caught.
My granddaughter has only seen him a few times in her life and he has told her many lies. He has successfully convinced her that her mother has lied and he is the victim. She is now 13 and very upset that she can't live with dad who has let her drink, smoke, do drugs and date men up to age 28.
Yes, a two parent home is ideal; but, only if both parents are ideal. If daddy steps up to the plate and takes responsibility for supporting you and the baby in every way there will be time in the future to make your relationship permanent.
God bless you and your child.
2007-06-13 14:36:47 · answer #2 · answered by marshfield_meme 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know what... your baby needs a father more than it needs grandparents. Trust me, your parents will not disown you. If the father of your baby wants to be a part of the baby's life then you should feel grateful. My best friend just had a daughter with a man she was not in a relationship with. He wanted so bad to be a part of the baby's life, and my friend just kept pushing him away. He died in a car accident over Memorial Day weekend, and my best friend is TORN apart. She feels like he deserved that chance to be a father. You may be carrying the baby, but it is as much his child as it is yours. Plus, a baby is so expensive, and are your parents going to pay for your child forever and ever the way a father would???? If you need more advice, you can write me anytime.
soon2havedom@yahoo.com
Sarah
2007-06-09 15:22:16 · answer #3 · answered by Future Chef 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What do you mean what do you do. How old are you first off?? And second off it's your baby and it's your boyfriend's baby. It's not your parents baby so if they don't like it too bad they can't change who the dad is. And if you love him and want to be with him there is nothing anyone can do to stop you too. And yes your baby does need a father the same way you need your father. So tell them to deal with it.
2007-06-09 19:08:45 · answer #4 · answered by cisnerosjazmin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you have means to support yourself? If not, the logical answer is to stay with the person/people who will be able to provide your child its needs and the best environment.
But really, it is your choice, no matter what anyone tells you. If your parents still support you, they wouldn't be making such a big deal. :) A lot of people would say that a child needs two parents, but many kids do okay without. If you can see a future with this guy, then go for it. Being in a stormy relationship isn't a good way to raise a child. I wish you the best of luck, babes.
Lates.
2007-06-09 15:30:59 · answer #5 · answered by Bri D. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to say this, but your parents are going to have to get over this. I'm sure down the road your baby is going to need a male figure in his/hers life. So i think that you should keep an relationship with your baby's father.
2007-06-09 15:20:50 · answer #6 · answered by kamaria_gotrhythm 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Give your parents some time, they will come around, everyone does after they see the baby. Yes, your baby needs a father. Fatherless children always grow up deprived of something or the other. good luck
2007-06-09 15:20:44 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
if he's good to you and really cares about you and loves you dont mean any harm to you, then talk to you parents about how you feel... when i was younger i made the decision to to date this gentleman, all my friends, cousins siblings and parents told me he was no good, noone liked him but i defended him and stayed with him for 6yrs to only findout they were right. sometimes it takes another person or a few people to help you open your eyes in a relationship, sometimes they see things that you dont see or refuse to see.. i was in such denial and thought i loved him.. but it turned out he wasnt any good...parents always want the best for their child... if he isnt doing any harm to you than speak to ur folks and ask why they feel the way they do and make a decision based on your emotions and their input... your child can survive with just having a mommy and lots of love...dont stay with him because you think you HAVE to or because of the baby, staying with him for the wrong reasons will only cause problems.. he can still be in the baby's life but he doesnt have to be ur man
2007-06-09 15:24:23 · answer #8 · answered by finallyamommy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i had the same problem if you love him stay with him, they will just have to get over themselves. my parents did now we all get along well it takes time it took me 3 babies later for them to get used to it they new i was going to stay with him and we have a family of our own and they cant take the father of there grandchildren away from them no matter what they do
2007-06-09 17:18:07 · answer #9 · answered by mama 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
umm....depending on your age i think you should of course tell your parents no matter what.if you really love him your parents should understand but if you dont its okay we all mess up.there are many woman who are very success full and dont have a husband but have kids and have no contact with there fathers. but try to keep a hold of him even if you dont liek him anymore cuz you feel that your baby needs a daddy
2007-06-09 15:29:50 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋