When people ask "how are you" do they really want to know?

Question

I usually say Im fine but even when Im not then I wonder do they really want to know. I think oneday Im just going to spill my guts to a total stranger when they ask to see how they react.

Answer 1

Unless it's someone you know really well, and they know you've been through some troubled times, they don't really want to know. It's only a polite greeting. Try to restrain yourself!

Answer 2

No.

Unless it's someone who knows you well, and maybe not even then. I have friends who say "how are you?" and when I start to answer, you swear I'd just started talking out of nowhere.

I went to a university where everyone asks "how are you?" because that's the thing to do...but everyone asked it as they were walking right on by...not even pausing for a second - so what do they expect you to say other than "fine"?

It's the same as saying hi these days. it doesn't mean much. I try not to ask it, unless I can stop and talk to someone. If I can't I let a "hi" suffice.

I must admit, I wish I was outgoing. Sometimes you see people who really look like they need to be asked "how are you?" I would listen to...talking to a stranger is just the hard part.

Answer 3

If the person asking is a close friend, a family member or a co-worker with whom you're on very good terms, they usually do want to know how you are and would probably appreciate the honesty of you spilling your guts to them.

If it's the person ringing you up at a store, they don't really care. They're required to say something to that effect. Just reply, "Not too bad. Yourself?" Do you really care about the reply the cashier gives you? Probably not. It's just polite motions everyone goes through.

Answer 4

Confessions of a Conversationalist

OK so if anyone at any point of a conversation asks "how are you" it can have different meanings. For instance if its in the beginning it usually asking whats up, it usually is a conversation starter. pass by a person and u ask "how are you" its like sayin hi, whats up, yo, just with a little flair.

In the middle of a conversation asking ''how are you" could be a way of ending a silence or the beginning of a long silence. and or could be a way of getting more information about yourself or about a particular issue.

Lastly it could be a way of ending or a method of ending a conversation. But all in all how the question "how are you" is variable to the person who asks u. If its a relative they genuinely want to know how u are, but the acquaintance uses this as a way to make or break conversation.

Answer 5

I never ask anyone, "How are you?" unless I really care to listen for at least a minute. You can learn a lot through sincere attention to another person, even if it is brief. Some good experiences and lessons can come from it.

If I want to just be polite or cordial I simply say "hi" or make another inoccuous comment or compliment to the person.

And...when others ask me "How are you?" if I'm in the mood to share, I will. Sometimes maybe people think I'm manic...but that might, in fact, be true! hahaha.

Answer 6

Guilty as charged. I always say how's it going, which has unfortunatly put me in situations where random strangers start spilling their guts to me. Especially if I am in a bar or airplane or something like that. Not that I care how crappy their life is, but I guess that me just listening to them is some sort of catharic release that can help them. So maybe I do care but in a very aroggant and uncaring sort of way.

Answer 7

It depends on who asks. Usually, no. If it is a friend or family member, they do want to know. Sometimes a coworker might really want to know. Most people just say it as a learned reflex to greeting someone.

Answer 8

In today's world...its more of a conversational thing......not that they are interested in your answer. And if you do spill your guts....be prepared for the dudes in the little white coats and the nice rubber jacket

Answer 9

"How are you?" is not a sincere question on your well being, it is merely a social gesture. They merely want you to know that they are acknowledging you and want to know that you'd acknowledge them back. To tell them that you are depressed, have terminal cancer or are thinking of going on a murderous rampage (or similar things) would be deemed as rude as this would create an awkward situation for them. As everyone knows, noone likes those sorts of situations and being put in one is highly rude and unacceptable.

So no they don't want to know at all.

Answer 10

They don't want to hear it. They don't have time for it. "Hello, How are You?" is a figure of speech. Its shortened version is "Howdy!" You're supposed to say "Fine, Thank You," then you can both go about your business. If you start telling them how you are, they will begin backing up and then they'll say, "Well, nice seeing you!" which is another figure of speech and they won't mean that, either.

Answer 11

it depends on how close you are to the person. usually when people ask you that it is only a kind of greeting and people are just trying to be nice, but they don't really want to hear about anything unpleasant. but you can experience with that and see how different people react to your different resonances.