5 yr old daughter has temper tantrums.?

Question

my daughters tantrums are worse at night i cannot get her to bed until at least 11pm,she just comes down the stairs over and over and it has got to the brink of me actually sitting in the bathroom crying,,please any suggestions would really help.thanking you.

Answer 1

Carol I totally sympathise so what I'm going to do is give you the best piece of advise I have.

Like my son I believe your daughter needs a strict routine. She needs to be aware that there a time for doing things and thats the end of it. Do not enter into a debate with her about why she should do something just tell her once "this is what we are doing" and then do it. She has more tantrums at bedtime because she is tired not because she is being bad.

Try giving her a warm bath right before bed. Towel her dry and then have her lie down. Get some lavender moisturiser and massage her shoulders, arms, upper torso, back, legs and feet. Make sure you take your time with the massage. She will love the physical connection with you. The massage will calm her body and the lavender will calm her mind making sure she has a good nights sleep.

Please try this as it has never failed for my son.

Remember there are no perfect parents and you are doing the best you can. Do not feel guilty for being strict and try not to threaten punishment that you are not willing to go through with. She will come to respect your no nonsense attitude.

Good Luck!!!!

Answer 2

i have twin 5 year old boys, i have also reased 2 kids passed that age.


best thing to do? ignor it!

when she has a tantrum ignor it, when she comes down stairs from bed, dont say a word, just pick her up, put her back into bed and just say "good night", dont say anything else, then just leave, maybe blow a kiss as you do.

everytime she comes down, do it, just do not give her the attention, thats the only reason she does it. keep doing it.

it will take time, it will take many weeks but it will work, my boys used to do it at 3 or 4 years old, but after a few months they stopped because i did this.

Answer 3

I don't have a 5 year old..but you think that's bad?! I babysit a 5 year old and if she doesn't get her way or she hasn't had enough sleep she PINCHES, BITES, SCRATCHES (she left a mark on her mom for a week) and jumps on people until they almost come to tears. Just last night (I'm not making this up!!) she had a new babysitter b.c. I worked an 8 1/2 hour day so her mom had a 16 yr old girl come over and watch her for 4 hours while she went to a wedding rehearsal..well, guess what? The girl called after two hours, she couldn't handle her. Anyways, I use to be the same way. I would cry and come see my mom in the living room at night. She use to read me a story over and over again until I fell asleep, AND she use to scratch my arm (tickle almost) and my back to relax me. It sounds weird, but its VERY soothing. You could also lay in bed WITH HER until she falls asleep. I have done this with the 5 yr old girl I babysit as well, it takes about an hour but it does work.

I wish you good luck! :o)

Answer 4

Do everything as usual with teeth brushing, story reading, back scratching, all of that. Then just as usual, leave the room. If she gets out and comes down the stairs tell her its time to go to bed. Don't give her attention, because that's what she wants. Every time she gets out, pick her up, or hold her hand and bring her back to bed without saying a word. Patience is the key.
When it gets to be you're bed time, go about as normal: lock the doors, turn off tv's, computers and lights. If she is following you, take her by the hand and bring her to her room. Make sure that all lights and "fun things" like tv shows and toys are off, and put away. Get ready for bed and go to sleep. It may sound cruel to do this, but, if she does want to stay up, she can. But if she does, she will have to walk into the dark, take out all her toys, and she'll be sitting alone. Most kids don't like playing alone in the dark, eventually she will learn that nights are boring alone.
Goodluck!!

Answer 5

Try the 'pop in' method -- it will take time and patience, but I believe it works....you're probably at the point now where you'll try anything!

1. Follow the same bedtime routine each night - bathe, clothed, drink, toilet, teeth, story, kiss, lights out...(whatever you do)
2. "Good night, I'll be back to check on you in a few seconds"
3. Stand outside the door out of sight for 10 seconds (or 5 seconds if need be..)
4. If child has gotten out of bed-put them back in, kiss on the head, say good night and "I'll be back to check on you in a little while".
5. "pop in" after 10 seconds and quietly say "Just checking on you, I'll be back in a little while".
6. Very gradually increase the time by 2 or 5 second lots with the same (or similar) message.

Now, if you can't even get out the door before a tantrum starts, then I suggest staying in the room but don't look at the child, don't interact with them, then after a few seconds, tuck them back in, kiss on the head and sit back down. You can gradually distance yourself from the bed each time you return from tucking them in.

You might have to do this every night for a few nights, or every night for a few weeks. Either way, it's worth training your child to stay in bed now than having a child who gets into the HABIT of staying up and frustrating her parents.

Don't do the rewards and punishments, they're not appropriate for teaching a child to go to sleep.

If you give it a go you haven't lost anything.

Good luck.

Answer 6

Ignore temper tantrums. Your daughter is either punishing you or just trying to get her way.

On the psychology side, make sure there isn't something that is scaring her in her room (monsters under the bed or in the closet).

Barring all that, sounds like someone needs a good spanking.

Answer 7

Look at the behavior during the day. How much sugar, caffinee, etc? How much TV and video games? Try to slow your child down by 5pm. Wake your child up early so she sleeps sooner. Most of the time it's diet or activity, or the lack thereof. If behavior is in check then you must be firm with your child and not allow her to come down the stairs.

Answer 8

I don't understand this whole thing with putting small children in a room all alone at night and expecting them to fall asleep. I know it works for some, but I think it is kind of cruel. Children have such vivid imaginations and do believe in monsters etc.

I always read to my daughter, rub her back and sing her a lullaby until she falls asleep. Sometimes it takes a few minutes; sometimes an hour, but she is a very happy, energetic (hand full), and well mannered kid, who does not throw tantrums.

If you have been doing this and it is not working, try warm milk. It has tryptophan in it which helps induce sleep. Good Luck.

Answer 9

Half these answers are BS. I have a 3 yr old niece and shes been sleeping by herself in her big girl room for 2 years now. My nephew will be 2 in October and hes been sleeping by himself, for over a year now. Its not cause the kid thinks monsters are getting him. They have a schedule, bath, book, and pray time. If my niece even acts up her mommy doesnt put up with it. She asks if she wants her tapes taken away, what she cherishes most, and she says no and gos bacjk to bed,.They are testing the limits, no staying in the bedroom, if u start that u will do it till there 10. Do what ever u need to do before bed, hugs kisses, say u love her and put on nighlight and shut the door, if they perfer open, just a crack. You are the parent, she is the kid, She is testing the limits and as long as she is getting u were she wants you(crying in bathroom) she will continue to do so. You are mom, she is kid, not the other way around. So be mom, and put your foot down.

Answer 10

tantrums generally have something to do with attention. I suggest, that before bed time you make some time to see that she's bathed. It relaxes them, carry on a conversation with her. Maybe read her a story, or play something quietly with her, then put her to bed and tell her she needs to go to sleep. And that you need to have some quiet time.