Sometimes we all need a good laugh. Peace to all and good night.
2007-06-09 13:29:34 · 11 answers · asked by Debra M. Wishing Peace To All 7 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
would you settle for a funny answer?
: just wondering
Can you cry under water?
How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?
Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
What disease did cured ham actually have?
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?
If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.
Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?
Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ?
If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
2007-06-09 13:33:40 · answer #1 · answered by Hannah's Grandpa 7 · 11⤊ 0⤋
Dog letters to god
Dear God, How come people love to smell flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another? Where are their damn priorities?
Dear God, When we get to Heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it the same old story?
Dear God, Excuse me, but why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not one named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We dogs love a nice ride! I know every breed cannot have its own model, but it would be easy to rename the Chrysler Eagle the Chrysler Beagle!
Dear God, If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, does he still get whacked with a newspaper?
Dear God, Is it true that in Heaven, dining room tables have on ramps?
Dear God, If we come back as humans, does that mean we were good dogs, or bad dogs?
Dear God, More meatballs, less spaghetti.
Dear God, When we get to the Pearly Gates, do we have to do that stupid shake hands trick to get in?
Dear God, Are there dogs on other planets or are we alone? I have been howling at the moon and stars for a long time, but all I ever hear is the horny beagle across the street.
Dear God, Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize to them?
Dear God, Is it true that dogs are not allowed in restaurants because we can't make up our minds what NOT to order? Or is it the accident on the carpet thing, again?
Dear God, May I have my balls back? Please?
Sorry about the last one but, it is still cute.. :)
Edit: If you can put one man on the moon, why not put all of them there? HA
2007-06-09 20:39:20 · answer #2 · answered by SDC 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Exercise for Older Adults:
Begin by standing on a comfortable surface, where you have plenty of room at each side. With a 5-lb potato sack in each hand, extend Your arms straight out from your sides and hold them there as long as you can. Try to reach a full minute, and then relax. Each day, you'll find that you can hold this position for just a bit longer.
After a couple of weeks, move up to 10-lb potato sacks. Then try 50-lb
potato sacks and then eventually try to get to where you can lift a 100-lb
potato sack in each hand and hold your arm straight for more than a full
minute. (I'm at this level)
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After you feel confident at that level, put a potato in each of the sacks.
Peace.
2007-06-09 23:57:25 · answer #3 · answered by Depoetic 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Evil man-eating psychotics have hacked into the yahoo mainframe and deleted all funny questions in an attempt to mind control everyone and take over the world. I do warn you not to post anything funny I hear the penalty is pretty severe. I think you are forced to listen to rap (animal music) for 36 straight hours.
2007-06-09 20:34:43 · answer #4 · answered by BA 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
There was a young man from Boston who a church called to replace their old pastor who was at the end of his ability to ministry to the church. He came out and tried real hard to fit in. Everyone teased him about being a dude.. In his efforts the people of the church fell in love with him. They gave him a horse. He couldn't ride at first but learned fast. He even taught the horse tricks. He taught it to run at a full gallop when he called "Praise the Lord" and come to a full stop when he called out "Amen". The people love to see him out doing his calling while on his horse so he often did. On one of his outing the horse started running faster and faster and the pastor could see the edge of a cliff coming up.. He did everything he could do to get the horse to stop "Stop, whoa," then the panic left his mind and he remembered "Amen" he shouted and the horse skidded to a stop at the edge. Relieved he lifted his eyes to heaven and said "Praise the Lord"... Jim
2007-06-09 20:43:03 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have a less-offensive-than-usual Jesus joke -
So Jesus has just gotten back up to heaven and he decides to look for his Father, to finally meet Him.
He goes all around, looking for Him, and He stops and asks Gabriel "Hey, have you seen my Father?" and Gabriel says, "No, I have seen Him in a while."
He runs into John the Baptist and says "Hey, John, have you seen my Father? I can't find Him." and John says "No, Jesus, I haven't seen Him around lately."
He is just about to give up when he sees an old man walking around, asking people if they had seen his son. Jesus gets really excited as the man approaches him, and he says "Excuse me, my boy, but have you seen my son? He will stand out, he has holes in his hands and feet from nails." and Jesus yells with joy "Father!" and the old man embraces him and yells with joy "Pinocchio!"
2007-06-09 20:38:35 · answer #6 · answered by Jeannie C 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Okay have a good night.
2007-06-09 20:40:35 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
take care and have a good night Debra
love to you xxxx
2007-06-09 20:32:08 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Didn't you see my last one ?
2007-06-09 20:35:27 · answer #9 · answered by Madmax 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Agree. I'm preparing one.
2007-06-09 20:32:04 · answer #10 · answered by Lost. at. Sea. 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋