What's the funniest joke you know?

Answer 1

Well, Kenny the rooster costs a lot of money, but the farmer decides he'd be worth it. So, he buys Kenny.

The farmer takes Kenny home and sets him down in the barnyard, first, giving the rooster a pep talk.

I want you to pace yourself now. You've got a lot of chickens to service here, and you cost me a lot of money. Consequently, I'll need you to do a good job. So, take your time and have some fun," the farmer said, with a chuckle.

Kenny seemed to understand, so the farmer pointed toward the Hen house and Kenny took off like a shot. WHAM!- Kenny nails every hen in the hen house- three or four times, and the farmer is really shocked. After that the farmer hears a commotion in the duck pen, sure enough, Kenny is in there.
Later, the farmer sees Kenny after a flock of geese, down by the lake. Once again - WHAM! He gets all the geese.

By sunset he sees Kenny out in the fields chasing quail and pheasants. The farmer is distraught and worried that his expensive rooster won't even last 24 hours. Sure enough, the farmer goes to bed and wakes up the next day, to find Kenny on his back, stone cold in the middle of the yard. vultures are circling overhead.

The farmer, saddened by the loss of such a colorful and expensive animal, shakes his head and says, "Oh, Kenny, I told you to pace yourself. I tried to get you to slow down, now look what you've done to yourself."
Kenny opens one eye, nods toward the vultures circling in the sky and says, "Shhh, they're getting closer".

Answer 2

First of all, I put the duck & grapes joke out here months ago......anyway, here goes..............A little boy is at the zoo with his father looking at the elephants, The little boy says to his father, "Daddy, What's the thing hanging down there?" The father answers, "That's the elephant's trunk." The little boy says, "No, Dad. In the back. What's that thing hanging down there?" The father says, "That's the elephant's tail." The little boy says, "Come on, Dad! You know what I mean! What's the thing hanging down there?" The father says, "OK, son. That's the elephant's PeNis." The little boy asks, "How come when I was here with Mommy last week, she said it was nothing?" He said, "Son, Your mother's spoiled!"

Answer 3

Existence

Answer 4

a duck walks in to a bar sits on the stool and says "hey barkeep got any grapes? the barkeep says "no i have beer and wine but no grapes" the next day the duck went to the same bar and ask the same question. the barkeep said "no i have peanuts and trail-mix but no grapes." the duck left and came back the next day ask the same thing the barkeep yelled "listen for 3 days i told you no so if you come in here again i am going to get a hammer and a nail and nail your beak to the bar stool" the next day the same duck came in to the same bar and said "barkeep got a hammer" no says the barkeep the duck said "got a nail?" no said the barkeep "got any grapes"

Answer 5

Michael Jackson and a friend telling a joke:

Michael: What is so great about having sex with 27 year olds?

Friend: What?

Michael: There's 20 of them.

Answer 6

question:how do u know when michael jackson is having a party?
answer:when there is 25 trysicles in his front yard.