why are church goers so unfriendly?

Question

I know there are people who go to church and they smile and speak to others, but the majority of people who are in church come in and leave with sour looks on their faces and won't return a smile. Why do they go to church if they are such self-centered and unhappy people?

In the past 20 years I've tried 12 different churches, small, big, Protestant, Catholic, Evangelical, Pentacostal, Lutheran. It takes every bit of strength for me to even go to church with my social anxieties, and I smile at people constantly before and after the services. Some will smile back, but most won't. I think church is simply not for me. It is so stressful for me to sit through the service, I'm exhausted, and then to not feel like I fit in...forget it.

Answer 1

because they go to church.. for this reason..they feel as if they got there way into heavon.. so now they can act like self centered asssholes

Answer 2

Wow, that's a hard question! I know what you mean, though.

I think that some Christians have lost sight of how wonderful it is to have a God that loved and saved them, and over the years have started going to church more out of habit, or because it is the right thing to do.

It could be that they are going to church because they need to be ministered to, and are not yet at a stage where they can reach out to others.

It could be that they are in their own lil world and don't even notice someone trying to befriend them.

When we move to a new town, if we visit a church and the people are not friendly even on our FIRST visit, then we just don't go back. That is not a church with the joy of the Lord.
Living, growing churches will love those who come in.

Also, I've seen that churches need a CORE of solid, mature Christians, and if the church does not have that, it is very very hard for the church to reach out to others, because the majority of the attenders are coming to GET, not to GIVE.

Answer 3

IVE never really cared for going to church and heres why:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oP00LydYIQs

Answer 4

Not all churches are like that at all. Unfortunately some are.
I think sometimes people forget why they are at church, and I am afraid some of this blame falls on the shoulders of the pastor to remind them that Jesus wants us to be happy in him. If church is a burden in someones heart then maybee they need to re-examine what the lord's plan is for them.
When you are at church and you see someone with a frown, smile back at them. It's contagious as all get out. Maybe not instantly but eventually. And if you feel there are quite a few people that seem this way talk with your minister about it, two heads can be better than one you know.

Answer 5

You have had a very negative experience of "church".I have experienced unfriendly churches too and that is something I can never figure out- granted we still can sin, and we do still fail, however, being saved you would think that we would want others to know the JOY we are supposed to have in Christ, so others will want to know Him too. There are churches out there that are welcoming. The church I attend has a mission's statement that starts out- "we are a welcoming community of broken people, who have experienced, the love and mercy of God, and want to share that with others. And it very friendly- not perfect though.

Answer 6

Awww, what a shame that you have had such a negative experience(s) at a house of worship.
I never have that problem where I attend, at the local Kingdom Hall. All are welcome & everyone who comes feels the love of the congregation.

The foremost factor that united fellow believers in the first century was love of God. Those Christians recognized their primary obligation to love the true God, Jehovah, with all their heart, soul, and mind.
He commanded them: “Love one another; just as I have loved you . . . By this all will know that you are my disciples, if you have love among yourselves.” (John 13:34, 35) This was to be, not a superficial emotion, but a self-sacrificing love.

It is still this way today at the Kingdom Hall of Jehovah's Witnesses. All are always invited. You will be noticed & recognized as one who is concerned with their spirituality & in developing a relationship with God, or making your existing one stronger.
No collection is EVER taken!

You WILL SEE A DIFFERENCE- TEST IT OUT! LOOK UP YOUR LOCAL KINGDOM HALL IN THE PHONE BOOK... ATTEND JUST ONE BIBLE CLASS & SEE THE DIFFERENCE!

Answer 7

I am sorry that is your experience. I have been lucky I guess. the churches I have attended, the "norm" is that people tend to be very friendly, kind, genuine and happy. Not just in church but outside of it as well.

Answer 8

depends more on the particular church or even area of the country. I've been to churches of the same denomination(even in the same town) where in one tiny church the folks are so cliquish that no one asked me even who I was and in another in which they were very welcoming.

Answer 9

Every church, and to a certain extent every denomination, has its own culture. I've been in a few churches that were so bubbly and friendly that I almost wanted to hide under my pew. I'd recommend shopping around until you find one where you feel welcome, comfortable (but not complacent), spiritually fed, challenged and encouraged.

Answer 10

They're probably looking at you and thinking, damn, this chick might ask me for money. I already gave money at this mass... so that the priest can eat.. and order cable... and get massages... and buy a car... and purchase those cool Nike shoes he's had his eyes on... etc. etc. etc...

Have you ever pondered this? These church goers - the serfs that they are - are they looking at you thinking - damn, is this chick homeless? Do I really have to shell out more money today?

But seriously... aren't most people unhappy? Smile. You're one of the fortunate ones.

Answer 11

Back when I was a Christian, I would attend church, and the people were some of the nicest people I had ever met. Don't just make an assumption that all church-goers are unfriendly.