How do you get a 5 year old to sleep in her own room?

Question

I have a 5 year old step daughter who sleeps with her mother in her mothers bed at her home. On the weekend she has her own room here and can not share the bed with us. We have done everything she has wanted with her room down to giving her a flash light to use in her room and putting her room right next to ours. I dont know what else to do. She screams and crys and throws fits to the point she makes herself sick. We are looking at getting her full time and need to get this resolved.

Answer 1

There's really no good answer for you because it depends on the situation with your step-daughter that none of use know, although there have been a couple posted solutions that I've used, with success.

Is your step-daughter insecure? Has something traumatic happened in the past to make her scare of sleeping alone? If it's either of these, then you should reevaluate strictly enforcing no sleeping in your bed.

I would go and sit in the bedroom until my kids fell asleep and leave the room after they've gone asleep. I would usually leave the closet light on (a night light was not enough for them) and I never shut the door to their room.

I also a sleeping bag that I let them use in our bedroom on the floor. The did not like the sleeping bag most nights and would go and get in their own bed or ask me to take them back in there and I would do it.

I would make an exception if they were sick or if it was thundering and/or lightening. I would let them come in and cuddle then.

How about each morning, you let her come and get in bed and watch tv or snuggle then? Start a new Saturday morning tradition? Have a "movie night", curl up in bed one evening before bedtime and watch a movie and let her fall asleep and put her in her bed once she falls asleep.

She's 5 and it is hard going from one house to another. And, you are taking her dad's attention away from her- and you are getting to sleep with HER dad while she's in a room by herself. She's confused; she's upset; and feels like you and her dad are being mean to her because her mom lets her sleep with her. Patience, Patience, Patience.

Answer 2

Until you have her full time you will constantly have this battle. Unless her mother changes and also makes her sleep in her own room.
The thing is she is 5, and although it's only for the weekend she doesn't want to change what she likes. She knows that mommy lets her sleep with her but can't understand why she can't at your home.

I suggest getting a cot mattress and telling her that if she won't sleep in her bedroom then she can sleep on the floor in your room. She may not like being put on a "baby" bed and decide to sleep in her room. If she accepts it, don't worry it's a step. At 5 they are still scared of a lot of things. Then as you have her more go from having the mattress in your room to in her room then eventually into her bed.

Once you have her full time, talk to her and ask her what she is scared of, why she won't sleep in her bed. My daughters know that our house has special anti monster paint so that monsters can't get in. They also have a soft squishy night light that colour morphs during the night (like the egg lights but in the shape of a heart). The fact she is going to the extreme of making herself sick shows she's either already worked out that this behaviour will get her what she wants or she is terrified of the though of sleeping by herself.

Maybe let her fall asleep on the cot mattress then put her into her bed, she may wake up but she may not. Then you can say "no we didn't put you into bed you walked yourself to bed - wow your brain must have known how comfortable you would be in there so made you go in there"....

All I suggest is making baby steps towards having her sleep in her own room. She will have enough change to deal with when she changes her full time home. Make small compensations for her and gently help her to sleeping in her own room. Reinforce to her that she's growing up so fast and that sleeping in her own room is a sign she's getting to be a big girl. Try to avoid overompensating for the change of home but bear in mind it is a big thing for a 5yr old to process.

Good Luck

Answer 3

Go to Barnes and Noble and get " the Happiest Baby on the Block"
My four year old would always end up with me by 2:00am.
I love him, but I wanted my bed back!!!!
their is a big section of books on sleeping children or lack there of!
Good luck!

Answer 4

as a daycare provider in a learning center for toddlers, I have found that an effective way to train the kids to their own sleeping space is to lie with them, rubbing their back and playing soothing lullabies works-once they have fallen asleep, leave a nite lite on and go to your bed, if she gets up, take her back in and lie down with her again, this may take a few days, but eventually she will come to terms with the fact that her room is for HER to sleep in and that you will be close by if she needs you-best of luck to you-but please , persevere and be consistent---

Answer 5

dont worry bout it i was the same way and now i sleep in my room just let her sleep with u and when she gets older shel kinda get presured into sleeping in her own room cause her friends will say they sleep in their room and she wont want them to find out and plus when she has sleep overs so dont worry bout it

Answer 6

You will have to ride this out till she is there all the time. Then you can strat to change things for her.

Answer 7

get her a pet either a kitty or a small puppy.then she can sleep with her special pet and wont be alone.good luck.

Answer 8

It sounds like you are doing more tramatic and emotional damage by not letting her have her comfort time. Every kid is different...I think you should compromise...She is a child and needs love and reissurance...there is nothing wrong with humoring her. Stop being so mean