Well we were engaged, and we spent last christmas together, an everything, than, I had surgery an i found he was dating someone else, I know hurtfull, but what I can do to move on?
2007-06-09 11:06:21 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I can't "help" you. What I can do, however, is offer some comments from my experience and my own values (as a married--33 years--male and--I hope--as a good and decent person).
I think that many people find that the hardest part of relationships is moving on when they are over. Closure is a very important part of a past, failed relationship.
For that is surely the kind of relationship you are talking about. It is in the past, and it failed.
That sure is easy for me to say, isn't it?
You were lucky to find out about the hyprocisy, and the lies, and the insincerity, before you got married. This is especially true if your surgery had anything to do with his decision to look elsewhere. I try hard to not be judgemental when I answer people's questions, but when a guy is dating while his fiancee is in the hospital I find it hard to keep my mouth shut and my fingers off my keyboard.
Let me answer your specific question, which is "how to move on?"
It will help you to find some closure if you look at a new perspective.
It might NOT be the end of the relationship itself that is the problem here. The relationship was over when he was dating during your engagement. You need to focus on the end, so you can move on,, but not the end of the relationship itself. Try to get some closure about the end of your hopes and dreams of a lifelong relationship with the man that you once loved.
Some people find that a daily mantra is helpful. Try
"I AM A GOOD PERSON, WORTHY OF THE LOVE OF A GOOD MAN. I WILL FIND ONE, AND POUR ALL MY LOVE AND DEVOTION ON TO SOMEONE WHO DESERVES IT. SOMEONE WHO WILL LOVE ME BACK AND CHERISH ME, FORSAKING ALL OTHERS. I WILL DO THE SAME FOR HIM."
Something like that.
2007-06-09 11:29:33 · answer #1 · answered by Pagan Dan 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Step 1: Cut contact completely.
Stop seeing him.
Stop spying on him.
Stop calling him.
Don't answer his calls or texts or emails or voicemails or valentinecards. Or bills.
Step 2: Analyse your feelings.
Not all of your feeling is love. There is regret too. And there's desire to correct a mistake of the past.
And there's jealousy. And fear of being alone.
Be honest to yourself. Explore all these feelings. Analyse them.
You may find that a lot of what you think of as 'love' is just 'missing' him.
Step 3: Get over him.
Much easier to do when you've completed steps 1 and 2 first.
2007-06-09 18:13:53 · answer #2 · answered by mgerben 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Betty E, Hon he is not a guy worth your attention !Just keep that in mind and find a gentleman ! One who has a true heart !
2007-06-09 18:16:07 · answer #3 · answered by lonewolf 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
move on girl...easier said than done...but a guy who leaves u after u had a surgery is not worth loving i guess..
2007-06-09 18:14:32 · answer #4 · answered by curious 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just forget about men for a while, and concentrate on some remedial English classes---you REALLY need them.
2007-06-09 18:11:10 · answer #5 · answered by die_laffing 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
it's a difficult answer but you have to try and move on, don't talk with him and try to avoid him
2007-06-09 18:10:27 · answer #6 · answered by lil_play_boy_bunny 1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋