Polygamy/Polyandry?

Question

What exactly is wrong with the practice of polygamy? or polyandry? i mean... personally i don't think it would lend itself to a stable relationship, but if three people (or more) can make it work, why not let them try? what's the big deal?

i realize that religion plays a large part in this debate, which is why this is in this section.

i thought this went without saying, but i am talking about consenting adults here, of course.

Answer 1

Hello Dee Emarr,

The State's concern is for property rights, rules of inheritance, money, and all the other things associated with legal relationships. That monogamy goes along with the prevailing religious/cultural imperative is a secondary concern but it also makes the first easier to handle.

I'm of the opinion that interpersonal relationships of a 'different' nature should not be the State's concern, but short of readjusting major laws, I don't see it happening. But with the current mode of marriage being a secondary concern and living together "in sin" being the primary mode, I'm certain such things will naturally occur.

Robert A. Heinlein obliquely addressed the issue in one of his major works of fiction. Read The Moon is a Harsh Mistress and see what you think. There were many advantages in such things apparently.

The only problem with multiple relationships that I can see is that it is often very, very hard for two people who love each other to make a relationship really work. Add a third person and the challenges more than triple. Everyone has to genuinely love and care for the other two, not let personal insecurity lead to jealousy, and be more willing to make sacrifices for the good of the many. The problem is, most people don't seem to be secure enough in themselves nor willing to be self-less enough to make it feasible. I dunno. Did some reading on a few polyamory boards out of curiosity at one time and those seem to boil down to being the main issues.

When you don't have a choice and someone else determines that you are to be third wife or second husband or little girls have to become an old man's wife... well... I won't say what I think about that but you can probably see the air turning blue from where you are.

Tara

Answer 2

Philosophically, I don't have any problem with either, and certainly don't think it should be any concern of the state's. Realistically, I can see why employee benefits providers might have a financial stake in influencing public policy, however.

Anthropologists believe that the dyad (pair-bond) is the most stable social unit, and that other configurations result in destabilization or inequity due to competition and shifts in dyad structure. They could well be right.

Answer 3

I'm not against polyandry or polygamy, as long as it involves consenting adults. Other people's living and marital arrangements are none of my business, nor should they be the business of the state.

Answer 4

In a world where health care benefits aren't through employers, I have no problem with it. Being raised by 2 or 1 parent is certainly no promise of a good family, so I don't see why 3 or more is automatically bad. (indeed, statistically, I bet with 3, you can afford for someone to stay home with the kids.)

This is assuming, of course, that all parties to the agreement are capable of giving consent.

Answer 5

I'm not sure why Abrahamic religions are against it. Some of the founding fathers practiced it-Abraham had two sons by different women-some say Hagar was his wife, not a concubine
I think, as long as all parties consent, it's none of my business, fine with me and it would help with daycare.

Answer 6

Because it would cause a women to live in a relationship where fighting would be unavoidable. They only way they have to stop the fighting is to beat the women loved less.
The bible says that practice was never God's idea but he allowed it because so many men died and it left women to fend for themselves. So one man could take care of several women. But it was just so painful for women that Jesus said to stop the practice. Paul wrote Timothy 3:1 that he should be a husband of one wife.
Men do definitely need to be married and so do women this is God's arrangement that two people be joined in a life long relationship. But three is not a loving couple.

Answer 7

Well I am selfish that way. I want a one woman man in my bed.

Answer 8

It's none of my business what others do in their private lives. They're not hurting me. People criticize it because they fear people who don't conform to what they want.

Answer 9

Becuase God did not mean for that to be so;He wants us to be faithful to to one wife or one husband.not multiples