I wont let my 12 year old daughter go anywhere by herself. I'm afraid something will happen to her. We live four houses away from a school that has a park, and i wont let her go by herself, but when we went on a vacation to Greece, she was free to go anywhere. I was against it but her father was like, let her go. It was safe there, but who knows what kind of hoolagins are out there right? Should she have more freedom, along with her little 9 yr old brother?
2007-06-09 06:54:16 · 14 answers · asked by •*¨*`•.☆helpmeee☆.•`*¨*• 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
I would say at 12 she should be able to walk to the park that's 4 houses away if she has a friend or her little brother! talk to her about stranger danger, and let her know that you trust she is going to have good judgement. If you don't give her some freedom she will start rebelling at some point. and you don't want that!
2007-06-09 07:01:49 · answer #1 · answered by shadychic2002 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
She should be able to walk 4 blocks to school or the park without your supervision. At this point both of your children are old enough to understand not to go anywhere with strangers and if someone is harassing her that she should seek help from a trusted adult.
Yes, there are "hoolagins" out there, but there always have been (and always will be), you cannot change that. The best you can do is let your children experience the real world for themselves and let them learn how to handle these situations. Otherwise they won't know what to do when they're on their own and they don't have mommy to protect them.
2007-06-09 07:49:37 · answer #2 · answered by Laura 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a friend that was overprotected until she was 18 and let me tell you when she got her freedom finally, she did not know what to do!! What she ended up doing is sleeping with about 18 guys within a year... got an STD that will be with her FOREVER!! She started drinking and going wild. She goes to concerts and doesn't understand that when others are smoking pot around her, she is also getting it into her system. I have been working with her to figure out what is acceptable and what is not but she did not experience things when she was supposed to so she is SOOOOOOOOOO naive!! She is 24 now and still sleeping around and moving in with guys whenever there is an offer. So, I think you need to talk to your daughter and give her some freedoms. I think that she will respect you and herself in the future. Give her more freedoms as she deserves them and take away freedoms as she proves she is not ready for them. There are bad people in Greece too so I don't know why you would let her run free in an unknown COUNTRY but not to a park in her own city where she is more likely to know where safe places are and who people around are. I hope this is a little eye opening. I love my friend to death but I don't really like when she comes to my house and uses my bathroom... I bleach it everytime and I don't use the bathroom at her house... you don't want this to happen to your daughter.
2007-06-13 04:22:09 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think she should be able 2 go 2 the park by herself, i mean she's almost a teenager! But only with a friend u also know and trust. Also teach her what 2 do in an emergency, like with strangers, if she's lost, etc. If she has a cell phone, she can contact u right away. Allowing her to have some freedom shows her u trust her. She will like that. But she also has to know that she has 2 keep that trust if she wants 2 get more freedom. Trust isn't sumthing u get, it's sumthing u earn. Also if u overprotect her too much, she will think u don't trust her. A girl is more likely 2 b more rebellious if u r overprotective.
2007-06-09 07:10:07 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would be the complete opposite about giving the freedom in a different country instead of where i live, but I'm guessing maybe you are from Greece or have relatives there. I would be terrified of something happening in a place that I was unfamiliar with. I also have a park close to my home and I let my 12 yr. old girl and her 9 and 10 yr. old brothers go by themselves. It teaches them to be more independent as well as showing them that you trust in them to make the right decisions.
2007-06-09 07:16:02 · answer #5 · answered by rec girl 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you dont let her have some freedom there will be a time when she is by herself and will not know how to behave or what to do in a dangerous situation. I understand the worries I do everytime I let my 9 yr old out to play. But he has limits and boundaries and I have him check in at least every hour and I know where all his friends are. If you are still nervous get one of those Firefly phones, I plan on getting one for my son.
2007-06-12 07:43:36 · answer #6 · answered by Mom of 4 boys and twins 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's only four houses away?? Unless you know it's a bad neighborhood or high-crime area, I certainly see no reason not to let her go by herself.
Why do you think Greece was safer? I would think it would be LESS safe, especially since she likely didn't speak the language well, and may have had more difficulty getting help if needed, because she was in an unfamiliar place. If she could roam another country alone, I think she could handle the park. . .
Would it help to loan her a cell phone to bring with her, just in case of emergencies? (No, you don't have to GIVE her one of her own if you don't want to.)
2007-06-09 07:03:25 · answer #7 · answered by cherryophelia 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think it's a little much to not let her go to the park four houses away, but I don't know where you live. In the country? A safe suburb? That all colors it too. I can understand your concern but two things:
1. If you don't let them go outside and do stuff by themselves, they begin to fear everything unreasonably. Like when she was in Greece and allowed to go around by herself, that gave her great self esteem and told her that she was smart and mature enough to do things by herself. Kids need to learn to be self sufficient. I live in the city and I let my son ride his bike in the neighborhood even though I get scared everytime he goes out the door.
2. You have a son, too, who will be pushing the boundaries pretty soon. He will be getting more freedom, probably, compared to his sister, because he is a boy and the second child, but you need to keep the levels of overprotection kind of equal (comparing age to age and maturity level to maturity level). (Like, when he's 12, you probably won't think twice about letting him go the 4 blocks to the park). You need to be fair
Now my daughter is 15 and she takes 2 city buses to her high school, which still scares the snot out of me, but she has a sense of responsibilityand maturity because of it.
Its hard, I know.
2007-06-09 08:02:12 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand your problem here. My daughter is 13 soon to be 14 and I don't like her to be too far out of my sight. I allow them to go to the neighbors house to play but prefer that they play outside only. I have just started letting her go to the movies but it must be with several people not just her and one friend. They always say a crowd is better. I take her and pick her up always there 20 minutes early just incase the movies let out earlier than say so online. Sometimes my husband will tell me to let her have some fun, but don't want to have anything happen to her.
2007-06-12 09:24:41 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Where I live you must be twelve years old or accompanied by a parent to go to the park, and in most states twelve is the minimum age to stay home alone. Since your daughter is just that side of the age line still being protective is fine. It depends on your neighbor hood and her maturity level.
2007-06-09 07:37:09 · answer #10 · answered by Erica 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋