Dealing With A Naughty Child?

Question

My son is 3, and since we recently had a newborn baby he has started playing up bigtime and I can't control him. My wife remains clam at all times but I can't, I get really angry and roar and shout and this makes him worse, he gives as good as he gets.

I smack him if he does something wrong but it does no good whatsoever, he will go straight back and do it again or he'll also hit you back.

He is causing arguements between me and the wife, I'm at the end of my teather, I don't know how to control him.

Any advice?

Answer 1

Well Dad, it's time for you to control your behavior as well.

A three year old does not need to be ROARED at or smacked. You need to learn to use positive reinforcement and time outs as his only form of punishment. Be consistant with it and you will all have a better relationship.

Answer 2

Avoid spanking, it's already teaching him to hit and you don't want him to listen to you out of fear but rather respect. Try time-out for 3 minutes in a random chair or in the corner, where there is nothing to entertain him. Get down to his level and look him in the eye while speaking to him in a stern but calm manner. Explain what he did was wrong and he must be punished by going to time out. He'll kick and scream but don't give in. Stand your ground (without yelling and screaming because that will teach him it's okay) and eventually he'll get it. This is just a stage and he's adjusting to a new baby. I'm sure it's stressful for him too. Make sure you do things just the two of you. He's probably acting like this because he's feeling left out. Even if you have to run to the store for milk or something, take him with you. A half an hour trip with dad would mean the world to him. Good luck and Happy Father's Day!

Answer 3

Though I know its hard I have been told and tried to exercise the parent time out. When you get this mad at him that you want to yell and scream, and hit, You should calmly walk away. go to your room or outside or the bathroom anywhere you can take a few deep breaths count to at least 10 but I would suggest maybe 50. Then you can deal with him in a more controled manor. Also if you can look at one of the questions I asked a guy gave me a really good answer with the ladder idea. Read what he wrote. I have been trying it and each time my son has done something bad he gets a time out in a boring corner sitting on a small chair. They recommend 1 min. per year of age for a child. So my son gets 3 min. time out. Good luck! Try and control your own temper. I know its hard all of us parents probably have a time or two when we have to remind ourselves that right.

Answer 4

Time outs work wonders. Tell him he can be released when he decides to be a good boy again. Find a corner and a small chair and make him sit there for a few minutes. If that doesn't work, you can confine him to his room. Be consistent, it may take a few good tries and a lot of patience, but he has to learn that you are not there to be at his beck and call. You certainly do not want to re-enforce any negative behaviour, so removing him from the room is the best thing. They do not like to be alone when they are this young. It won't take him long to figure it out.

Answer 5

There is a new book out there called The No-Cry Discipline Solution by Elizabeth Pantley. I bought it but I haven't read it yet. However, I loved her first book. I'm positive that she can teach you how to discipline your son gently and get the peace back into your house.

Whatever you do, remember that punishing out of rage is not cool. It's too easy to lose your grip and really hurt your child. If you lose patience, walk away. I just really lost patience with my whiny 19 month old. I hate crying it out, but today it was better than being with me while I was so impatient. I put the kids down for naps a little early and closed the door. Sure, they cried and whined, but I couldn't deal with them a moment longer. It took me a long time to figure out that it is OK to have my own needs (personal space, time limits on whining, three meals a day, mow the grass once a months or so . . .). When I started balancing my own needs, my house became more peaceful (or maybe it was the Zoloft, I'm not sure).

Anyway, remember that your son just wants your attention, so try to give it to him before he acts up. When my kids are starved for my attention, we make tortillas together. They love playing with and eating the dough, and I love sharing something that's important to me. Maybe for you and your son, it's gardening, playing catch or taking a long walk together. Go to a cave (that's what my weirdo kids like to do), the zoo, the park or just the backyard with your son and let him know how much you love him. Let him know that his baby brother/sister loves him and needs his love too. Just spend some peaceful time with him, and give him some time alone with mom too. This is a wonderful time for him to get to know his grandparents better, too.

He'll settle down once he figures out his new role in the family. You can help him out by keeping a peaceful house. you can do it! It's hard, but I can tell you want some serenity now!

Answer 6

Stay calm. When you feel like your getting that mad, give yourself a time out. Tell your wife she needs to start taking control. But realize too that the little man is probably acting out in jealousy over the new one. Take your 3 year old out to do things. Get his butt nice and tired for bedtime. Just try to be more active with him, this might help quite a bit.

Answer 7

Parenting is really simple.

Teach a child completely how they are to behave.

Require and expect the child to behave in that way.

CONSISTANTLY punish out of love, and hold the child responsible for the things you have taught them.

Children need confidence and structure, routine. Parents provide those things, but you cant provide it if you dont have it in yourself.

Go get some super nanny books. I promise you the issue isnt the child at this point. Its the way he's being parented, and the parents themselves. It doesnt make you a bad person at all. Kids dont come with guide books, and there are no colleges of parenting.

Answer 8

I had to deal with this same situation not all that long ago.

Your wife needs to step up and do something to help control this little wild man. Sounds to me like he is a spoiled brat and needs to be taught to respect his elders. Send him to the Grandparents for a while. That will give you and the wife some time to get yourselves back to being happy while the grandparents instill some discipline in your devil child. He should be made to say sir and maam to all elders and learn that children should be seen and not heard. You have to use some kind of scare tactics.

Good Luck Man, you got a long road ahead of you.

Answer 9

yea yu have the "classic terrible 3's(none of mine ever had terrible 2's.
also im sure you know about the "fight for attention" since the new baby arrived.
dont smack your little 3 year old!(mabe on the leg or booty,or hand,..though,...try the behavior method....if hes being "naughty) no candy or toy.....if hes being a "good boy" praise him,hug him,give him a treat,...?it wont work if you "give in an let him have what he wants all the time.though.your raising a child.no method or training will work overnight ,im sure you know.most importantly.make sure he knows that he is loved!!

Answer 10

Try to stay calm like your wife, build your clamness slowly by slowly. Don't hit him, this is cause of arguments, try to talk it out and give him a reward when he manages to not do something wrong. Do this and you'll control him.