i think i might be abused by mom?

Question

the other night i was getting in trouble for something . i was laying in my bed an dmy mom came and started to pull me by my hair and i fell off the bed knocking into my lamp. I have a HUGE bruise on my elbow..all different colors..a red scratch on my neck and when i went to push my hair out of my face clumps of hair were on my hands..its not like hardcore abuse but this has been happening for years..hasnt happened in a while but still i wasnt sure if this was just dicipline or rly considered abuse...help?! thank you.

thank you all for everything i will take everything into high consideration..btw, i am 17 years old..18 soon..going away to college in august..parents divorced..mom is gay..no alcohol involved. and no , i am not a "rebellious" kid. Very well behaved..drink like any other normal teenager would..probably less..dont smoke..good grades..big heart.....very big heart :-\ . but thankyou all for everything i rly appreciate it

Answer 1

honey i went though the same thing. one day it got so bad she launched me out of a second story window i could have died. it is abuse and you need to get help i made the mistake of never telling anyone and had to go through with it from the time i was 12. on my 18th birthday i moved out. please get help before it gets too bad. if you need someone to talk to who has been though a similar situation email me. [e-mail]

Answer 2

Yes, that is an abuse. It is not just "considered" an abuse, it IS an abuse.

Dicipline ends and abuse starts when you are physically (or emotionally) hurt. You had bruise as a direct result of the incident, and your hair was pulled out.

Yes, it IS an abuse.

I see you did something to get you into trouble, but there was no need to physically pull you by your hair. Think about this. If you did this to someone else, it will be called an assult. Same thing.

Now, what to do about this.... Be sure what you said is accurate and true, because you are making an allegation that will put someone in jail.

At one point, when you decide you had enough, contact an adult or a school teacher, counselor, or a doctor. They will know what to do. At minimum, have a phone number of someone whom you feel safe with you.

Just remember this... once you make a call, there is no turning back. Be sure what you say is accurate and true.

Answer 3

Hey, I'm a mom and that sounds like your mom has an anger problem. Discipline is when your child gets in trouble and you ground them or take something away from them as a punishment. I don't think thrashing them around and having a cat fight with them is discipline. I think maybe you should talk to your mom and tell her how you feel. If she's a good Mom then she'll realize it was wrong and control herself, but if she's not I think you should tell a close family member and ask them for help. When I was little my Mom went crazy on me too but she was going through menopause and after wards when she realized what she was doing she cried more then I did. Other then that one time she was a wonderful Mom. Your Mom might have some issues that you don't know about. Unless you killed someone I don't think it's right. My Dad always said children didn't ask for you to put them on this earth , the Parents did so treat them like they should be treated the best things that ever happened to you!

Answer 4

Discipline doesn't involve pulling hair out in clumps. Your mom has anger management problems. Yes, it cana be difficult dealing with teens (I'm assuming that's your age category) but beating up on them doesn't teach them anything, except that this is the way children should be raised, so they will use the same flawed technique with their children. You don't have to put up with it, and you can break the chain right now. Talk to someone about the abuse - the school year is ending, so talking to a counsellor at school might not be possible, but is there some other adult you can turn to? Where is your dad while all this is going on? Is he also abusive, or does he just stay out of the way when your mom goes on a rampage? If yours is a church going family, your priest or pastor can help. But if not, go to Social Services. They have phone lines you can use if you wish to remain anonymous, but what really needs to happen is to contact an adult in a position of authority who can tell your mom that if it happens again, there will be charges laid.
Do you have siblings? Are they treated the same way?
I know it's tough to 'tattle' on your mom, but in some cases it's necessary, and this is one.

Answer 5

I think your mom does not know how to discipline you. It may not be because she is abusive, but because that is how she was disciplined. That kind of brawling is considered abuse. Are you a rebellious kid? Do you lie to her? are you doing stuff that is illegal or immoral? If so, maybe you should think more carefully about your actions. Your mom, however is in desperate need of some parental counseling. This is not the way to discipline a child. She is lashing out at you in out of control anger. Maybe you could have a discussion with her about rules and consequences. You know when you have done wrong, and that you need to be punished some way. come up with some appropriate punishments for a person your age (restriction, loss of privileges, etc) and present them to your mom. (when you are not in trouble) see if these are acceptable to her. then if you do one of these things, take the punishment without whining or complaint. If your mom can trust you to do what she says, or not to lie to her, things will get better. Also watch your mouth with her. Treat her with respect and things may change. If your mom has a substance abuse problem, then she needs professional help. It is probably a good idea anyway. I will pray for your safety.

Answer 6

Yes, you are being abused. This shouldn't happen even once, and this has been going on with you for a prolonged period of time. It doesn't matter how frequently it happens.

You need to see your doctor ASAP so that he can not only check you out but can note the injuries. If you can't get to your doctor on your own, get in touch with an adult you can trust to help get you there and be there for you.

Don't downplay this by saying that it's not hardcore. Any abuse is unacceptable, and I think that yours is definitely significant. No one deserves to be abused. You need and deserve safety and respect.

All my best wishes to you as you seek to resolve this problem. Please, seek help.

Answer 7

Hearing only 1 side of the story here. You mentioned you did something to get her upset with you? A parent should never go as far as what your mom did. I do want to say that you must be prepared if you go to the law, family services, doctor or other could be they will remove you from the home and in doing so they will probably investigate the living situation... Depending on your age you could choose to Live by your parents rules until your able to move out on your own in your own place. Until then it is there place or her place and they or her has the right to have whom ever living under there roof to abide by there rules like it or lump it.

Answer 8

Discipline is a learning environment characterized by positive, supportive parent-child relationships, teaching and setting good examples.
Hope you understand, that physical abuse is a form of violence. Your mom is releasing her rage by inflicting pain on her own child. She just may not be able to control her anger.
I am hoping your teenager, and attend high school. There should be trained counselors employed at your school that can help you deal with your moms anger issues. Your too important to be anyones personal punching bag!

Answer 9

This is just a shot in the dark b/c I can't tell you exactly how I found this website. I was trying to figure out what kind of depression my brother had. I typed in bipolar disorder then some how I found a link on one of those web sites that had lists of all kinds of meds and tell you what they are used for. Thats how I confirmed what meds he was taking plus I remember seeing pills just with numbers too. Just a shot in the dark. It was under one of the first 3 bipolar blogs. Hope you can find it wish I could be of more help.

Answer 10

You may not consider this "hard core" because you have had it happen many times. It IS hard core and is 100% abusive! Pulling your hair out is horrid! Discipline is usually used with words and NOT an adult using their hands on their child!!! I hope there is another adult in your life who you trust and who you can talk to about this. I'm so sorry sweetie. It's NOT okay for your mom to do those things to you.

Answer 11

I feel that you are being abused and that you should get some help. You should try talking to your mom first and if she doesnt care then you need to go to a school counselar. Now understand this, you will most likely be taken away from your mom and put into the foster care system. So be prepared for that.