Ok, so my inlaws and my family dont get along at all (because of an incident 7 years ago).... my sons 6th birthday is tomorrow, I always let my kids pick where they want to have their party and they always choose a park near my home and my mothers home. You can rent a pavillion there and there are bathrooms. My mother in law refuses to go to parties where my parents are and is mad that its near my moms house and not hers, she lives in a different county (just over a bridge) but all of the kids friends live not far from where we are having the party. my husband is throwing a fit saying next year were doing it near his mothers which is 20 min from where the kids friends live and you cant rent the pavillion as far as i know.... what do i do in this situation??? what can i do to get her to start coming to the kids birthdays... not to mention buying them equal gifts.. my son got 4 new ps2 games and my daughter got 2 outfits from kohls....how do i stop the favortism??!
2007-06-09 05:19:43 · 5 answers · asked by jfrench4 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I don't think you will be able to change your in-laws at all. We can't control how others act; the only thing we can control is how we respond to them.
If your MIL refuses to go to a party where your parents are in attendance, then how is having the party by her house next year going to help? Your parents, I am sure, will still attend their grandchildren's parties. So that way, you will be having a party twenty minutes away that your MIL still will not attend. (Unless the witch will try to insist that your parents do not attend).
There is no way to stop the favortism unless you and your husband agree to stand up to your MIL together. You can both tell her that you and your children appreciate the gifts, but as the kids get older they will begin to notice the difference in the prices of the gifts and you do not want that to happen. It may not help but at least you have let her know how you feel.
This is a rough situation. The only solution would be to (if you want to make your husband happy) have a little family celebration with your in-laws at home either the day before or after the party so that they (or she) will attend. As kids get older (at least in my family) the relatives did not attend the kids birthday party. We let them have a party with their school friends, team friends, etc. The family had something at the parent's house and the relatives brought the gifts then.
Feuding parents - OMG, how awful. Good luck to you.
2007-06-09 05:38:43 · answer #1 · answered by Patti C 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is between you and your husband really. You can never stop favoritism since it just plain exists. Grandparents usually have favorites. BUT when your husband wants to drag all the kids to his moms 20 minutes away, that IS a problem. A lot of them wont be able to attend. In addition, he doesnt see the fact that she is boycotting and trying to manipulate by saying if your parents are there , she isnt going to come. It is an insult to you. Unless you and your husband can agree that what she is doing is wrong, this problem will only grow. I think that you are right to invite everyone. Soon your child will decide whom he wants to invite . Whoever does not show up is making a huge statement about themselves and their lack of respect for you. You and your husband have to be a united front. If he is throwing a fit, maybe he is just like his mom.? This should ALL be ONLY about your son not parents. This is too too much drama and is not good for 6 yr olds since they DO pick up on it and overhear the discord.
2007-06-09 05:59:22 · answer #2 · answered by barthebear 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, talking from adventure right here, i comprehend the place you're coming from. I actually have a six year previous, too, and it has gotten so undesirable that this year, some did not even get an invitation, regrettably. it incredibly is basically too undesirable that adults won't be able to act like adults. besides, you may not substitute the inlaws. they're going to act that way in case you have the party everywhere they did not arise with of their own minds. not something you're able to do to alter THAT! you may backpedal and do it their way, yet what sturdy might that do? purely reason extra harm thoughts and your infants's pals in all probability isn't there. not a competent answer. i'm hoping you and your husband can bond at the same time in this one, inspite of the shown fact that. You 2 would desire to be on the comparable internet site pertaining to to this difficulty. maybe attempt to speak to your husband whilst the timing is sturdy, huh?
2016-11-09 22:06:28 · answer #3 · answered by mcmillian 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell them that if they can't grow up and behave like adults, then they're no longer invited to their own grandchildrens' parties. They are setting a bad example for the young ones who might pick up their behaviors and copy them at school or places where you as parents aren't around. And equality in birthday or Christmas gifts will help later on in life. The kids will learn that they are both loved for who they are by all who surround them.
2007-06-09 05:27:51 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have this problem to. I have parties where my kids want to. I invite every one & if they don't come well that is there problem. Equal gifts- Set a low dollar amount they can give. I have given gifts back because they went over the amount.
2007-06-09 05:29:12 · answer #5 · answered by melody 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋