This may be kinda long...
A couple of days after school closed,this boy and I were just casual friends,saying hey or something and moving on with our lives.
But then...we started talking on the phone all the time as well as yahoo messenger.And I realized I love talking to him..he has a great personality-funny,sweet,nice,etc.
I just can't stop thinking about him and everytime I think about him,I get all these butterflies in my stomach.
But the problem is..he is not cute at all..to mildly say it.I'm not saying I am drop-dead gorgeous,but I've just never done that before..When my friend first saw him,she judged him just like I did,but she realized what a great person he really is and so did I. I don't think I should give up talking to him because even though he is not physically sexy,his personality makes him sexy to me.
So am I being shallow for being reluctant for going with him (if he asks) because he is not attractive? I really like him..and it shouldnt matter but..help me out!
2007-06-09 04:16:09 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Yes, you seem rather shallow to me, also very childish as well. I say give the lad a chance and go out with him. Who knows? the two of you might have a lot of fun together.
2007-06-09 04:23:11 · answer #1 · answered by Mike M. 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is shallow.....probably a little.
Looks fade over time and as you get to know someone looks become less important. I know when I met my wife I thought her face looked like it had been 'squished' it was so flat. Now I can remember the thought but just can't see it when I look at her.
However if I had to judge the 'shallow' question I would say this:
If you do not go out with the guy because of what your friends will think about you as a couple then it is too shallow.
If you do not go out with the guy because there just is not and will not be a physical spark then its not shallow, just saving yourself a lot of wasted effort on a relationship that is doomed.
2007-06-09 04:26:35 · answer #2 · answered by Jason T 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
See the whole key to being happy as a woman is find a guy who used to be an ugly dork, and get him after the caterpillar has turned into the butterfly...most guys who are very attractive dont think they need to be funny or intelligent, or nice (that goes for women too)...but anyway...
The fact is that if he does not do it for you in that way, you will never be able to "be" with him totally...you need the whole package, but the fact that you are thinking about these things and acknowledge how you feel says that you are not shallow at all. But without attraction there will be no full relationship...good question...
2007-06-09 04:21:27 · answer #3 · answered by JP 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Looks fade over time but personality is forever. It shouldn't matter that he's not the best looking b/c he has a great personality. What's the point of having a good looking guy if he's an ***, stupid, or has no personality? Of course the first thing that grabs your attention about a person may be their looks but if you two don't have anything in common or whatever, then there's nothing. There is a guy who likes me, at first I didn't pay him much attention b/c I wasn't attracted to him, but he was so sweet & considerate, it made me think twice. PLUS, if his personality makes him sexy to you, that's all that matters!
2007-06-09 04:26:27 · answer #4 · answered by Nikk 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you're not being shallow. You're being honest with yourself. So... kudos!
Now that we've settled that, I'd say you should just go with the flow. The guy probably knows he's not that good-looking. That said, keep in mind that he would likely be willing to do the following: 1. win you over with his other attributes (looks like he's already doing that); and 2. eventually, improve his appearance in other ways, like clothes, hair, facial hair, etc.
Hope this helps!
-Popp
2007-06-09 04:26:21 · answer #5 · answered by popularest 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust me there are some cute looking guys out there who don't even have any personality. He seems to be a great guy and u like him for the person he is so why worry about looks.
2007-06-09 04:21:53 · answer #6 · answered by julia1975 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't worry, as much as people say 'Oh no, personality's the most important thing, I don't care at ALL if he's fit or not', everyone thinks like this! He sounds pretty cool though...even if you end up not dating, he sounds like a great friend to have
2007-06-09 04:20:56 · answer #7 · answered by PurpleWatermelon 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes diva, a little shallow, however if you're genuinely not attracted to him, dont lead him on, try to build a strong platonic frienship instead.
2007-06-09 04:22:48 · answer #8 · answered by Elle777 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no to be rude but thats a little shallow to say the least it shouldn't matter
2007-06-09 04:20:28 · answer #9 · answered by Katie Noble 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋