my daughter is 14 and she wants to date a 13 year old boy and they both like each other what should i do!?

Question

my 14 year old likes a 13 year old boy and i have no clue of what to do and i told her she can hang out with him but in the presents of me. no dating til she is 15 ,16,17 years old.

Answer 1

Let them be teens! Who cares what their age is! Let them be in love! What are you afraid is gonna happen? Let them hang out without you. Trust your daughter.

Answer 2

you say no dating until 15, 16, 17...she's 14 already that's pretty close to 15 don't you think?
If she was 12 turning 13, I might back you up a little more.
don't worry I'm still on your side. I think it's ok if they go out together in a group of friends. Get the boy to come over, maybe for dinner or something so you can meet him and you can even talk to your daughter about her ideas on intimacy and relationships. They'll still be pretty juvenile but at least you can get a feel for they way she's going about dating...does that make sense?
don't make it a big deal and have a huge sex talk...my mom tried to do that to me when I was in grade 5 and I never told her anything ever again. so keep it casual and light, share experiences and ask questions.
she'll be fine

Answer 3

Stand firm. I'd let him come over to hang out and watch TV or have dinner with you. Maybe you can accompany a group of friends and family to a movie or some fun activity. The thing is, the boy and your daughter need to understand how much you care and that developing an us-vs-them attitude won't help. Good luck, man. I have a 12 year old girl and am bracing myself for what's to come.

Answer 4

When I had to deal with this same problem these are some things I did.
Do not forbid anything, you must educate her about BOYS.
I asked my daughter to wait until age 17, just as I did.
Told her boys can be very cruel,most of which are.
But not to discourage, there is some good out there.
If you were honest with her all thru life ,so far, you shouldn't have any major fighting or whatever. Keep that line of communication open and don't judged her too much.
good luck!

Answer 5

I totally understand how you feel. She is too young, I reckon and it's even worse she is dating a boy younger than her. You should try to talk to her like tell her that she shouldn't go on date so early or else she will regret - give her some examples (if you don't have any real examples, lie to her - you will have to). She will probably think she is mature enough and not listen to you. Just tell her off! And you can even discuss with the boy's parents. They should really be friends at this stage. Good Luck~

Answer 6

Are you implying the fact you don't trust your daughter? Or the boy... Either way, i think you should let her date to a certain extent...I mean..let them go to a movie together, and you can be in another theater. That way, you're still there, not there to bug them, and they're in public, so they won't try anything..erm...too grown up.

It might just be a phase, remember. A lot of the kids are probably talking about their boyfriends/girlfriends, and she's probably just getting herself confused. She thinks she loves him, but if you let them date, she may find it wasn't all it seemed to be.

I remember my first boyfriend..I was in grade 8 and there was this guy i really really liked. I went out with him, and then i realised dating wasn't as interesting as everyone says it was...he probably hardly remembered my name ..then again he is an idiot..He confufed Christina, my name, with Chinatina. How the hell he did that is..beyond me..but anywho..

Let them go on a few little dates, and she's sure to think things through once she sees how it really is.

Answer 7

Letting them hang out is a good idea. And so is not letting her date til shes 15-16. But the whole "in my presence" thing might be kinda pushing it. I would understand making them hang out at ur house but dont make it like they HAVE to be seen by you at all times. Or if they go to the mall, take them and walk around while theyre doin their teen thing. Just follow behind them a few stores... you dont want to embarrass her too bad. so just keep it on the "d.l." [[down low]]
Good Luck

Answer 8

Whew you struck a chord with me. I have a 13 yr old daughter. Her father and I are divorced and he allowed her to have her bf (14 yrs) over to their house daily. He even allowed her to have him IN her bedroom. Nothing major happened BUT they started becoming so emotionally attached to each other that it scared me. They each would tell each other that they 'loved' each other. WOW that scared me too.
This is my viewpoint on a boy/girl relationship at that age: I would allow them to see each other ONLY in a group situation, meaning school dances, church functions or anything of that nature.
You know and I know that a 13 yr old child is not fully capable of handling the emotional and physical responsibilities of a dating relationship.
Good Luck. You have my support.

Answer 9

i really dont think its appropriate because u might want to look ahead at what might happen later. She might be heartbroken unnecessarily and for a 13 yr olg guy who is not matured enough to keep a meaningful relationship.... therefore anything he does with another girl will be seen as cheating by your daughter. So just like you told her... let them hang out and that way she can learn a lot about him and understand him better

Answer 10

I'm 17 and I think that you should let them hang out don't tell them they can't date but make sure that they aren't by themselves set guide lines, like that they have to go out with a group of friends and try to have them in public places, like a mall, where they can't do anything that would be bad at such an early age.. i remember that my hormones were crazy at that time so just tell her to be safe, and not to fall into pressure and do anything that she doesn't want to do.
This way she's not mad at you but your still in control. Hope that works for you.

Answer 11

"Dating"
Ask her to define that.
If that means going for ice cream or to the movies... who cares!?
Ask her straight out "Does that mean kissing?"
and listen carefully to her answer.

I say.... If you tell her no, she's going to do it anyway and just not tell you.

Show her your trust her and make PERFECTLY clear what is appropriate for her to be doing with boys at her age. MORE THAN ONCE.

This is the perfect opportunity to really start talking to your daughter about relationships. Wouldn't you rather she learned from you than from the first guy that breaks her heart?