Question for homeschooling mothers?

Question

Do you feel that you are more respected if you home school? Do you feel that you would not be respected if you were a stay-at-home mom without homeschooling, that society dismisses women unless they work outside the home?

Answer 1

That is a deep question!

As a human being you deserve all the respect, love and acceptance. The fact that you happen to be female, a mother, homeschooler or anything else, should not have any bearing on this expectation and equality.

I was demeaned as a wife and mother, and I did suffer many prejudices as a homeschooler. However, I expected of me and my children, a sense of fair-play, a decency towards self and others, a true freedom of thought, and in so doing, I have reaped praises and recognition within myself and from my children. That is all that counts!

My youngest is a University honor student studying neurosciences. What people said then, and what people say now, no longer have any bearing, I allow people to think and speak any which way. I know in my mind what is right and what matters. Let the world go by...focus on your honor as a human and do the best you can with what you have (or don't have).

Answer 2

I didn't make my choices based on what respect I might get from others, but on what fit my family's needs and what we liked best.

I don't think I get more respect for homeschooling; some people think it's great, a lot of people think it's a waste of time, and a few people think it's just plain wrong. To each his own.

I work sometimes to stash away a bit of money, and stay home when I can and be frugal and try to make the money stretch... as far as I'm concerned, I'd rather be home. I love working, don't get me wrong-- I started working at a young age doing odd jobs, and started working regular jobs at 15. When I do take a job I try to do something I enjoy because life's to short to be miserable all day. I was blessed to have a family who instilled a good work ethic in me, and I'm not unhappy working. But honestly, the biggest satisfaction for me these years when my kids are still young is not from an employer or a paycheck or a title, but from being a full-time or near full-time mother. We're all happier and less stressed and less rushed when I'm home and appreciate the things we get to do together and the time we spend together.

Some people don't respect women who like to stay at home-- that's their problem. I say if you like to work, if it fulfills you more to be a working mom, then you should do it. Nothing wrong with that. I'm more fulfilled right now when being a SAHM, as I know I can pick up my career choices10 years from now when my kids don't need me around so much.

MSB

Answer 3

Society today defeats itself in not respecting stay-at-home moms, as if that isn't a plausible career choice. Who's going to pay for the next generation's retirement but the kids of those moms?

Most people are very polite, but the nasty ones stand out. A lot of people give me the impression that taking on the responsibility of raising your own family is crazy.

People who know nothing about homeschooling and hear that that is what I'm going to do, try to convince me to send my kids to public school. I don't get a whole lot of respect for it, except from other homeschooling moms.

Fortunately, my family supports me and so do the main people on my husband's side.

Speaking of women who are dismissed if they work outside the home. I know of factions that support the stay-at-home mom and the homeschooling mom and ones that support the working mom, but what about women who want to stay at home and take care of their homes and husbands and don't have children hence the homemaker. When did women's primary place become pursuing the top dollar instead of peace and contentment for all dear to them. I can understand women who need to work, who are doing what they can, who are having a hard time at home, but why pursue a mindless career instead of a rewarding one like raising and being part of a family.

Money is a hard cold blooded thing to keep you company in your old age.

Answer 4

As a homeschooling mom, I think I often get less respect because people are so critical of homeschooling.

I really have no idea what society thinks of stay-at-home moms anymore. It seems to be either very respected or looked down upon, or even pitied--depending in whose opinion your getting.

It doesn't really matter to me though. I could send my kids to school--public or private, and not have to deal with people disapproving of our choice to homeschool. I could teach school as I'm a certified teacher. I could choose to go back to school and get a higher level degree. I'm sure I could get more respect from certain people if I made different choices, but we've chosen to disregard others' opinions and do what we believe is best for our family.

Answer 5

Good question! :-)

And I would say yes; although it seems to be slowly changing.

I quit my job when my oldest was born. No one questioned me until she turned three. Since we didn't have more children yet, everyone began asking when I was going back to work. My answer of, "I'm thinking about being a stay-at-home mom." was usually met by raised eyebrows and a short, "Oh!"

Maybe it was just me, but I felt pressured to go back to work. It was what was expected--especially since I had what most women consider a really good job. (This was ten years ago.)

When we decided homeschool, attitudes changed and people were awed. Instead of short surprised response, it changed to, "Wow!"

Since I began homeschooling, women have started supporting other women whether they are "only" stay at home mothers, or whether they decide to homeschool. I for one am thankful for the support.

Don't get me wrong. We didn't decide to homeschool because of what people said. We did what we felt called to do--and what a wonderful blessing it has been!

Not all women are made/called to do all things. Each of us needs to do what the good Lord calls us to do and do it to the best of our ability.
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Answer 6

I guess I never thought about homeschooling from a perspective of respect for myself. I have been a teacher for over 25 years and choose to homeschool my children for various reasons. If I didn't have children, I would probably be teaching at a school somewhere. Since I have children, if I sent them to a school, I would likely be teaching at their school. I do have friends who love being a stay-at-home mom and homeschool their children. I have friends who love being a stay-at-home mom and don't homeschool their children. AND I have friends who homeschool their children and have a job outside of the home also. As a mom, you do what you have to do to take care of your family--and that usually means making choices for your kids that are best for them, without regard of the respect of outsiders.

Answer 7

Having been both on the professional side, and the stay at home side, I remember being told I was "wasting my education, and experience"; and this was 23 plus years ago.

I even heard that staying at home was for women who could not do anything else; they had no skills, or their husbands wanted them at home, and under their control.
Nothing could be further from the truth for those wonderful talented women I know as stay at home moms, who gladly give up working outside the home to take care of their families, and not all of them are home schooling.

That clearly sends the message to me that society places very little value on stay at home mom's.

My only response was that my family was more important, and that they now would be the recipients of that education, and experience; it would benefit us as a family.

Personally I do not care what people think of me, or if they respect what I do; my self worth and how I feel is not dependent on what I do for a living.
I find it kind of sad when people identify with what they do for a living, rather than who they are as a person.

Home schooling , raising a family, and still running a household is hard work, I do not do it to gain respect from outsiders, my families love, and respect is all that matters.
I would have chosen to stay home even if we would not have opted to home school our children.

One thing I would like to add though, what we as home schooling parents do each day is not for wimps, and no amount of schooling can prepare you for the multi tasking that comes with this job.

Answer 8

I am a casual employee, paid well and in high demand. I like to be able to say,"I have to have time to homeschool" as an excuse to refuse shifts. I think I would feel guilty if I did not have that reason to work full time, and it is accepted as valid. I have been a working mother for 32 years; I think the trend to "look down on" stay at home moms is waning. I envy any woman who is a full time homemaker. Believe you me, there is TONS of stuff to do in a day to run an economical house and garden and raise children. I could never understand women who could not bear to stay at home with their children all day. (I have also run a preschool day care out of my home, I used to feel so sorry for the little tykes) Yes, I also admire families who are able to live within their means, manage their finances and value their families enough to allow one parent to actually raise their own children. As far as grabbing for that extra buck; "It's all vanity". The only thing you have that will make a difference to the world is your children!

Answer 9

Do I feel more recpected by others NO. Around here its ok to be a stay at home mom if you can afford it but everyone I know wants their kids gone for the duration of a school day and don't understand how I dont go crazy. I've done both and had less problems being a "domestic engineer" (lol) than a home school teacher.

Answer 10

I truly dont believe that. I was a child psychologist before I began homeschooling and had a respectful career. For me, my children were far more important than my career. I truly believe it was best for them to homeschool. If our situation ever changes and its better for them to be in public or private school I will go back to work. Its not a matter of respect, its a matter of doing what is best for my kids.