My Mum died 7 years ago and my Dad has been with his girlfriend for around 5 years. My sister, 18, doesn't particularly like her. we don't live with my father, but i usually stay with him on weekends. my Dad's girlf's son's are grown up with their own families.
i feel like my family are always making the comprises for her family. when we finally argeed to go on holiday with my sis, her boyf, Dad, his girlf & me she said that we couldn't because she argeed to look after her sons rabbit and house while they were away for 2 weeks. yet that time was the only time me & my sis could go away because of our school exams.
& now we can't go away at all because of her back problem.
last time i went away with them plus her granddaughter she took lots of pictures of her granddaughter & my Dad but not me i felt really left out because we are usually quite close. they don't talk me me much in the car amore, i like spending time with them but do they not what me around so much anymore?
2007-06-08 19:28:27 · 17 answers · asked by aimz w 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Yes, you should talk to your dad. n
2007-06-08 19:34:55 · answer #1 · answered by Nikki 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I think you need to talk to your dad. You don't sound very old and I don't think you should be upset like this, its not fair. However try to be grown up about it when you talk to your dad. Don't make it sound as tho you are criticising his girlfriend. Just point out like this "Dad have you got a minute to talk" pause...... (this is when he's on his own with you).
Say - "Well its about us all as a family and the way things are for me......sometimes Dad I feel a bit left out when we're all together...."
If he's the sort of person who will talk, you have no worries.
He will probably want to know why you feel like that - just say -"well I do try to get along with them because I know you like them - its just now and then I feel like this."
Tell him also that you are missing your mum.
These are only suggestions love - but perhaps you can use a phrase or two of what I've put. There are many people in very similar situations as this and I know it is very difficult for you.
All the best Aimz W
2007-06-12 09:50:40 · answer #2 · answered by frodonicey 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My brother has gone through a similar problem. He married a second time to a woman who had two kids and they didn't like my brother's son. It's very sad.
This is a typical mess that families are in today. Your Dad's girlfriend clearly sees his kids as a nuisance and your Dad is clearly desperate to make things work out, so he's compromising more than he should.
You could mention it to your father, but I think he will blindly back up his girlfriend because he couldn't face breaking up with her after so long. Still, if you're not happy, you should tell him. If he doesn't know, he can't help you. Even if he does nothing, at least you've told him how you feel. Good luck.
2007-06-08 19:36:05 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
It's a major situation to you if it's causing so much unhappiness. You must talk to your dad, and maybe point out that the compromises he is making are way above and beyond the call of duty. You know what they say though - men will do anything for an easy life, even if it does make them look cowards!!
2007-06-11 06:05:05 · answer #4 · answered by noreen_k 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry to hear that your mom past away I know that is hard. I am also sorry to hear that you feel left out. I think you need to ask your dad to take a walk with you just for a walk alone and you need to tell him you feel left out and it's upsets you please do that ok! If that dont work then you need to tell your mom's family about it they might be able to help you or you could go to his girlfriend and say somthing but your sister is 18 she can say somthing too! wright a note to the both of them just use your voice Kids have the right to be heard
good luck!
2007-06-08 19:41:05 · answer #5 · answered by cherry 1 · 2⤊ 1⤋
First and foremost, the very essential thing a family could have is communication. It's not because she's not your real mom or anything, it deosn't change the fact that she's still part of the family as it is. It might be helpful if you talk to them, your dad and her, and tell them exactly how you feel. You can choose to talk to your dad first one-on-one, and then with her also one-on-one if you want. Sometimes, it's just because their unaware that they cause you to feel these kinds of emotions that they still continue doing what they do. Tell them, it wouldn't be that much of a thing to do. Good luck!
2007-06-08 19:36:51 · answer #6 · answered by linkin4eternity 2 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Oh, sweetie, that is so sad. I think you need to speak with your dad and tell him how you feel. He needs to make more effort and make sure his partner is not excluding you and making you feel so unwanted. They are the adults here and should be acting as such. If you are sad and hurting, it is your dad's job to help you.
I would write down all the things that you feel are spoiling the relationship between you all, and how you would like to have them fixed. Tell your dad you love him, and want to be part of their family, but you feel as if you are in the outside.
I am sure he will be open to your feelings and things will improve.
Good luck, babe.
2007-06-08 19:46:06 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Speak to your Dad on a 1 to 1 basis, and explain how you feel, i am sure that you will find out the opposite, your Dad Loves you and always has. good luck.
2007-06-09 00:56:35 · answer #8 · answered by Mouse 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It is not a major situation, it is common these days for people to overlook the emtional needs of the younger generation, to be very self centred: your generation seems to understand more of these things more readily, more intelligently, because you are more deeply into it, more than your dad and his generation! you are in fact very understanding, mature, the way you have expresssed yourself, the way you have put it across: okay, still, even though it is not a major situation, you can talk to dad about it, choosing the right time, and in gentle tones in a nice way! you know what I mean: you know, because you are a very understanding and mature person yourself!
2007-06-08 19:39:16 · answer #9 · answered by swanjarvi 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
YES, you should tell your Dad everything that you have written here. You have a good gripe because, as a Dad, he should be putting you guys first, not his wife.
When she married him, she accpeted that he had children and he is the one to make sure you guys are loved and cared for. TELL HIM HOW YOU FEEL FROM HIS ACTIONS. THIS COULD MAKE ALL THE DIFFERENCE IN THE WORLD.
2007-06-08 19:43:27 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Talk to him..men often have a blind spot in this kind of situation...or it might be he is aware and thinks it best to say nothing..but remember you are on the threshold of a new life in a few more years these things wont be as important...Go on have that chat but make it a nice one.
2007-06-09 01:01:36 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋