We moved to a new town trying to work things out and start over as friends. We were the only people we knew so we hung out a lot, almost everyday. But now he has new friends and is dating someone new. We were friends " with benifits" and now i feel horrible and left out. He wants me to be freinds with all his new friends too, but i feel like a tag along and like he pitties me or something. we still have to see each other because of our son. I'm scared of being totally alone. Do i meet all these new people and possibly make new friends and watch him fall in love with another girl or be a single mom totally alone?
2007-06-08 19:23:09 · 11 answers · asked by alana d 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Are you still having feelings for him or are you scared of being alone? Friendship with "benefits"sounds like a relationship or a convenience. Somebody was being used, maybe both.
You can meet his friends, and you may just get hurt, who knows? You can also cut the ties, remain friendly for you son, but keep things separate. This will help you get past it and will be less confusing for your son. Then you can make friends of your own, maybe even a boyfriend. You are worth it, you deserve it.
Join church, clubs, take classes, meet friends through work, through other friends...that's what divorce is...separation and starting over.
Don't let your ex cheat you again, make life better for you and your son by thinking about yourself, for yourself.
2007-06-08 19:35:34 · answer #1 · answered by Tikled_Ivory 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please please please.....find your OWN friends. I don't care what you have to do or join to find them! You will forever feel like a tag-a-long if you start hanging out with him and his friends all the time. Not saying, don't meet them...but don't make them your new best friends. If you have feelings for him and he's dating people, that's your clue that it's over and you need to move on....be civil for your child and NO benefits! You will wind up in a sloppy and ugly situation if you fall into that trap. And have some faith in yourself..don't be so extreme. Why does it have to be make friends with his friends/watch him fall in love vs being a lonely single mom?? Think about it like this, this person he's dating may be gone within the week, his friends may be backstabbers and idiots...you may find a ton of your own friends and a new love of your own and any number of potential possibilites. But whatever happens, as long as you find your own interests/friends and DON'T blur the lines of your relationship, you'll be just fine. Good luck!
2007-06-09 02:38:36 · answer #2 · answered by Mimi 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've got a few choices here. But again, no matter anyone here tells you, it's ultimately up to you. You could talk to him, let him know your feelings, see how he reacts and maybe totally start over in a new relationship. Or you could suck it up, try to meet some new pple for your sake, as well as, be there for him with his new circle of friends. With you still having feelings for him, standing back and watching him fall for another would be tough, but you may not be able to control that. The least you could do is work your way back into his life on a new level.
2007-06-09 02:29:10 · answer #3 · answered by mreyensky 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nopers, you make friends other than his friends and him. Of course you're going to still have feelings for him if you never really were apart. Yes, for your kid you should stay friends but dont force it because that can cause damage. No ones ever totally alone, please keep that in mind. Hope this helped.
2007-06-09 02:29:38 · answer #4 · answered by pirate prince 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do the first thing, move out or u risk becoming a loner, big, fat, cribbing single mom.Not necessarily date that guy again, find some one new, live ur life.
2007-06-09 02:28:31 · answer #5 · answered by vio_prince 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please dont go there.....he's just holding on to you just in case the new girl dont work out....and sex with someone after the relationship is over is a no-no....get out and meet new ppl...he's probaly bragging to his friends that he has old p*ssy and new p*ssy...u dont have to be single...get out there and meet new ppl..better yet go out with his friends and him, and u never know....you could meet other ppl through them....guys!! u get my drift..u can tell if he wants u all to himself, but want to be able to date....he'll get really jealous of whoever ur talk to...which in case...leave him alone...no sex, u will get over him...sex complicates things
2007-06-09 02:29:32 · answer #6 · answered by beerdrinker3423 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what he did to u was horrible. and sure you can forgive him. he seems to be trying to make his life work and move on. you need to do the same too. even if it means being alone for a bit as you start to make your own fiends. you need to do that. its greta that you want your son to have a dad, but "dad" is getting a new life so you and your son need to be a bit moe independent. i know how hard that is to do, but you will thanks yourself later. good luck
2007-06-09 02:28:17 · answer #7 · answered by Sassafraz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best thing is to move on and find a single faithful man, I know you can find someone
2007-06-09 03:40:30 · answer #8 · answered by kitty 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Meet new people... One of his friends might be your new beau. You never know...
And being alone sucks anyways. Sooner or later you'll have to open up (not in a sexual sense) or risk insanity.
2007-06-09 02:28:42 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hon, he has moved on. YOU need to do it too.
This is part of growing up. You need to stand on your own.
NO way is a man going to rescue you.
Find different friends.
If you can be around him........fine, if not, find people you mix well with
2007-06-09 02:32:38 · answer #10 · answered by clcalifornia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋