If you're adopted, do you think it's a good idea to go looking?

Answer 1

It depends on you but don't get your hopes up, because what kind of parents give up their kids.

Answer 2

I think this is a question only you can answer for yourself, you do have to take in your feelings, your adopted parents feelings and the birth parents feelings.
I know that sometimes I person needs to find answers, I was upset to see some of the answers a few people gave you, just because a person gave their child up for adoption does not make them a bad person. I'm not saying that every adoptive child will be welcomed with open arms, but it could be a very good thing too.
I see a person that gave their child up as someone who made a choice for their child. Considering how many people choose to get an abortion, a parent that gave their child up for adoption still gave that child the chance to live a life and with loving parents that choose to adopt and love you. You are blessed and don't let anyone else tell you different. Please take your time in this matter and follow your heart, it is your decision and you will be the one living with whatever you find out there. God bless

Answer 3

I believe it first depends on the parents you have, not the biological, but those who cared for you. See how it is they feel about it. Yes, it is your life and your biological parents, but you must also realize that you were taken care of by other people who have feelings too.
If you want to look for them, just know that you may not be recieved with open arms. You open yourself up to a lot of pain and hurt, possibly. You also could potentially have an amazing relationship. It all truly depends on the nature of your birth parents, which you cannot possibly know without having been told. It is truly a gamble, but only you can know if it what you truly want. And if you truly want it, nothing should hold you back.
Just ask yourself why it is that you want to meet them. Is it to get questions answered? Is it for a relationship? Had you never been told you were adopted and if you never found out, there would not be such a void or need for questions and answers. Take that also into consideration. I wish you the best of luck.

Answer 4

King Midas and that other person is a piece of .....never mind, ain't worth my effort.

OP, everyone who's adopted wants to know something about who and where they came from. They want to know the how's, why's, etc. It's totally natural. There's something that compels us to want to know this stuff. How much and what you find out is a different story.

I think you do need to take into consideration your parents and their feelings. Most understand the need that you have. And most will do what it takes or give their 'blessing' so that you can satisfy this curiosity.

If you find the info that you want, be prepared to try to understand the circumstances. A lot of kids are adopted under less than optimal circumstances, you could be one of them. You have to be able to put yourself in your birth parents shoes, understand where they were coming from and the state of mind they were in when it all went down.

I was lucky in that aspect. I didn't agree with it, but I understand how and what happened with my birth mother. Did I ever meet her or go find anything more?--No. I had sufficient information to satisfy why it happened. I'm cool with that. I've known for decades now, I'm good in my own skin.

Answer 5

I am adopted and I totally understand the urge to want to know about where you come from. This is a question that only you can answer. First, why are you wanting to look? Are you just genuinely curious? Are you hoping to find something you don't have/are missing in your current family (my brother went thru that)? Are you looking for medical/biological reasons? The only way to proceed is with the best of intentions but no expectations. Don't go looking for wealthy family members who are this crazy fantasy of perfection.

Also, be sensitive to the feelings of your biological family. If you know your original birth name, send an anonymous letter announcing "a matter concerning (your birth name)....if you would like to learn more, please reply" or send a letter offering more information regarding an event that occurred on (your birthdate). Do not contact your biological family saying "I'm your long lost son/daughter...HI MOM/DAD!" You will be catching your biological family off guard. You cannot burden them with such a traumatic reunion not knowing the circumstances that led to your adoption. Please respect them and just extend an invitation to learn more about you. If they are willing, they will reply.

Answer 6

Yes. Everyone wants to know where they come from whether it's good or bad, but don't hurt the parents that raised you they are your true parents. If you should find them don't be like the average person and be mad, talk to them and find out why they gave you and tell them what they did for you turned out to be good, because you were raised by good people an you don't hate them. You can't hate people that you don't know. If they don't want to communicate with then leave them alone and move on with your life you have parents that love no matter what. Let your parents know what you are doing before you go looking for them so it won't be a surprised they may have information already for you if ou choose to. Hope you find the answers your looking for good luck.

Answer 7

If i found out i was adopted then i would just stick with the parents that raised me. i dont want to sound mean but chances are they just didn't want to be bothered with a kid.

Answer 8

if you feel like you have the need to meet your biological parents then maybe you should consider it. if they requested not to have contact however, it may just be way too hard for them...not because they dont/didnt love you, but because you werent a part of their lives.
best of luck!!
:)

Answer 9

No you grew up with your adopted family they care about you. Your real Family just gave you away don't meet them.

Answer 10

Go looking 4 what?