My sister's (she's 25) boyfriend (he's 28) sexually abused me last year (I'm 19), and now there getting married. I told her right after it happened and she told me she would break up with him, well that obviously hasn't happened. She asked me to go to their wedding, should I go or not?
2007-06-08 16:15:20 · 13 answers · asked by Darkchild_SliverSunPickupsFan 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I didn't go to the police, because for one I didn't want to tell anyone after it happened, my parents found out only after I wrote one of my closet friends, and then I had to explain what happened. They had been drinking, and I was babysitting my niece and nephews when they came home, my sister passed out leaving me with him. After it happened I walked home, wearing flips flops. It was four in the morning, I felt at fault for some reason and refused to tell anyone.
2007-06-08 16:26:07 · update #1
She knows what you think of this guy. So no point in telling her again or making a point by not going to the wedding.
If she asks, you can say that you have not changed your opinion but you love her.
Your sister is storing up trouble for herself in the future. This guy is bad news. I don't know why women think that they can change a man. "He will be different when we are married!" Well he won't. If you love your sister, you will go to the wedding, and keep the lines of communication open. Keep your distance from him for self preservation but be sure that she knows that you love her and are there as her friend.
She is going to need it.
2007-06-08 16:22:30 · answer #1 · answered by Goddess of Laundry 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should have reported the sexual abuse as soon as it occurred and had a police report against him on the record. This would have eliminated the possibility of your sister or her boyfriend thinking that you would keep this matter quiet forever. If you still feel used and abused, you should begin getting some personal counseling and get out of the way of their relationship. Are your parents aware of the fact that your sister is marrying an abuser and that she abetted him in his sexual abuse of her own sister? You need support from someone as soon as you can get it and your sister also has a serious issue about her own conduct and her choice in a mate. NO. I do not think you should go to the wedding. This "secret" should be exposed before it goes any further.
Get help. Your feelings and your safety are important, even if family ties are at stake. Best wishes to you.
2007-06-08 23:24:49 · answer #2 · answered by Jess4rsake 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why didn't you report him at the time?
Regardless, I wouldn't go to the wedding. By attending the wedding you are essentially giving them your blessing. That is a union that should NOT be blessed. He did it once, who's to say he won't do it again. Stay far, far away.
2007-06-08 23:24:17 · answer #3 · answered by Island*Chica 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's sad that your sister is still going to marry this jerk. I think whether you go is totally up to you and if you think you can handle it. I think it would be nice to be there for your sister, but don't force yourself to go if you aren't ready to have to be around him. It's terrible what he did to you and I don't know how your sister can trust him enough to marry him. Oh well, none of my business. Just do what you feel is best for yourself.
2007-06-08 23:22:02 · answer #4 · answered by vanhammer 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldnt go. He did something that he cant take back. Your sister should have left him, Blood is thicker than water. He is a pedofile. What if he has done this to others? What if they have children... Dont go and support what they are doing.. she obviously didnt support you.
2007-06-08 23:22:26 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't go! If she can marry the dude that sexually abuse you what type of respect does she have for you and herself. Did she ever confronted him about it. What was her reaction after you told her.
2007-06-09 00:02:32 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm questioning why you didn't go straight to the police or your parents, not just your sister, when something happened.
Tell your parents, get them involved...you don't want him in your famly do you??????
2007-06-08 23:20:58 · answer #7 · answered by allrightythen 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
HELL NO. that's an awful and tough situation. but your sister's judgement is terrible. i know being in love is strong, but sexually abused her sister??????
don't go. he doesn't deserve your attendance, and i don't know what you and your sister have been through together, but it doesn't sound like she deserves it either. she's willing to stand up for, protect, and love someone who did something UNFORGIVABLE to her little sister.
that the main word: unforgivable
2007-06-08 23:20:12 · answer #8 · answered by Claire 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Skip the wedding and go to the police. HAve the bastard arrested.
2007-06-08 23:18:19 · answer #9 · answered by Yogi 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
definetly not!! if she doesn't respect u and howu feel y should u do the same!! show her that u were serious maybe she'll relize!! just don't show, but don't tell her ur not goin either!!
2007-06-08 23:19:44 · answer #10 · answered by <3 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋