My toddler is out of control. She is mean when she doesnt get her way and throws severe tantrums. Help!!!!!!!

Question

My ex and I have joint custody of our children. My 2 1/2 year old is the only one we have problems with. The other two children are handling it well. We both have decided to have the same rules, same bedtime, ect......nothing has changed exept for we both are living in different houses.
My toddler is throwing extreme fits. She always wants her way, I have never spoiled her myself. She is angry. Bites, pulls hair n screams just to get her way or attention. She will do things outright rotten, like sneak in the bathroom n dump out the shampoo for attention. This week she has also refused nap time, which I feel she needs.
I know this is the time for the terrible two's. But this is just enough. Neither of my older two children are this bad.
Anyone who has had experience, and made it through can you give me some advice or words of wisdom. I am at wits end here.

Answer 1

it sounds like a combination of age and acting out. My son is going to be 3 and he is throwing explosive fits as well. We generally walk away when he starts them because you dont want to feed into it. As far as the bathroom goes, put a handle lock on the door (you can buy them almost anywhere). If she is potty trained, then that makes her have to ask you to go to the washroom. Perhaps take her to a park to release the excess energy and to spend time with her. Speak to your ex about what he does with her at home. What kind of disipline he is using. Kids at that age thrive on consistancy and routine. Like i said try talking to your ex about what goes on over there. If he gets defensive explain that its for the betterment of your daughter to know that way its not such a big change from mom's to dad's.

Answer 2

My son is 2 and a half as well, and you described him perfectly (he has some problems though). Even though you and your ex are sticking to the same rules, she's not dumb. She sees the changes. She's only 2.5, she's not doing anything rotten, she's still just a baby. Your other children are handling it well because they're older. Play with her a little more, ignore the tantrums, and don't put the vacuum or mop away, you'll need it frequently. Don't clean her messes alone, encourage her (in a nice way) to help you. Since you know she's looking for attention, give it to her, but in the positive way. Don't reinforce the negative behaviors. You'll get through it.

PS. When she dumps the shampoo in the toilet instead of the floor, don't worry, the bubbles will go away in a few hours!

Answer 3

Low blood sugar could cause it but sometimes a child has something that makes their brain go tick, and when it does it triggers tantrums. She might also have a disorder of some sort, but I don't think that's the case. Can I ask does she remember taking the tantrum because it could mean that she has something wrong. Don't be alarmed though unless it presists a lot. If the tantrums persist see a pediatrician, they can help and answer problems like this.

Answer 4

Been there! My girl did not take her father and I's separation well either. You just have to be firm, and make sure that she knows that it is ABSOLUTELY unacceptable to be behaving like that. You also might want to have time with the three of you together (not always easy, I know) but sometimes that can make a big difference to her. These kind of situations are very stressful to little kids. Eventually, the nap times will catch up with her, and she'll sleep half a day, then be ok. Stick in there! I know it's a tough battle. But, you can get through it!

Answer 5

my son is 2 1/2....when he was 18 months he started acting like what u described.... what i started doing when he throws fits, is to tell him that i dont want to hear or see him throw a fit so if he doesnt stop then im putting him in a different room, if he doesnt stop then i put him in a different room...i dont shut the door or anything, if he doesnt come out by himself in a few minutes i'll go in there and ask him if hes done....that has been the only thing that has helped him....

Answer 6

Sounds like she is trying to get attention & is doing it in the only way she knows how. Have you tried talking with her doctor? He might have some advice on what to do.

Answer 7

Could be dietary, medical, or emotional. You need to get some professional help with this, not ask folks on Yahoo. It could be something simple, like your ex is feeding her caffeinated, sugary drinks, but it could be something serious as well. Even a professional is going to have to talk to her, examine her, etc., before giving you a helpful answer.

Answer 8

Mine never carried on like that. Maybe she's just hyper, maybe? Talk to your doctor, seriously, catch this while she's this young, many things can be corrected when this young. If you don't, wait until she's 17 honey!!!! Contact the doctor, and a smack on the bottom is not child abuse either. Gain control while she's young Mom!!

Answer 9

u need to toughen up b a strict parent, punish her when she don't listen and she can't refuse nap make her go to sleep ok this sounds harsh but u gotta do it.
take away toys,snacks and watching of tv when she don't listen. make sure she knows who is the boss
and if you still can't control your kid then call suppernanny

Answer 10

ok one the terible 2's are just a exuse that parents use, never say 'oh there jus tint eh terrible 2's". one i righly recomend on watching a super nanny tape, and takes some notes. one dont give in to her tantrums, they just want atention, and dont give it to them! Make sure they know who is the boss, and have punishments that you stick with. If you say your going to do somthing if they dont behave stick with it and dont back up. Start stiffinging up and show your kd who is the boss!!!!