My girlfriend has no money for herself because it all goes for her bills that she has, how do i get her to allow me to help her with the bills so she has more money for herself? we don't live together right now but we have been together for a year and a half now and i have given her a promise ring to let her know that i am serious about our relationship, but she refuses to let me help take care of some of her monthly bills. what can i do, i have tried to talk to her but she says and insists that she will be fine
2007-06-08 11:56:07 · 19 answers · asked by ffpdfirefighter2002 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
thanks for the answers up to this point, but to clarify some things that have come up, i am NOT a violent person and would NEVER hit her! also, we are catholics so that poses the issue of moving in together (can't happen until we are married)
2007-06-08 12:07:12 · update #1
Oh my gosh! there's not enough great guys like you in the world! Your girldfriend is very blessed to have you in her life!
first of all, she's really trying to build her independence, so she doesn't want to accept charity from you, which is understandable, if you look @ it from her perspective.
however, if you two are as serious & as close as it sounds, she needs to be able to come to you when she needs help. Try taking her out to dinner (you pay of course) or out for a "fun day", your treat. that way, she gets some fun time with you, but it wont feel like charity. You might also try bringing her lunch to her work or asking to meet her for lunch, where you could pick up the check. By ding this, you're feeding her, without her even realizing that she's saving money.
Another great idea would be to grocery shop for a nive evening in, where you make her a nice dinner in her house, but if you pick up a couple extra things to stick in her fridge or cabinet without her even noticing.
you could also write a check to the cable company or electric company for a small portion of the bill, small enough that she won't notice, but enough to help her out a bit.
If she's getting by alright and has enough food & money to make ends meet, a little hardship might be good for her to experience, to help her become more independent. If this is the case, it will mean alot to her if you just take her out now & then, maybe a fabulous brunch on the weekend, a midweek lunch or a romantic dinner at home made by you! These small actions can mean more to her than your financial help.
Once again, your girlfriend is very lucky to have you in her life, and she probably knows this, another reason why she wouldn't want to corrupt your relationship with finances.
:o) I really hope I could give you some useful advice, have a fabulous weekend!
2007-06-08 12:17:04 · answer #1 · answered by *Chika* 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She needs to feel that she is taking care of herself. the is important for her to have a sense of self confidence. If the two of you end up together she will be a better mate for having had this time of independence.
IF you want to help don't help with the bills but help with the little incidentals that make her feel special. If she has a hobby you can get her small gifts that help the two of you do it together. If you know what favorite foods are - offer to cook for her at her place and then leave the extras. This way she is still feeling like she is independent and taking care of herself but you can help make her life more rewarding.
2007-06-08 19:04:47 · answer #2 · answered by keezy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is very generous of you and elegant. I think I am like your girlfriend though in that I like independence. Let her take care of herself for now if this is what she needs to do. If the situation becomes really bad, then open the conversation again. At least, she is getting the message you are here for her. good luck to both of you
2007-06-08 19:00:19 · answer #3 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your girlfriend has enough money to pay for bills, food, clothes and important stuff like that, then you should just let her handle it on her own. But if you think that she really needs help then sit down with her and tell her that you're worried about her. I think that your girlfriend is just being modest because she doesn't want you to think that she only wants your money and she doesn't want you to leave her. Tell her that you don't mind(if you really don't). Don't worry, it'll all work out.
2007-06-08 19:09:33 · answer #4 · answered by Cooℓ Smιℓεys :D 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Then let her be, while always keeping that door open. If she really needs it, she will ask, knowing that you will do it.
Also, you could bring her things that she can't buy for herslef - take notice of what she uses around the house, like soaps or body wash, spices for cooking, things for her hair, etc.
Would she refuse a gift?
2007-06-08 19:00:00 · answer #5 · answered by SpiritRoaming 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her you want to loan her the money so that she can consolidate her debt. This way she won't pay so much in interest. Tell her until things are better for her she can pay you 20$ every 2 weeks. It isn't wrong for her to no want help. She is probably independant and feels it is her mess.
2007-06-08 19:00:55 · answer #6 · answered by Crazy_Fool 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you can't, it might cause a serious gap in your relationship, just leave her alone but make sure to let her know that if she ever does need help, she can ask you, that will make her feel more comfortable and when she's ready she'll ask.
2007-06-08 18:59:36 · answer #7 · answered by Unknown Artist~ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
IF YOUR SERIOUS AND WANT WHATS BEST FOR HER WHY DONT YOU TRY MOVING IN TOGETHER AND THEN THE BILLS WILL PARTIALLY BE YOUR RESPONSIBILITY ANY WAY
2007-06-08 19:00:30 · answer #8 · answered by the wife in a lot of drama 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe bills are not the issue....maybe she wants independence.....talk to her friends and family.....
2007-06-08 18:59:25 · answer #9 · answered by superbird 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave the money on her table or something, she will take it trust me.
2007-06-08 18:58:32 · answer #10 · answered by Heaven L 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋