My 8 year old son is overweight and being picked on?

Question

I have let my son go to a summer rec program and there are kids there from kindergarten to age 15. The older kids are picking on my son and calling him fat. I will admit that he is overweight and we are working on it, but the teenagers are not helping by doing this. I want to punch the teens, but as we all know that won't help. My son can't fight them either. How can I help him to stand up for himself without getting in a fight or worse and how can I help him to get past hte stupid insecurities these kids are giving him?

Answer 1

The being picked on issue is a social problem you have very little control over. There are always some people who are going to be jerks. I hate to say it, but learning how to cope with that itself is a part of growing up. Fortunately, that's the harshest piece of advice I have to offer.

In regards to his looks, people have a tendency to grow into their own features with time. If you could have seen me when I was a teen, you'd hardly recognize me now. I looked very awkward. But there's another aspect to that: People make themselves ugly by overindulging. Smoking too much. Tanning too much. Even those poor "big-hair" girls from the 80's who used too much hairspray and now they are going bald. Teach your son that excess makes you ugly and you're going to be teaching him more than a beauty fad.

Finally, at age 8 kids have started to learn about the concept of health. You can sit down with him and say "do you think you're healthy or do you think you could be a little healthier or a lot healthier?" It's an approach that would work. Then talk about ways to get healthier. Cooking is always a great place to start because it works on so many levels. It teaches good health habits, it teaches math skills, and what girl isn't going to be impressed by a man who knows how to tickle her tastebuds (when you let him start dating, anyway!) Good luck!

Answer 2

If it were just his peers, I would suggest positive reinforcement at home and letting him learn to deal with it there, because kids are kids and if he showed up tomorrow at the perfect weight, they'd probably find something else to tease him for. If you can emphasize his GOOD points, let him try new things and roll with what he's got a knack for, and help him find things to feel proud of, that should help. In this case, these are older kids and he does need to be protected from the harassment. Is there a counselor or group leader at the rec program that you can talk to? Someone who is there all day who can keep an eye on the situation and that he feels comfortable going to when he's being bullied? Look, he's not doomed - learning how to deal with jerks now will help him later in life. It hurts now, but he'll be fine!

Answer 3

I suggest letting him know that what other people say should not bother him(easier said than done), and that some children are just not nice, they are the kind of kids that will find fault with anything.

When I was that age my mother used to tell me(I had teeth that stuck out) that I could change the way I looked on the outside, but te children the teased me couldn't change the fact that they were ignorant. They way she put it "You can change the way you look, but they will always be an idiot." Always made me feel better.

He needs to ignore the other children and should just walk away. I suggest that he says nothing to them. Kids bully for a reaction and when they do not get one its not as satisfying.

In the mean time I suggest talking with a doctor and seeing what you can do to bring the weight to the proper level. Obesity does not come from nothing, somewhere he is eating the wrong food/not exercising enough. As someone else said Martian arts is great for confidence building, as the child progresses at their own pace and is encouraged by other students. I do not suggest this for a way of teaching him to fight back, as that is not what the martial arts are for.

Answer 4

My son has been taught that when you are bullied the best thing to do is to say "whatever" in a really bored voice and walk away. If the older kids are not getting a reaction they want they will turn to someone else. You also need to bring this to the people in charge so they know there is bullying going on. Just let your son know that you love him and he is a great kid. Get him to focus on all the good things he does in the day

Answer 5

well, the first thing would be to say "son, sometimes kids can be cruel, now you are little overweight but that doesnt give the kids the right to pick on you because your different. Most likely to have insecurities themselves maybe not so obvious as a weight problem but everyone has some problems that they must deal with. Now lets work together on this on and lose some weight." give him encouragement and help him lose the weight. All no offence but this weight problem is probably more your fault then his. Meaning dont let him eat all the junk food and start cooking him so healthy meals.

Answer 6

I have a ten year old daughter who is very overweight with high blood pressure and who is always being teased at school as well, as a parent it is very hard to not get involved in their quarrels with their friends or peers, but what you can do is always talk to him and let him vent out to you, about his day and how what the kids say make him feel, and you keep encouraging him by saying wow your so handsome and man your smart and dress him up in some cool clothes so he can feel good about himself and make sure your family does the same and remind him that what they say is their opinion only, everyone was not ment to look the same. when they call him fat again tell him to tell them yes I may be overweight so what but I am someone special and I will be someone great one day what about you. GOOD LUCK!

Answer 7

Keep pumping him with positives and let him know that no matter what someone looks like we are all different. We always tell our kids that walking away is the best option but it's not always something you can do. If someone were to make a comment like that to one of mine I probably would feel the same way as well. Have you child use comments like "Thanks God seems to like me the way I am so that's all that matters. or What a snappy remark looks like I got the better deal" These comments show a sense of self confidence at the same time they are standing up for themselves without hopefully provoking.

Answer 8

Tell your son that he just has to ignore. You can aslo tell your son to tell the kids that are tattling on him to stop and if they don't notify someone such as parents of who is doing this. Try to make them afraid.Work on playing outside more and making up fitness schedules like Monday: 75 crunches and 50 push ups. That may help him to lose weight and to become less made fun of.

Answer 9

All he can do is keep exercising and eating right, maybe if he loses some weight he will prove them wrong by showing them he could do it.

My step son is a bit chubby also, but he just doesnt care. He doesnt live with us so we have little control on what he eats and does. But we try when he does visit.

The best thing you can do is keep your cool, and show him you love him no matter what.

Answer 10

of course his older brother needs extra nutrients than him so purely cut back back somewhat and additionally supply him much less coca cola it fairly is obviously no longer good for him. you additionally can take him swimming extra in many circumstances so as that he gets an probability to artwork off what he eats. If attainable give up him from ingesting in McDonalds lots that quantity of energy in it fairly is outrageous. yet i'm advantageous quicker or later if he feels he has grow to be obese he could concentration on it himself.