For people who don't want children.....?

Question

This is for men and women. Have you decided that you do not children? If so, on what did you base your decision?

I am in my mid 30's and have never had any interest in children. People tell me I'll change my mind, but I just don't see it happening at this point.

I have heard the argument that children are "future generations" and that the Bible tells us to be fruitful and multiply, but I would like to hear something new. Perhaps you feel society places too much importance on children, or it is a financial decision?

Answer 1

Although we love children, me and my husband decided not to have any. We are 27 and 28 respectively, we both have very busy lives, and the lifestyle we have chosen can be very hard on children for a number of reasons.

We work as humanitarians, and we never know where our next mission will be. South America, Africa, Asia...who knows? We don't want to be tied anywhere (school, friends...) and would like that they could be close to the family (which in our case would be very hard, since we are always travelling), but our children can't pay the price for a life they did not chose.

About those arguments, the future is certain, wheter you have a child or not. As for the Bible instructions, the Earth is pretty much full of people alredy. When God said that, our planet had just a few people.

Being a parent is something really special. It is for the great respect that I have for it that I decided not to be one.

You just have to be careful (and this goes for me, as well) not to regret this decision when it is too late.

Answer 2

I think it's a brilliant question and an honest one. I have an 8 month old baby boy and adore him. BUT i am very much like you...never felt the need and felt the pressure of family and had him....I regretted changing my life this drastically for few months. I am now very bonded with him and he's a cutie, but i still do miss my former life. I was carefree and independent. Babies DO CHANGE EVERYTHING. So be very careful. Dont get under pressure. We have decided not to have more because we honestly find it way too hard.

The thing my husband and I are happy about is that when we do get old, we'll have something to bring us more joy and look towards a future. It's a very long term happiness. Right now we're struggling for being back to normal.

If you dont feel the desire, I dont think you should have any.
I think what we all need is ONE PASSION in life. For some it's children. For you it could be something else.

Answer 3

I've always dreamed as a child of having children of my own, but lately, after thinking about this long and hard, and I've been having a change of heart.

It's not that I have serious issues with spanking and child abuse -- that's a whole different question. But I've lived with cerebral palsy since birth, and I'm not all that finely tuned, athletic and strong. I can't run as fast or for as long as other people without losing my breath quickly. And I can only do so much heavy lifting before I get tired or risk hurting myself. God forbid, I were to pick my 40-pound 6-year-old and lift him up in the air, there I were to hear this crick - "Uh, honey, I think my back just gave out!" I'd have to put my kid down quickly, trying not to drop him accidently.

Also, you trying telling your young child that you can't really give him/her a horseyback ride because your shoulders and upper back might not be limber enough, and it could cause problems as a result.

So it's for this major reason that I decided it's not in my best interest to have children of my own, really. I would, however, love to adopt a 9-10 year old, or be a stepfather.

Answer 4

Being a parent or having children is the biggest decision of your life! It changes every aspect of your life and is a life time deal. Children are a gift, after all you were one once too. If you deciede not to have children its ok, you'll probably live longer
because it can be stressful having children..So that might help you think about it. Good luck!!
just read the post below and I credit you with the decision you've made. And I'm sorry you had such a childhood. Good luck to you and god bless you!

Answer 5

Whether you want children only depends on 1 person.... YOU. You may find the right person( if you havent already) and may wish to have children but you may also not wish to have children. No future generation stuff or multipying stuff from me. Just cause you dont want to multipy doesnt mean the rest of world isnt multiplying. You just do waht you are happy with better not having a child then having a unwanted child because society told yuo you had to have one. Dont get me wrong i am the mother of 2 beautiful children. but thats what works for me. Its not everyones cup of tea!!! LOL

Answer 6

I have 2 children and wouldn't trade them for anything. My brother, on the other hand has none and wants none. He loves to spend time with my kids, but he just has too much of his own stuff he wants to do to take on the responsibility of children. He and his wife are now in their 40's and are not regretting their decision. I don't think everyone needs to have or should have children. There are plenty of people out there being fruitful and multiplying, if you don't want them, don't have them.

Answer 7

I'm almost 40 and my biological clock must be stuck or something coz i still dont have any desire to have kids. maybe it's a decision I'll regret later on, who knows but right now the idea of having to be responsible for someone else's life really scares me! I mean if the child turns out to be a monster it'll be my fault right! Plus the pressure of providing everything the child may need freaks me out too.

I have nieces and nephews and I'm not particularly drawn to them. Maybe I just don't connect with younger people but it's something personal and if I don't need to have kids, why bother? I guess if you really want kids then have kids and if you don't then don't! But do it responsibly!!! I do not approve of abortion but that's an entirely different issue!

Answer 8

I don't want kids. As a women there's only so many year I have to have them safely and be able to take care of them. Those years are now (I'm 21) when I am trying to get my life started. The choice is drop everything and search for a good man or take care of myself? Hmmm, I am single and part of the working force and childless. It used to bother me, but I like being independent now. Wouldn't have it another way. Besides, there's always adoption.

Hope that helps
Beth

Answer 9

Okay, this is an easy one..... Ask yourself.... All those people who are telling you to have kids, are they going to support them for you emotionally, physically and spiritually? (no) So, then really, who cares what anyone other than you think. I have two kids 8 and 6, my boyfriend has 2 kids twins nonetheless 10. All we talk about is what we want to do once they all move out! Don't get me wrong I love them all but, it is a full time job with no vacations. If you don't want them, then don't have any. There are enough people in this world anyway. Live your life for you! hope I helped

Answer 10

Children deserve parents who want to be parents, who are ready & willing to throw themselves into the responsibility & have fun with it.

If you don't want to do this, don't have children. You are to be commended for making such an intelligent decision for your life.

It's possible that you may change your mind. Don't get so entrenched in your stance against children that you close yourself off to that possibility in the future, if you ever do feel you're called to do this with your life. It can be an awesome, amazing experience, if you let it be!