Mature answers please...while filling out our marriage license application, I ran into a "small" problem...

Question

on "number of this marriage" I don't know what to put. You see, when I was (17) I was married for (3) months before the marriage was annulled. My father was very abusive so my mother signed for me to get married so I could "get out of the house". The problem is I have never told my fiance about it. It was something I was very embarrassed by and have spent my life "forgetting" about it. No one knows about it but my immediate family. My children don't know, my best friend doesn't know, etc. etc. When we met we did the whole "getting to know you question and answer session" but you don't tell everything about yourself right away. He had a child that died at birth that I never knew about until I found some old baby clothes in the attic. I want my marriage to be legal so if I lie about it on the marriage license will anyone ever find out or will it matter? I don't know what to do but it's really messing me up inside. I never meant to lie but it was like it never really happened

I didn't not tell him on purpose. I honestly never even thought about it until I was completing the application. I guess now I am afraid he will think I'm not trust worthy or have issues trusting me. I don't know how this happened but how do I tell him now???

Answer 1

You are getting lots of sound advice here today. But I think I would call the court house/marriage license dept where you filed for your new marriage license and ask them how much it matters. Explain to the clerk what you told us. You don't have to give out your name, so it can't hurt to find out about the legalities.

But, you also need to talk with your new man and if he's any kind of good man, he won't care that much anyway. The here and now it what matters. And it still can stay between just you and him. Good luck!

Answer 2

An annullment "undoes" a marraige that actually should have never existed in the first place. So in the eyes of the law you were never legally married the first time. You should put -0- on the marriage license application. But you should consider telling your fiance about the previous "marriage". A marriage should be based on trust and honesty and the chances of it coming out in the future are very high. I have been married for 27 years and we are always truthful with each other. That is what makes a strong relationship. Good luck to you.

Answer 3

"I guess now I am afraid he will think I'm not trust worthy or have issues trusting me. "

The sad thing is. You both have trust issue's. You both are not keeping honest.

If you are too afraid to tell your spouse and he is too afraid to tell you things, hasn't it occured to you both that you two are not to get ready if not trust in eachother that you can tell him about your life (that it did happen!) and him to you???

You both are going into marriage with a "doom" stamp on your heads.

If you both want your marriage to work out, how about releasing these "secrets".

They will come out eventually.

You can't run nor hide from your past. You did what you did and understandably, it was a mistake. But, your soon to be husband hopefully isn't. but this marriage won't last long if you two do not take it seriously.

Yes, you have to have all legalized and that is part of it.

You check the box that states you are a divorce and you need to present the papers of the marriage being annualed.

Looks like you and him need a major heart to heart, sit down, talk it all out by laying all the secrets out on the table before you two even step in the court house to get the license.

Answer 4

As some of the others have stated, if it was annulled then it was declared invalid and therefore does not constitute a legal marriage. So I don't think you would need to state on the application that you were ever married.

If or when you tell your future husband about it is another matter altogether. That part you will just have to decide on for yourself. Best of luck.

Answer 5

I know you would rather your fiance not find out about your past, but this Is a legal document so if you want your wedding to be legal you have to be truthful. even annulments still count. The best thing to do is sit down with your fiance and be honest with him. It would be better for you if the truth came out now than later. Sorry to be so blunt. Good luck honey. Hope everything works out for you. If you still aren't sure you should contact someone at your local courthouse, lawyer or clerk and ask this question, it would probably be best to get advice from a professional. Sorry

Answer 6

If I were you, I would call the place that's issuing you the marriage license and ask them if an annulled marriage counts, and if you need to indicate it on your license application. If they say it doesn't count - problem solved, just forget the whole thing. If they tell you that you need to list it on the application, just talk to your fiancé and explain the situation; there's nothing to be ashamed of, and you can ask him to please keep this information private. I don't see anything here that could cause a problem, unless it is against his core beliefs to marry someone who had been married before and you knew about it going in.

Answer 7

I would check with a lawyer, or your clerk of court, because if the first marraige was annulled, then I think that means it was erased as if it never was.
But either way, you really should tell your fiance. And tell him the whole story, not just that you were married once. This is a real test of whether you should marry this guy or not. If he truly loves you, he'll understand the hell you were going through, and why your mom and you decided to handle it the way you did. If not, if he gets jealous over the method you used to get out of an abusive situation, then frankly, he's not the right one. After all, if someone loves you, they want you out of a bad spot no matter what it takes (short of murder, of course, or hurting someone else).

Answer 8

Believe me, I know it's going to be difficult, but you really should tell him. You have to be honest on those questionnaires, or it'll come out in the end. At this point, you can control the damage; don't let it take on a life of its own and get worse. I'm sure he'd rather you tell him now than to find out later on. It's perfectly understandable that you want to keep the past hidden in the dark, but I promise you'll feel a huge weight lifted off you when all is said and done. Remember this, above all else-you did nothing wrong. You were young and in a bad situation. You're only human.

Good luck.

Answer 9

The court does check and if it comes out, they will tell you both, let him know of the situation and be honest. It's better you tell him at home rather than him find out at the marriage license office. You have to provide proof in most states the marriage was annulled or a divorce took place.

Answer 10

You will not be lying because the marriage was annulled therefore it is the same as if it never existed. I dont agree with deceiving your fiance, but then again he was not honest about the child he had before. Only you can decide whether to tell him or not, but putting first marriage on the license is the truth because the other one is now invalid. Congrats on your marriage.