My god son's mother is way behind on her rent. The normal rent is $680 but she has had to pay $720 for over a year because she is always late on paying. She told me that she is over $2000 behind in all of her bills and that her gas is cut off because its summer and she couldn't afford to pay it.
She has to pay her May's rent (yes May) today which she is still $95 short on or else it will go into collections.
She calls me and tell me all of this because she feels that I should give her the money. She actually had to audacity to say that I need to GIVE her the money so that she can be back on track. Who does she think I am and why should I have to be responsible for her?
She has a 6 year old and a baby on the way. Why bring a newborn into this madness?? She doesn't get support from the fathers and doesn't want to file for any. I have bought food and assisted financially in the past but not anymore. Am I wrong?? I have my own bills to worry about.
2007-06-08 06:06:20 · 15 answers · asked by Cheryl J 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
no you are not wrong. I have a 7 year old and a baby on the way. The dad is gone with no child support as well.. .but I pay my own bills and would never ask for help!!! Never. I don't even take government assistance.. a little thing called pride and self sufficency. We do well because I do well.
2007-06-08 06:12:27 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you're wrong, but I feel for you. I know it would be hard for me to not try to give her money just by thinking about her kids, who don't deserve this.
But this woman is taking advantage of you.
There are at least a few things she needs to know. First, it is beyond presumptuous to ask you to help. It's unthinkable that she called you to TELL you to help.
Second, she should not have the choice to decide not to file for child support. The only people who "need to" be providing for her and her kids are her, and the childrens' fathers. It is not the job of friends, godparents, grandparents, etc. to financially cover her and financially provide for her kids. They did not choose to have unprotected sex, and did not choose to keep the children.
If I were you, I would determine (privately) what extent you will help. I personally don't think you need to help HER at all. From what I can tell, she's irresponsible and selfish. And maybe a little insane.
If it were me, I don't think I could let my godchild go hungry, or not get medical care or clothing he needs. I would talk to her, and tell her "You know, I've tried to be helpful in the past, and you've taken advantage of my affection for my godson. I want you to know from this point on that I will not allow him to suffer, but I will NOT help you. If he is not able to eat, call me, and I will provide him with meals, but not you. Basically, if you physically cannot take care of him or provide for him, tell me, and I will help him. The invitation is not extended to you. When you're kicked out of your home because you didn't pay the bills, call me and your son will have a place to stay. You can sleep under a bridge for all I care."
It's harsh, but you know, sometimes it's necessary. It's also something my dad told me several years ago. He meant it. I got my act together, and it's no longer a problem now, but five years ago, I was that irresponsible. It took knowing I didn't have someone to bail me out to make me change.
If financially, you just can't provide those things for your godson, that's fine. You can accomplish the same thing by calling children's services, telling them what the situation is, and asking that someone get involved to protect this kid from his mother's irresponsibility.
2007-06-08 13:41:25 · answer #2 · answered by CrazyChick 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You will be her "baby's daddy" if you help her out anymore. She will call you for everything. You are not wrong at all by saying no. Someone needs to knock some sense into her. Broke as hell yet having another child.. Don't let me get started cuz people like her drive me nuts! What kind of god parent can she be if something were to happen to you?? I would avoid her period! lol! Good luck! ;) I guess I should have payed attention.. You are his god mother..DUH!
2007-06-08 15:02:47 · answer #3 · answered by ~Kim~ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO more financial help for her. That is exactly the reason I DON'T give my godson's mother any money. I'll buy clothes for him, even send toddler food to him, but aside from that, it's her job. She chose not to file against his father and she has to live with those consequences. Tell her to quit asking for your financial assistance, you aren't a bank, and to start filing papers for child support.
Also, if she isn't on welfare, WIC or foodstamps, she's an idiot.
2007-06-08 14:04:50 · answer #4 · answered by Harley 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your not wrong at all, you have it straight. If you are concerned about the kids call child services. There is no reason not to go for child support, and asking you for money isnt part of the whole godparent thing. That is not your responsibility, so stand your ground and take care of those kids if you can. ~ Sheky ~
2007-06-08 13:13:26 · answer #5 · answered by sheky r 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow that has to be a terrible position for the both of you to be in
does she not qualify for any help??.....i don't know where you guys live but i could not imagine paying $680 for monthly rent for myself and child unless i was making GREAT money
my mortgage doesn't even cost that per month
has she tried a cheaper place to live?
has she tried utility assistance?.....local community action center
has she tried food stamps?
has she tried temporary cash assistance?
there are MANY outlets for help......you cannot continue to bail her out and right you have your sh it to take care of!
if you really want to help her then do a bit of research on your county's/state/city financial aid and give a list of phone numbers and addresses where she can go
2007-06-08 13:16:28 · answer #6 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whoa, wait a sec. As a childs Godmother, your responsibility is that child, not her and her crap. I know that my daughter's godmother would help her, and me, but thats because we're both her goddaughters! Even still, Im sure if I did something like this, she would tell me to figure it out, and only help my daughter.
You arent wrong at all. I would give her some info on where she can go for help, and thats it.
2007-06-08 13:12:40 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pffft... I wouldnt give her one red cent. You dont need to give her anything. If she cant be responsible for her own bills ect... thats her problem. There are a ton of programs out there including assistance to pay your rent... energy assistance programs she just needs to get off her a@# and get the help.
2007-06-08 13:12:33 · answer #8 · answered by Indiana Raven 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You are not wrong; she is nuts. A godmother's responsibility is to the child and no one else.
If your friend really needs help, tell her to go to the state's welfare office and get help. You did all you can do.
2007-06-08 13:31:48 · answer #9 · answered by karma 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
some people have no business having kids!! and popping out another, and another, if they don't have the finances. It's unfortunate but that's what the real world is like. She has no right to demand from you. She should be grateful that you have been there for her
2007-06-08 13:22:07 · answer #10 · answered by myneighborisanass2 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋