My fiance broke it all off recently... my friends say it is because he is going away to the marines... but why would he lie to me and talk about marriage and tell me if he loved me if he would just end up breaking it off? I know at the point we were at, we had arguments, but nothing serious... i dont understand what i did, if anything, to make him change his mind??
2007-06-08 05:20:13 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
He broke up with you for a reason (definitely)...
But only you can find out the answer to this question.
Maybe he heard something about you...
Maybe he was never serious and just lied to you...
Maybe he met someone else...
Maybe he's not ready for the commitment...
Maybe it's because he really loves you and doesn't want you to be committed to him while he's at war coz he fears death or injury... (plz underline this reason!!!)
Maybe, maybe, maybe...
It's not necessarily that he let go because he has something against you - it might as well be that it's because he loves you so much.
Did you try to ask him about why he broke up with you?
Try to talk to him...
Tell him: All I need is to understand, I'm not going to hold anything against you, put please help me understand so that I can let go without thinking about the matter all the time.
If he tells you that it's really bcoz of war - tell him about your unconditional love to him and that you are fully aware of the risks of war yet you want to hold on to him and be a part of his life forever regardless of what happens to him.
If it's bcoz of anther reason, it's better that it happened now and not later on in your life after years of marriage, so don't feel so bad about the matter.
But what you need to do now is just talk to him.
2007-06-08 05:31:31 · answer #1 · answered by ✿Purple✿ 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
WOW! That smarts!
But better now than chained to someone who didn't want to be with you.
I'll believe you - that you didn't do anything to warrant this kind of exit - and there will probably never be a logical explanation for this.
All you can do is accept the fact that he left - period. No looking back.
Take some time to heal. Be by yourself for a while - and look at life in a new way. Maybe you can go back to school or transfer to a new division at work. Think outside your comfort zone and try something new - learn to make sushi or something like that.
And some day, when you've healed and are successful on your own - by yourself - this guy will come back and try to apologize to you. Accept that too - as graciously as you can.
This will take time, darling, but you will get through this.
What a rotten thing to do.
2007-06-08 12:33:20 · answer #2 · answered by Barbara B 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It really stinks. But he did you a favor. You may never know why he did it, but it is better before you got married than after. Your friends do not know either, they are only guessing. Don't put any stock in what they say.
No, it was not anything you did, said, or anything he found out about you. The 2 of you were not right for each other, proof being he behaved this way. There are a million things it could be, but just rejoice that it went no further than it did. Trust me.
2007-06-08 13:15:52 · answer #3 · answered by danashelchan 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
BS"D
You know, you gotta think about this....what kind of a guy breaks an engagement without proper communication. Is this an example of how he would perform as a husband? likely so.
what sensitivity is he showing? not nearly enough.
think of what a blessing this might really be in actual fact.
woe! i say you are the luckiest girl alive.
that was a close call.
2007-06-08 12:31:06 · answer #4 · answered by mhc 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Joining the Marines is a HUGE decision. Maybe he isn't ready to marry you just yet because he doesn't know who he is. Give him until after boot camp before you give him the permanent boot. Maybe he will mature, or find himself by then.
2007-06-08 13:06:22 · answer #5 · answered by Andi 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe because he fears that the war will take a toll on him and so if he came back, he didn't want to be a burden to you. He wants you to live normally with a guy that will be better suited [physically] to protect you and be by your side. =) He doesn't want to give you a hard time taking care of him and his wounds for the rest of your life.
2007-06-08 12:29:03 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋