I've got LOW SELF-ESTEEM! What are some ways to gain confidence and love myself again?

Question

I let so many stupid things and stupid people get to me. The reason why I've got low self-esteem is because when I was in high school, there were these guys who called me ugly all the time, even on my very first day there! They made me feel awful! And ever since then, my self-esteem has really been low. I don't know how to raise it up again, so I won't be so vulnerable. What can I do to love myself and feel good about myself and have more pride and self-esteem?

Answer 1

First you quit looking in the mirror and finding your flaws. You find what you like about yourself (eyes, nose, etc.....) and you make sure you concentrate on that. Every person is unique.

Next set small attainable goals. Nothing too hard. Just like I will drink more water or I will finish that book. When you do it treat it like you climbed a mountain!!

Then find out something you are really good at. Lets say you are good at playing the piano. Volunteer your time at a senior citizen home to play the piano, or give underpriveleged kids lessons. This will validate yourself.

Then I would do something that I have always wanted to do,but have been too busy or scared to do. Like taking a class or taking up a sport. It is always good to challenge yourself.

Another thing that helps is to do things by yourself that you would normally do with others. Like going to the movies by yourself, go out to dinner by yourself, or go to a festival by yourself. You have to be ok with yourself to have confidence.

Answer 2

Having a big butt is a complement!!!! Men love big butts!!! Anyways, A size 12 when you are only 5'3 is large...you have a BMI of 26.6 when these are the guidelines: Underweight = <18.5 Normal weight = 18.5-24.9 Overweight = 25-29.9 Obesity = BMI of 30 or greater So, it might be smart to start eating healthier and do healthy excerise 30 minutes a day in the morning for the new year...it will help you have a better body image (not to mention improve your skin and body). You will be able to handle anger better, don't smoke if you do, and the better you feel, the more confidene and self-esteem you will have!

Answer 3

Hey Lady :-) First of all, DONT listen to ppl who say those horrible things...........ever. Just because someone says it doesnt make it so. You cant place your own validation as a person in anybody else. It must come from within yourself. No one knows you better than you. Remember that. I mean, ppl say Im ugly all the time and so what? That just tells me how ignorant they are and therefore, I dont need them in my life anyway. If ppl cant take you as you are, you don't need em, PERIOD. For every person who's evil to you like that there are at least two more out there just waiting to love you just as you are. If you have a husband/boyfriend or kids, just remember they need you. If you can't do it for you, do it for them. First thing, wear make up and dress nice every single day, whether you're going anywhere or not. Every time U look in a mirror, say something nice about yourself. "Hey I look great" or "Im a good person". Just as you tend to believe ppl when they tell you the same things over and over again, you'll eventually start to believe the things you tell yourself. I suffer from full blown depression and have for years so Im not just blowin smoke when I tell you these things.

Answer 4

It is a lot easier said than done but you have to force yourself to call yourself beautiful in the mirror even if you don;t mean it at first just keep doing it. Another thing you need to realize is that everyone is completely different and you must never compare. By this I mean never compare yourself to other women...because you are original....there is no one on this earth that is the same as you....you need to cherish that and love who you are in and out.

Realize that everything you hate about your body now...you will die to have when you are older and gravity takes its toll. Wear a bikini as long as you can! lol

Some thing s you can do: dare yourself to do things you don't normally do...set small goals...and when you accomplish them you will feel more confident. But most of all....learn to love yourself because it is only when you love yourself that you can love someone else....and remember people can sense fear and sense when others are not confident...you dont have to be a supermodel but if you have confidence people feel that and love that and will admire you.

Answer 5

im in the same group as you are too!
i feel like im fat sometimes and cant seem to feel comfortable in what i wear, for me that is low self esteem, sometimes i wish i can be more beautiful, i think what you both need to do is to concentrate on the positive side, like realize that we are beautiful, buy new clothes that make you feel beautiful too, i dont know just concentrate on the fact that we are beautiful, we may feel this way, but the other people dont think we are ugly anymore

Answer 6

Self-esteem is gradually increased by a series of successes. It's a gradual process, and It does not necessarily need to involve your looks. Any successes in your life will serve the purpose. It's a slow process which is not achieved quickly. Set goals and achieve them, one after another.

Answer 7

Read page 2 at http://www.ezy-build.net. (.net.nz/~shaneris) and then go to the self esteem websites.

Answer 8

the best way is that u have faith in yourself and stand everyday in front of mirror and say that i am beautyfull beauty is not only ur body or face it is about what qualities u have if u benefit from my idea pl mail me at [e-mail]

Answer 9

You need to do something out side of yourself, something bigger than yourself, something better than the others expect of you. You need to do something outside of school or work, where you are a benefit to others and are useful to someone in need.
I suggest volunteering at your local church group or daycare center. Do you like small children? Small children give back just as much love as they receive without hesitation and without prejudice. They compliment you just by wanting to be the only one in the group who holds your hand!
You also need to do something interesting outside of school that you can do that they don't. For me it was camping, fishing, and bodyboarding at the beach, so when the pretty girls wore earrings and makeup to the beach and posed prettily on their towels on the sand, I blasted right by them and hit the waves running. While they hung out at the mall, I was swimming in a clear mountain pool formed by waterfalls and some giant granite boulders surrounded by pine trees and birds. While they dated jerks, got pregnant and dumped by those jeks, I was hanging out with my church youth and young adult group waiting for the right guy to come along. When I did find the right guy, I recognized him right away. While those people who were mean to me in high school are living lives of misery, I am happy with one guy who loves me for who I am regardless of my looks.
There was a lot of pain at the rejection along the way, but my insulation was knowing I was a better person inside by not being like them. I am still not a hottie, but I know exactly who my friends really are. I still know how to catch, clean and cook a fish. I still have fun driving a pickup truck and singing 70's pop at the top of my voice. I still love skiing and snowboarding and skating. I still go swimming in those mountain pools! I haven't seen 'those people' in twenty years, and I don't miss them. I am too busy going boating and fishing on the weekends with my loving husband, helping out my friends with finding things they need for free, walking my dogs in the neighborhood and stopping to chat with neighbors along the way, picking up pennies, nickels, and dimes, for my daughter's piggy bank (and future high school expenses) picking up recycling for gas money, helping my husband's aunt, and just plain being busy.
Bottom line, get busy yourself. Make new friends, meet new people. Walk the dogs and pet the cats at the animal shelter on a regular basis if you are not allergic. Find a job, sew your own quilt for your own bed, plant a garden of flowers and watch them bloom. Do something so you don't need to rely on 'those people' for your self -esteem any more - you will find it in being busy and helping others whose needs are greater than yours.
Trust me. It takes time, but it's how I pulled myself out of depression twice.


P.S. You might want to note all of the responses you are getting to your question. You are not alone, and perfect strangers care about you.

Answer 10

Tell your self that you are doing the best and that you tried your hardest