My fiance's grandmother said she will not be attending our wedding if I get a wedding band. She is from east coast, old money, and says its classless for men to wear wedding bands. Has anyone ever heard of this?
2007-06-08 03:34:18 · 23 answers · asked by Sierra Whiskey 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
When did they let her out of the home?
East Coast, old money, DAR myself.
2007-06-08 03:38:47 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your fiance's grandmother is classless. You're supposed to be wearing your wedding band, it shows that you are taken and for others to back off. And anyway since when does the grandmother's opinion matter? If she doesn't come to your wedding, that's her choice. Wear the wedding band, your fiance will appreciate it.
2007-06-08 05:49:09 · answer #2 · answered by thefirstrunner 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am not an east-coast, old-money old lady but I too think it is classy to wear a wedding ring. Some blue-collar men do not wear a wedding ring (especially to work) for logistical reasons. Wearing a wedding ring shows that I am a paper pusher. I rarely take mine off, only to work in the yard or something similar.
2007-06-08 04:10:18 · answer #3 · answered by Adoptive Father 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like an excuse to me. What business of hers is it what you wear? And as a reason for not coming to the wedding it ranks right up there with 'You are making a horrible mistake'. Not very nice, imo.
Typically, 20 or 30 years ago (in Australia), it was mainly catholic men who wore wedding bands, and protestants often did not do so ... but nowadays that is out the window and it's a matter of personal taste.
For myself, I find it a charming custom ... To me, it says 'I love someone', and I can't think of any reason that would be classless.
In my experience, rich people from 'old money' tend to be pretty domineering, if you let them. If gran doesn't want to come to the wedding for this petty reason, so be it, that is her choice.
Visit her after the honeymoon and very politely get to know her, while sending a clear although unstated message that the way you live your lives is NOT subject to her dictates!
I'm sure your gf love her old gran, but if you let people tell you how to live your lives, it is unlikely to stop with wedding rings.
Best of luck with this :-)
2007-06-08 03:54:56 · answer #4 · answered by thing55000 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I find it classless that someone would try to determine what you do at your own wedding, and for the years there after. I have never heard of anyone finding it classless for a man to wear his wedding band. I guess I always thought(silly me) that when you are married, you want people to know it.
2007-06-08 03:38:09 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
Never heard of this in my life...I would say it would be CLASSY to wear a wedding band. It shows your commitment to your wife. Even if that is the way she is viewing things, you are your own person and should do what YOU feel is the right thing to do. If she is threatening to not come to your wedding b/c of something like that then maybe you should just let her be stubborn...in my opinion it's a pretty wrong and hurtful thing to do/say to someone. Best wishes! :)
2007-06-08 03:45:15 · answer #6 · answered by Keekla 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im from the UK where we're class obsessed and I have never heard anyone suggest male wedding bands are related to a certain class.
I'd get Granny to use some of that old money to buy more meds if I were you. At least you can invite someone else to take her place that actually wants to be there. Her loss.
2007-06-08 03:45:13 · answer #7 · answered by planetmatt 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's the blue hair dye, it does something funny to the brain. I see it a lot in the older population. Here's the truth: it's only classless NOT to wear your wedding band if you're married.
2007-06-08 03:47:39 · answer #8 · answered by john s 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you'll have one less person at your wedding. I have never heard of such a thing. A ring is a symbol of the vows you took and to refuse you come to your own granddaughter's wedding because of something so simple as a wedding band is absurd. Don't start a precedent by letting her think she can control anything. This is your wedding and she will deal with it.
2007-06-08 03:43:47 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
No, not at all! My husband wouldn't go anywhere without his. It's a sign that he's taken "don't hit on me". My father was happily married (until he passed on) but didn't wear his ring, but that was because of his job. It wasn't because of classiness, just safety. I have never heard of it being bad to wear a wedding ring. That's just symbolic of marriage.
You should wear a wedding band if you so desire. Hopefully your fiancee is in agreement. Gran can sit at home and you can send her pics. Good luck, man, and congrats.
2007-06-08 06:56:50 · answer #10 · answered by chefgrille 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
umm tell your fiance's grandmother that she is a pretentious snob .. tell her that what matters most is NOT whether you wear a wedding ring or not ... or whether it truly is considered a classless act ... BUT tell her that what REALLY MATTERS is that you are promising to love and protect her grandaughter and then ask her if she considers that to be a classless act ...
AND then add that it matters not how much money anybody has or whether it's new money or old money .. but it still can't buy decency!
2007-06-08 04:04:11 · answer #11 · answered by ll_jenny_ll here AND I'M BAC 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋