Here's the deal. I've been seeing this guy for a few months, and this weekend I invited him to come down to my place to spend the weekend. He's been saying for a while that he wasn't sure if he'd be able to since he's hard at work, but there was a good chance he'd be able to. Well, today is the day that he'd be coming down if he is and he still hasn't given me a clear answer. All I'm asking is for a "yes," a "no," or a "I still don't know." All he seems to want to tell me is "I can't give a yes to anything right now." I'm not asking for a yes, I'm asking for an answer! He's leaving me in limbo as I'm wondering what the heck he's going to do, but I get the feeling that if I ask again he'll get grumpy again. I like him a bunch, but he's confusing!!! (and they say women are the confusing ones...ha!). Would you ask again and demand enough respect to at least get an answer, or just say screw it and let it go?
2007-06-08 02:59:35 · 41 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
One more thing... I'm not the only person he dates, and he's not the only person I date. We're both single and dating... I'm not looking for a commitment, I'm looking for a commitment in regards to what he heck he's going to do. I'm not going to ask again, I'm just confused because he's acting so flaky. I'm really straight and to the point, and I need to realize that not everyone is like that.
2007-06-08 03:05:43 · update #1
And I have a plan B. I just don't know if I can commit to it yet because if he comes he's coming from four hours away. I'm between a rock and a hard place. :(
2007-06-08 03:07:33 · update #2
And we've spent several weekends together since we live four hours apart. We never spend the entire weekend together (he lives at the beach, and I'll often come in and spend the entire afternoon at the beach while he's doing something else... like work...ha) though...
2007-06-08 03:10:49 · update #3
Jeez, I'm adding so many details. We've already slept together, and we've already discussed the fact that we're just dating and not serious. I know this. This would be driving me just as nuts if I had asked anything that justified a yes or a no or a I don't know and he wouldn't answer me.
2007-06-08 03:13:31 · update #4
Ha, one more detail. I've asked him what he's doing maybe three or four times in the last three or four weeks. I'm not begging him or nagging him.
2007-06-08 03:20:11 · update #5
demand an answer. something else may be wrong
2007-06-08 03:02:12 · answer #1 · answered by tochau 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well it seems like ur obssessed with this guy if u r begging him 4 an answer. I can see why he says he's not sure yet. Anything can happen so sometimes it's not always good 2 plan for things before hand. But in this situation I take it as though he has a girlfriend and doesn't wanna be bothered right now. So leave him alone. When girls continue to nag a guy for someting he's doesn't want to give her(n ur case a "yes or "no") he's giving u the sign that ur getting on his nerves and he just wants some space. So try giving him some time to think about it before you call him back. Let him him call u don't keep callin him. When he's ready he'll answer trust me. N if he calls after he was suppose to come don't answer the phone.Let him learn his lesson...never wait till the last minute for anything!!!!!...or you'll end up with nothing:-)
2007-06-08 03:17:21 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It may be that he is really not in the position to give an answer. My job is very demanding and when I get off is not determined till an hour before normal knockoff. I have no idea if his job has similar responsibilities. If it does not, he may be having second thoughts on the relationship. My advise let it be. If he works late and doesn't' come it's not his fault and getting your hopes up would have been wrong. If he doesn't work late and doesn't' come then reevaluate your relationship. He may really want to come but unable to say yes because of job demands. Men for the most part like to have all the facts before making a decision, which could explain the hesitation on the answer.
2007-06-08 03:10:40 · answer #3 · answered by ulragincajunfan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you've only been going out for a few months so a weekend together might be seen by his as "comitment" meaning that your a serious couple, which might scare him away cause many males do lol! But if he just doesn't seem interested don't ask him again if he doesn't want to spend time with you then you need to ask youself if hes worth it? In reality you should only have to ask a question once, not been able to give a straight answer shows hes having doubts....i'd leave it to him and wouldn't ask again! His loss right??
2007-06-08 03:08:33 · answer #4 · answered by Mat 105 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well dont be so demanding... maybe he just isnt intrested in being to serious with you? Some guys unfortunatly never give out clear answers so they wont end up hurting you. Is this relationship stable? Maybe he just doesnt want to sleep with you? Maybe your being clingy and he doesnt want you to get emotionally attached??? sometimes guys see girls as play toys... I say Screw it let it go... dont ask him again and pretend like he isnt the best thing ever. I bet you once you start backing away a bit... he is going to wonder... well what happened and then he'll come chasing after you like a little sick puppy dog. Trust me Men are worse than woman... lol. but anyways... even though you might not agree with what i will tell you... Men wont complete you... There is no such thing as prince charming and guys are going to complete the missing pieces... the only person who has ever completed the missing pieces in my life... was Jesus Christ. He gave me love like none other... and security... Forget about all these boys... turn your focus on the man up above....
Godbless
2007-06-08 03:10:38 · answer #5 · answered by leenystar2003 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If todayis the day and he has not given you a Yes I will be there, I doubt he will. I think he is keeping his options open. I would not give up on him, but I would call him and say no big deal, I just need to know one way or the other, so if you are not coming I can make other plans too.
2007-06-08 03:06:55 · answer #6 · answered by TOMCTOM 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't let him put you in the gray area. You deserve better than that. Treat him like he treats you. If he is being respectful of you - then you be the same, but if he is not allowing you the security of a simple yes or no or at least an explination of why he doesn't know yet - then you don't owe any explinations on why you had fun on your weekend - without him.
2007-06-08 03:19:13 · answer #7 · answered by Challah back Girl... 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One thing I know for sure is men hate being asked the same question over and over again...as frustrating as it is..just wait for him to let you know what the answer is..and if he doesnt give you one by the time you needed one than I would be upset..but if you keep asking him and hes telling you he cant give you an answer right now..all its gonna do is upset him and he'll say your bothering him...but if you just let it go and see how things turn out...you can get upset if he just blows you off or you can be happy cause he was able to come and see you. your right about the whole confusing part..my husband acts like its so hard to give a straight answer when its so simple...and he confuses everything that is easy..just hang in there.
2007-06-08 03:06:47 · answer #8 · answered by luvleebabygurl22 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
What kind of job does he have? That could be a big part of it....maybe he doesn't have an answer to give you.
Besides that I would say screw it and let it go. If you have plans you want to make, make them. If he can then come down tell him that you made plans to do this or that and he is welcome to come but you weren't sure he was coming down and you didn't want to not have anything to do.
It makes you look like you aren't just sitting and waiting and guys usually like a little challenge :)
2007-06-08 03:05:12 · answer #9 · answered by Kim B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think if he can't be considerate enough to give you a clear cut answer, you need to drop it and make other plans. Don't wait around for him, and don't let him come over, since he wasn't respectful enough to give you an answer ahead of time. You don't want him to think you're waiting around for him. Make other plans and if he decides he wants to come over, say "Sorry, but you snooze, you lose!" Maybe next time he won't wait til the last minute and realize that if he wants to hang out with you, he needs to make plans ahead of time or else you'll find something else to do.
2007-06-08 03:03:40 · answer #10 · answered by crabbyone 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I will just say screw it and let it go. In the meantime, I'll make plans to spend the weekend with my own gal friends. Guys tend to take gals for granted when we put aside our free time just for them.
Make him miss you a little and stop asking him for an answer. Very soon, he will be the one who gets worried and then asking you what's wrong etc.
2007-06-08 03:05:30 · answer #11 · answered by Grace 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋