My 15 year old stepson moved in with my husband our daughter and I 18 months ago as he said he hated his mother and didnt want to see her again - she said he had become very difficult. He promised to improve his behaviour and learn to help in house a little and be able top do things for himself (was very molly coddled). Things were okay but recently he has become very close to his mother again (I'm pleased) but now his behaviour has become over time unbearable he shouts swears has no manners and says he hates both myself and husband. I am worried this is effecting my daughter who is 5 as she is trying to copy some of his behaviour. I feel I have lost control of the situation this has not been helped by my husband who has always taken a dim view of my previous firm parenting and sometimes did not support me when I feel we should have been diciplining him. He now recognises that his behaviour is out of order but I think too late.
2007-06-08 02:57:04 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
can you and ur hubby and the mother come together and take him to counseling? like a family counseling session?
maybe theres alot of pain in his life that hes hiding with anger.....
try enrolling him in sports, programs, get him a healthy hobby like putting together models (cars,boats,planes)
let his dad have some 1 on 1 time with him take him to the races, or bowling or something so they can talk... boys need there fathers alot at this age.... for advice and guidance and he may feel uncomfortable talking to his dad infront of u.
hope this helps.
2007-06-08 03:51:16 · answer #1 · answered by Crys 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is not a problem between you and the 15-year-old. This is a problem between you and your husband. You two MUST be on the same page when it comes to discipline and raising your children, or there is nothing you can do about this. You will ultimately have the same sort of problems with your daughter if the child-rearing is not consistent. You two have to sit and work this out. If you can't, take him to marriage counseling. If he won't go, then go yourself. It will make a world of difference and will open your eyes.
All that said, the boy is going through a difficult time. It would be wise to get him into therapy. Family counseling might help you all out, too! Discuss it with your doctor, and they should be able to make some recommendations for you. Good luck!
2007-06-08 10:07:18 · answer #2 · answered by Mr. Taco 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get professional help. Your husband must support you 100% or the son will use him manipulatively.
Ask him why he hates you - teens are often messed up, sometimes saying things they dont mean, sometimes saying things for attention, sometimes saying things to Test you.
Get professional help - first just you and your hubby need to go for help then bring son along too.
THE Problem with hubby is common among divorced parents as neither parent wants to be the "less liked" one so both tend to be slacker parents than parents who are together or were widowed. This is making for a generation of Brats
Talk to your hubby now.. does he see the problem? Disguss appropriate punishments and stick to them - Make sure hubby inforces them too.... heck have him read what everybody is suggesting here.
2007-06-08 10:11:19 · answer #3 · answered by CF_ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like there may be some underlying issues here. Obviously he has anger problems but there is something causing this anger. It could be the divorce of his parents, a new sibling, school whatever. Try and talk to him and maybe refer him to speak with a professional. Most likely he will not like the idea of counseling but maybe you could compromise and have him attempt one or two sessions. Good luck, I'm sure this is quite frustrating.
2007-06-08 10:03:44 · answer #4 · answered by Summer 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sounds like someone needs to take his @ss outside and beat him with a belt, today's youth is in trouble due to the stupid hippies of this country not disciplining there children with an old fashion can of whoop @ss, this time out garbage and i know your just expressing yourself is garbage, look at our country now and look at it 50 years ago back then kids respected there elders and would not get away with anything that they do today, back in the day the whole community raised the kids if you got in trouble and your parents where not around you either got slapped by someone else or they made sure your parents knew and then you got slapped some more, sometimes you got slapped by both...
2007-06-08 10:10:02 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Sit him down with his Father and have a very firm discussion. If he continues to be difficult and refuses to make any changes...send him back to his mother! Otherwise your daughter will continue to pick up his habits and you will have two on your hands to try and handle at once.
2007-06-08 10:04:24 · answer #6 · answered by luv 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He needs to go back to his mothers. You can't allow this sort of behavior to affect your other children (because it will if not already). It's too bad that he has been tossed back and forth like that. He needs some serious counciling. Get him to some before this goes too far.
2007-06-08 10:05:05 · answer #7 · answered by 2Bme 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Send him back to his mothers. Tell him he isnt allowed around because he is a bad influence on HIS sister. That until he straightens his act up, he needs to stay away. That helped wtih my brother. Try taking him to counseling and see what they say. I hope it all works out for you.
2007-06-08 10:03:23 · answer #8 · answered by kim w 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
dont give up on him get him into school sports and go on a vacation all of the family so he could rest and maybe act more apperciative
2007-06-08 10:01:12 · answer #9 · answered by Nadia C 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to take him aside and ask him whats the problem.
2007-06-08 10:06:43 · answer #10 · answered by thresher 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋