Am I PARANOID?

Question

My boyfriend and I live together and he recently started talking about the daughter of one of his co-workers. I have never met her nor has he ever talked about her until recently and it seems like every day he has something else to say about her.
Now he wants to go to a birthday party she is having and how ironic that it's when I have to work. He says he has known her since they were kids and assures me they are nothing more than friends but why do I have this sick feeling about it? Am I just paranoid?

He also wants to take my 2 boys with him.

Answer 1

probably a bit paranoid, but of course you never can tell.
I know myself have a jealous streak that I seem to have no control over and it general is pretty irrational at times, but jealousy is just a part of human nature. Id try my best to wait it our before jumping to any rash conclusions, I mean if they were childhood friends & have just recently reconnected it can be a kind of exciting thing which could explain his talking about her all the time. Id try to give it some time and try to keep myslef in check as per jumping to conclusions, but dotn underestimate him or her & if this little imterest seems to get any bigger Id address if for sure

Answer 2

Fact from fiction, truth from diction. Paranoid? I can't tell. what are some of the facts not known? Has she been away and returned lately? Has he and her ever been b/f and g/f? If she recently came back to the area, it is a childhood friend, she just happen to be a woman. She could bring back good memories of when he was a boy. The kids are there so I am sure he would not openly try anything if they can see. Invite this gal over and see how he reacts. And if she comes over you get to observe 1st hand how they interact. Invite other friends over, if something is up, they might try to use the other guess as foils to steal away for private moments. About, all you can do unless you are going to tail him or hire a pro to do it for you. BUT, there is no ring on either of your finger(I guess for very reason either of you can bolt with out a messy divorce)so there really is NOTHING stopping him from jumping ship. The risk you take having kids with out the sheep skin, and rings.

Answer 3

hmm this is weird. you have a right to be suspicious, but try not to be jealous, that sometimes can get annoying. But, why dont you take a day off to go to the party with him? well at least he wants to take ur boys, that makes it a little better, but you never know. If he talks about her a lot, then you should meet her and see how they act around each other, just in case. sometimes men have friends, but if you guys are already living together, its kind of odd that he would have girl friends. So try to give him space, but you have a right to want to know. I say you meet her and see what all the talk is about and make ur decisions based on that. I'm sure things will work out fine! and its a good sign he cares about his kids!

Answer 4

You are not being paranoid that is your inter wishing telling you to watch out for that other woman because that is what she is.Don't let him fool you into thinking nothing is going on just because he is taking the kids with him.Tell him you are taking off work that day so you can go with him,watch what he does. If your husband gives you a hard time and tells you he won't go then that only means one thing,something is going on ,why else doesn't he want you two to meet.So many of us wives have been where you are right now and like you we didn't want to believe the worse so we let it go until the day came when our husbands told us that they where leaving us for another woman.Don't trust them to be alone and what ever you do go talk to her and see just what she is up to .

Answer 5

You are NOT paranoid. Always, always, always trust your gut. "If you feel something is wrong... something is wrong!"

It does not make sense that he has known her since they were kids, but he only recently started talking about her. There might be a smidgen of "truth" to that since liars and cheaters always include some truth... it may be true that he knew her when they were youngsters... but that was then and this is now.

If they are truly long-time friends, then why haven't you met her or heard of her before? He needs to respect you enough to not go when you're unable to go along... he could plan a get-together for you to meet her... if YOU want to. You can let her come over to your home, on your turf.

Be direct with him. Tell him how you feel. Ever watch Judge Judy? People lie under oath! But, she tells them straight out, "It doesn't make sense, so it's not true!" or "I don't believe you!"

Be strong. Trust yourself. Don't let him, anyone or yourself belittle (or talk you out of) your feelings. Good luck.

Answer 6

Do you love HIM or do you love him being YOUR boy friend? If you really love him then you will want him to be happy. If he thinks he has met someone that would make him happy then good for him. Take in mind that this is all speculation at this point but try to be unattached and concerned about what you really want from life. Do you want a guy that only looks at you? If so then you might want to look at that. It seems to be a sign of dependency. Those type of relationships are often very unstable, and cause alot of heart break.

Answer 7

Trust him. If he has proved a nice man in the past, don't let his friendships make you feel suspicious. It could be nothing. If you feel really weird about it just tell him how you feel. Trust is an important part of any relationship.

Answer 8

Sometimes your "gut" feeling may be the answer.. Unless of course you ARE paranoid. and not to make matters worse.. he is male and thats enough to cause a female to worry. Men are pretty much clueless when it comes to a one woman relationship. Shhhh dont say i said that lol

Answer 9

Just keep a close eye out. Watch to see if any of his other patterns change, such as how often he has to work, how often he has other things to do besides being home, etc...

Answer 10

Well, trust the guy. But keep an eye on his behavior.