I've been seeing this guy for 5 months. We never declared anything specific like we are dating, because
1)I'm not sure if I want in a relationship right now.
2) He doesn't like rigid titles.
Throughout this relationship or whatever it is, I have had several encounters with other guys, making out, sex, flirting...but I don't tell this guy I am seeing about them. In fact, I go out of my way to not tell him. For all he knows we could be exclusive. He has already told me he is not having sex with anyone else.
My problem is when a guy wants to do something with me I have trouble saying no, I like the attention and don't want to hurt the guy's feelings and want him to still be my friend. Today he told me he was happy I didn't mind him looking at porn. If he is concerned about some a tiny thing as that I feel almost certain he will hate me for sleeping with other guys.
ANy advice on what I can do, should I tell him, and if so, how much should I tell?
2007-06-07 20:04:29 · 10 answers · asked by Cruisin'=^_^=Cat 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I don't know if it makes a difference or not, but I have had sex with two different guys.
2007-06-07 20:41:01 · update #1
You'd better learn how to say, "No" ! Do you know that everytime you do things just because you're afraid to say no, I'm not interested, sorry, not interested .... YOU are giving up a chunk of your self-esteem. I'm thinking you were very abused growing up that you are so afraid of hurting people's feelings. You must have somehow gotten the message when you were a kid that your feelings don't matter and they do.
P.S.
I don't think ANY guy is for you right now. I think you need to do some work on being the best you can be before you involve someone else.
Just do it ! YOU ARE worth it. :)
2007-06-07 20:10:34 · answer #1 · answered by Cheech 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Who's to say if you are a "bad" person?
But you are a selfish, indulgent person.
You have sex with a guy because you like the attention and
can't say no? That's kinda pathetic.
Also, you know - be honest, you KNOW - that this guy is thinking of you as his girlfriend, and that he's not sleeping around, and that usually its the guy who is the whore in a relationship, not the chick. You know you are doing something he won't like. You should tell him that you do not feel bound to be monogomous with him, and you knew that he didn't know that by the way he's been acting.
Then stop seeing him. Its wrong for a chick to string along a guy who wants to be exclusive with her. You know where he stands, don't manipulate him so you can have attention.
THAT is what a BAD PERSON does.
.
2007-06-08 03:26:16 · answer #2 · answered by robabard 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"when a guy wants me to do something I have trouble saying no"...hmmm, there are names for girls like that...
first off, get some help with your self esteem from a therapist so you aren't constantly seeking out approval from other men via sex and being used like a cheap "bleep"
Next, if he is being sexually exclusive with you, then you MUST tell him you aren't. For health reasons among other things, that is NOT something in this day and age you lie about. You can contract diseases from kissing, from giving unprotected oral ex...two things I'm sure you probably have been doing...you have no right toput another person at risk from your wrecklessness.
2007-06-08 03:12:00 · answer #3 · answered by allrightythen 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Learn that when a man wants to have sex with you, he does not necessarily even care about you. He is relieving himself. You are being used!! That is a terrible way to get attention. Try just dressing sexy or talking too loud. That should get you some attention. There must be a million better ways to get attention!!!
You are acting like a tramp, and if this man you care about finds out, you will regret it.
2007-06-08 03:10:38 · answer #4 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well its too good to be true ,i think u should tell him because u never know who else will come and tell him himself and this really bad way of yours of sleeping around with guys one should do only with ur bf i dnt know how many guys u have changed but u should stick to one and i think thr is no as such commitment btween u ppl so he cnt blame u for that but i think if u really love him then u would have never even allowed any one else to even touch you sleeping around is a big thing
so gear up and understand life and face reality atleast he will understand u better
2007-06-08 03:15:29 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off no your not a bad person.....if you keep a secret from him....because you think he will get mad.......then right there it tells you that he isnt the guy for you....So don't worry about it and yes of course you should tell him...If he gets mad so what? and dont be affraid to tell him no if he gets mad so what? if you dont like it then you shouldn't have to put up with it.....
2007-06-08 03:09:49 · answer #6 · answered by sportsstarcutie11 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no you don't tell him.. that would be very selfish on your part to tell him all that because you feel guilty... either leave this or be faithful and don't use excuses with yourself either, you can say no to other guys, you just don't want to.. either decide this is what you want or leave it, plain and simple. this is catching up to you, get out of it before you get in to deep...
2007-06-08 03:12:27 · answer #7 · answered by I Heart 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the problem with not telling him is that it will blow up in your face. i am dealing with the very same thing. i would play it safe and tell him, that way there is nothing to hide if it is serious.
2007-06-08 03:10:55 · answer #8 · answered by dana b 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should not tell him anything unless you believe you gave him a disease.
Ask him if he expects to be exclusive.
2007-06-08 03:08:49 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
may be u can bring it out to him. let him know. i think it is very common. u have few relationships b4 like he did. take it slowly
2007-06-08 03:28:00 · answer #10 · answered by Mike P 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋