If we had no expectations, would we still get hurt.?

Question

I am thinking that hope is not a good thing because it causes pain.

Please spare me the sin and bible crap. Use your own words and think for yourself please.

I agree Buddhism is a useful tool to help the world.

Thank you all for your wonderful answers.

Answer 1

Having no expectations limits disappointments in life. Keep that in the back of your mind the next time that you expect something.

Answer 2

I spent most of my life as the "fat girl". I learned over the years to keep my expectations really low, because I thought I was worthless and didn't really deserve to be hopeful, or happy. Now, being older, I keep them low out of necessity. I can't afford much, so I don't wish for things. What's the point? If I can't have it, wishing won't make it happen, nor will hoping. I make my own happiness in little ways. The thing is, hope can trap you in a dream world, rather than force you to go get what you want/need. A little hope is a good thing - too much, and you can lose your mind from waiting for the good things to happen. I know it sounds convoluted, but that's how I feel.

Answer 3

If we have no expectations we have no hope. Those without hope have no light. Hope doesn't always cause pain, sometimes it gives us a reason for taking action, lending a hand where needed, giving to others and enjoying the things around us. The hardest part is not having unreasonable expectations, those not based upon reality. For example, if we have expectations about a person that are contrary to that person's personality and past behavior, we will be disappointed and probably used. Keeping our expectations in line with a person's personality helps keep us anchored in reality.

Answer 4

Life without any sorrow or pain would not be life, it'd be like being high on opium 24/7. Part of what makes us appreciate the good times are the bad times. In spite of all I've been through I still have expectations and maybe I am too optimistic, maybe that's why I hurt sometimes. But I am still going to keep some hope. :)

Answer 5

I think it's all where you put those expectations. When meeting new people, I set the bar low, but keep my eye on the possibility of raising it. This way I'm not putting much reliance on someone I hardly know... but if they prove themselves at little day to day things, I'll gradually start leaning on them more. By the way, I'm not for this attitude of automatically granting ANYONE a certain level of trust: Even family members should have to earn it. (How many have freeloading relatives? Be honest, now.)

Understand, I don't go around hating everyone! It's just that I set my expectations quite low, and allow myself to be pleasantly surprised when they prove to be more than up to that standard.

Getting your hopes up in pretty much anything is... well... foolish.

Answer 6

i can relate to that but let me share my story hahaha sounded kinda selfish my bad =) OK anywaz so all the way up until highschool i was constantly picked on b/c of something so i never believed in myself/ so once i became a freshman made tons of friends i new alot of ppl and alot of ppl new me well my birthday comes around and everyone just said happy birthday nuthin special i got hurt just like you did. but i learned never to expect anything be happy with what you got. cuz i moarned around that day i made myself feel horrible i mean if i would have been like you know what its my b-day i don't need presents i just need my close friends i would have had a good b-day. so i would have to say the disappointment would have to be in us. we expect so much out of other ppl when the problem is with in us.

Answer 7

We have to get used to pain and accept that it is part of the learning and growing process. Remember growing pains in your legs? Remember muscle pain when you workout or climb mountains? Pain can work for us, even the scariest kind. Avoiding pain is avoiding learning and growth. We need to develop audacity, courage, and a bring-it-on attitude to life. I call it spiritual warrioring; living a life of integrity. I don't mean an irresponsible or uncaring attitude, quite the contrary. Although I've hurt like hell in the process, I have never regretted going for what I wanted, being willing to pay the price, confronting my worst nightmares, and facing the pain I cause myself.

Answer 8

Yes. If hope didn't exist, we wouldn't get hurt (emotionally - physically, we can).

HOWEVER

I think hope is the best thing we have. It's the only reason to live and keep trying. I'll take pain for hope. I won't become heartless, cynical, and depressed just because sometimes things don't work out right.

Answer 9

Everyone needs hope in their life! A life without hope is but a shell of a life; and that's truly a waste!

Hope in GOD!!
What's your alternative; live your life in seclusion????

We are meant to be a social people; some more so than others, but no one is an island unto themselves!!

Answer 10

You sound close to believing in Buddhism. Buddhists believe that all suffering is caused by desire, and to eliminate suffering, one must eliminate desire. Hope is just a form of desire. Also, I have an uncle that always says, "Hope is not a method."