How to politely say, nix the dinner and just go for ice cream?

Question

Had a bad date with him (1st). Was so turned off. Void of social skills & wasn't a gentleman. Maybe I was expecting too much. The details... had dinner together & from arriving to the restaurant & placing our order, it took 45m. Dinner & date over! Didn't ask me what I wanted from the menu, he practically inhaled his food, ordered his dessert while I was still eating my dinner & didn't ask what I wanted for dessert, ate his dessert. He's done! He gave me the cherry from his sundae dessert, that was nice I must say. He wants to take me to dinner on my birthday, I said I'll think about it. I know I should feel grateful for a generous gesture but the our first dinner together was a total turn off, except the cherry give away. I like the ice cream thing because I would assume there'll be very little or nil disappoinment social interaction from him. Short date, less agony for me.

Answer 1

If you think he's "salvageable" go for the next date, but kindly mention some of his/your concerns during general conversation. He honestly may not be aware of how he's behaving or how to treat a lady.

If you don't view him as "salvageable" then politely decline any future dates. If he's "just friends" material, keep the outings very general. Movie, car wash anything but a repeat of the 1st date.

Answer 2

Usually, on a first date, men try desperately to make a good impression. They fight down their nasty guy urges (let's not go there) and generally work hard to do the things that you said DIDN'T occur on your date: be a gentleman and not act like a pig.

That said, men also have a difficult time reacting normally when they're nervous. First dates are, typically, nerve-wracking for people.

So, chances are you either were on a date with someone who lost control because they were a nervous wreck -OR- you saw this guy on his best behavior and only have to look forward to him getting more comfortable around you if you continue the relationship (refer to "nasty guy urges" above.)

Good luck! :-)

Answer 3

Either have a talk with him about how he behaved on the previous date, and tell him what you expect when you are on a date. Or tell him no. I would hate to go out with a man like that who has absolutely no manners. Buy your own cherries and let this one go.

Answer 4

Everything you have written is the perfect blueprint not to go out.Frankly,I don't understand why you even want to go out for ice-cream if your previous date was such a disaster( your point of view).You described it as agony.When going out on a date is that painful,it is time to say "nyet".

Answer 5

45 minutes to get your food and nothing to talk about? That sux.

As far as asking what you want, that's the waiter's job, but if this stuff is truly important to you, find someone who does it.

Answer 6

hes a fast eater, i would suggest if you are willing to go on another date, dont go eat, go to a movie, putt putt, something where he doesnt scarff down food. when you talk to him jokingly ask him if he always eats like that to find out, if you cant stand it, what are you going to do not eat with ever?

Answer 7

Put him off because it won't get any better for you. Keep delaying and he'll get the message and go away. It saves you any further hassle.

Answer 8

If you don't want to go out with him, tell him directly what you found offensive on that first date.

If you want to go out, avoid restaurants. Go to a movie instead.

Answer 9

I really don't see the reason to go out with him again. It's a waste of your time and his money.

Answer 10

No, it will only get worse, he sounds very self centered.