Me and my boyfriend are back together after a hard breakup for both of us a year ago. Trust is definently a big issue towards him, for he cannot be trusted easily. We have been together for two years besides this break up and love each other no doubt. How can i learn to trust him again? It seems as though we fight so much now over nothing important at all, i really want the arguign to stop its tearing us apart and ruining things. Neither one of us wants to throw this all again, how can we rebuild this relationship.
Please dont say counceling thats not an option.
2007-06-07 18:17:25 · 22 answers · asked by Michelle 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Look, if you really love one another you have to stop this nonsence. Life is too short to live it arguing. You never really know when its your day or someone elses. Treat everyday like its your last. Youll have to evaluate your relationship and you 2 have a long heart to heart and tell all. Start fresh and forget the past. Move forward from this point on. The first mistake on either part its over (until someone grows up anyway). True love is very deep, if you all have this....you'll make it work somehow. Just figure it out, and let life happen. Go with the flow.
2007-06-07 18:24:32 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay. Whenever you feel that you're arguing over something stupid just end it RIGHT THERE. Do not argue over who left the napkin on the floor or whatever. Sit him down and tell him how important this relationship is to you and how you want to make it work. Trust is an issue? I hope you let him know that and also that it WILL TAKE TIME for him to regain your trust. Over time you;ll learn to trust him again. No one can truly help you with that. I hope it works out.
2007-06-08 01:23:20 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
what you need is a vacation. SERIOUS ! Just get away. Go somewhere where neither one of you can fight over petty things. Bring back the romance. Or just plan a nice date. Also when you feel inclined 2 argue just count down from 10. TAKE A BREATHE and think : is is really so important that we can break up over it. Most likely it isn't. Good Luck.
2007-06-08 01:22:17 · answer #3 · answered by kiki<3 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look, i don't know how to help but picture this as a mountain.
Your goal is to reach the top.
The top is a rebuilt, healthy relationship between you and your boyfriend.
Yeahh, when you climb a mountain, you cant just say "OK! 5 more steps I'm up yay no falls yet.", because eventually there'd be some rock slide or animal chasing you down right? So that's an obstacle. Whatever. Ignore the obstacles, you'll go down a lot the mountain but keep going up we all believe:)
If you want something, you have to get it.
It's not coming torwards you, you have to walk towards it:]
2007-06-08 01:22:16 · answer #4 · answered by Mimí..ツ 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No,
Trust, comunication are the two biggies ... if one or both are damaged .....good luck on fixin' that ..... perhaps you both need time apart so you learn waht your really need in a relationship and can be greatful for what you had & may have in the future .....
take the time apart ...... live, grow, learn ..then see what happens. Too much too soon is a bad thing ... don't rush it!
2007-06-08 01:22:37 · answer #5 · answered by John 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In the first place, why are the 2 of you back togther when you know in your heart you don't trust him? Trust is a very important factor in a relationship.
Yeah, you are right.. I won't ask you to approach councellors but you really need to put on your thinking cap and make up your mind how you going to accept him with your heart telling you that you don't trust him...
God bless...
2007-06-08 01:22:13 · answer #6 · answered by aUDREy TTT 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust has to be earned and this will take time. Congratulations on your new relationship! This is how you will have to treat it. Back to square one and work your way up. When you get back with someone who breached the trust area, this is part of the consequences of getting back together. I for one feel like if the trust isn't there, then a positive relationship will never be..........this is only my opinion.
Best of luck to you both.
2007-06-08 01:21:07 · answer #7 · answered by ? 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
People will give you good advice, no doubt.
What we forget sometimes though, is that people have a built in alarm, that goes off when the trust issue arises.
Some alarms are overly sensitive, and go off for nothing, some go off through misunderstanding, some go off because they are trustworthy and if you know yourself well , and you should, don't go against your better judgement or you will get hurt again.
Some people are just buggers for punishment and will keep on getting hurt although their and other peoples alarms warn them all the time....
2007-06-08 01:43:01 · answer #8 · answered by Featherman 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know how it is to have trust issues. What you need to do is find ways to build up your trust bit by bit. First of all, he needs to be completely honest with you about what he is doing (I know this sounds obsessive, but it really helps to know where he is and who he is with). Second, you need to communicate about your feelings. If there is an incident where you are questioning your trust in him, ask! Overall, trust takes time and you need to be willing to put forth the effort to make this relationship work. Good luck to you both!
2007-06-08 01:20:58 · answer #9 · answered by wenchiepirategirl 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You yourself admit that you both argue over petty matters and that is tearing you both apart. Then why don't you both stop arguing over petty matters. If you both continue, you will ruin your love life and there will not be happiness. If this is happening before marriage, I wonder what will happen after marriage. I would advise that if he is angry, you should keep mum and not respond. When you are angry at something, he should keep silent. This way, you can avoid confrontations.
2007-06-08 01:24:25 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋