Last year, I adopted a soldier. We started communicating and became pretty good friends, but he?

Question

suddenly stopped talking to me after he found out I'd had a baby. He knew I was married, and I guess it's possible that the timing is coincidental, but it really bothers me. I keep writing him anyway, and I've told him that I'll continue to support him until he tells me to get lost. I just don't understand it, and it really hurts my feelings. Any insights?

One more thing: he was married, too.

Answer 1

I did the same thing. I adopted a soldier sent him the things on his wish list with extra to boot and that was the last I heard from him after months of talking. I then took a chance and adopted another soldier. We are still friends to this day. It is hard to say what goes on over there and what these men and woman are going through. He could have been moved to a different location and now no longer has access to the Internet. God Forbid he could be wounded. The situation changes day to day with little or no warning. I didn't hear from my soldier for a few weeks then all of the sudden I got an email with him telling me he was sorry but things had gotten really bad there and he wasn't able to write,. Keep writing and remember they are going through hell right now, so we can't really hold them fully responsible for their lack of compassion. If anyone else would like to adopt a soldier here are some great sites,. soldiersangels.homestead.com/Adopt-A-Soldier.html
www.soldiersangels.org
www.asoldierswishlist.org
www.soldiersforhope.com
www.ndtahq.com
Not only do our troops in Iraq need us but also the wounded here in our vetrans hospitals, They did their part let us do ours. Send a card or a letter, fill a wish, visit a wounded soldier or vet at your local vetrans hospital, Don't just say you support our troops if you arent willing to back it with action.
HAD TO ADD THIS,. For the army wife. It doesnt matter to me if the soldier is married or not if it is a he or a she. You should be thankful that someone cares enough about the sacrifices that someones husband or wife brother or sister, mother or father is making and takes the time to show that they care by writing a letter. Obviously you have issues within your marriage to begin with if you think by someones spouse writing to someone is going to lead to an affair, You say send care packages.
So it is okay for us to spend our money on your spouse just not talk to him. Im sure your husband would be very disappointed in your comments,. Yes I am a military wife, a military sister to two brothers and one sister, and my Father, Grandfather and uncles all served.
One more thing. When you adopt a soldier you don't have the choice of the soldier you get. It is randomly selected from soldiers who have signed up for this service,.
She is not highly upset she is hurt. If you had made friends with someone for over a year and they all the sudden blew you off wouldnt you be curious as to why? As for her soldier it is obvious that he did sign up for a pen pal,. Im glad that your husband gets all the support he needs but remember this. There are a lot of wives that don't support their husbands, and the temptation is too great when they are away. So the husbands ask for a penpal. Someone they can share with to get through the crap that they are going through. Or a soldier asks for a penpal because he doesnt' want to tell his wife about the crap that he is going through. The dead babies, woman, men, The hell that he faces each day. His fears and insecurities. He doesnt want to bring that into his family life, his safe place so he vents to a stranger. My soldier was engaged at the time. We not only welcomed him (i say we because it was both my husband and myself) we also welcomed his fiance. When she had a car accident and no family around it was my husband and myself that sat with her in the hospital and kept our soldier updated since he couldnt be there. When he wanted to get her something for her birthday it was my husband and myself that got it for him. My thinking is this,. If you are in a good stable loving relationship you will not stray whether you are 5 feet or 5 thousand miles away. It doesnt matter. Yes some soldiers cheat, some wives cheat it is human nature. But those that cheat are going to cheat no matter what and a few letters are not going to be the thing that determines it.

Answer 2

I dont think you should write married guys either. Being a military wife is hard too. Specially when your hubby is gone. And i dont think MY husband would be ok with it if i just got me a male pen pal for "support". Cause theres stuff i cant talk about with my hubby either. Or do you really think i would tell HIM that i am scared he might not come home?
Anyways, i also think that his wife found out about it and probably wasnt ok with it

Answer 3

Maybe he thought that you liked him and would divorce your current husband for him, but having a daughter killed the chances.
Sorry it isn´t a good answer, but.. how do you adopt a soldier? I would like to do that.

Answer 4

I am a military wife and this is all I have to say....ADOPT A SINGLE SOLDIER!!! Your "married" soldier has a wife and DOES NOT need someone to 'adopt' him.....he gets all the support he needs from his WIFE. Our husbands have enough temptation being over there for a year at a time and I can tell you right now that I would not be a happy camper if some random women was writing letters to my husband. Sending care packages is one thing, building a personal relationship is a completely different realm. His wife may have found out and had a fit....maybe THATS why he stopped writing to you! Like I said, there are TONS of single soldiers that would love to have a pen pal....leave married ones alone.


D&G....First and for most, there is nothing wrong in my marriage. Second of all, READ the details of the story....she is highly upset about this soldier not writing to her....come on, don't tell me that there aren't some feelings in that. I'm glad you are so secure in yourself and your marriage to allow random women to talk to your husband while he is most vulnerable....but as for me, I AM ENOUGH SUPPORT for my husband. And let me just get THIS out in the open....MY husband has NEVER put his name on ANY list to receive care packages and letters......He always got everything he needed from ME and our family. So no, I don't think that it's alright for you to spend money on him but not speak to him.....I think that if you want to support the troops, you go about it in a respectful manner.....I understand that you don't pick and choose who you send thing too....So, send a care package and a card.....No need to develop a relationship with someone else's husband. And no, my husband would not be "disappointed" in my comments.....He knows its true and he has SEEN it with his own eyes how easily soldiers can stray because of the stress and circumstances they are in.....and he has WAY TOO MUCH respect for me to ever write back and forth with a random women.

~~Thank you Jessy....I though for a half a second that I was going crazy.....but I KNOW for a fact that the Army wives I KNOW would never appreciate some random women writing to their husband. And good for the ones who are alright with it.....to me its THEM who must have problems in their marriage. And if it was MY husband getting letters from some women....you better believe I would have a problem with that. Care packages, cards of support, even a single letter telling them they are appreciated is FINE....but an entire realtionship through letters is just over stepping your bounds. LEAVE MY SOLDIER ALONE.....

Answer 5

Soldiers are just people with all the faults and insecurities of anyone else. Adopt another one.

Answer 6

He might be very busy right now.

Answer 7

Jersey Girl...I APPLAUD YOU!!! Thank you for saying that cause i was just sitting here thinking WTF, did anyone get it...the married soldier doesn't need to be adopted...single soldiers for sure but dont mess with the married ones.

Answer 8

It's obvious that he was looking for something more than a friendship. Let it go.

Answer 9

I think its kind of creapy that you are writting him.

If I has a married millitary spouse and they were getting mail from you, I would have a problem with that.. And your husband I would also have a problem with that..

Sorry...I'm just being honest.. find a new hobby that doesn't involve married people....or someone of the opposite sex when your married... Not cool... sorry

Answer 10

Sounds like he really was fond of you. And that he is mad.