my husband says Im an alcoholic, says if I have another drink I should plan to move out. WTF?

Question

As for the question "how much " do I drink? I drink 3 bottles of wine per week. He is angry at me right now about not showing him enough appreciation, so this is what he throws up at me. He says I am a drunk, and he should tell my family. He thinks they would all agree that I am a drunk. I think his anger is talking. I am a very competent mother with a child going into an honors education program. I am recieving honors in my nursing education program. I am going for my RN now, and I think he is threatened. Maybe he is just a jerk (sorry...that is my anger talking)

PS I am the one who cooks, cleans house, does laundry, cares for our daughter and her education, runs all errands, is the coordinator for the baseball league we are sponsoring, etc. Give me some f'in credit you guys. In addition my mom is dying of cancer which she refuses to treat! i have an A average at school! I am not a typical slacker!!!!

Additionally I don't get mean or abusive. I go days without drinking any alcohol at all, and I don't hide the fact that I am drinking. I don't spend money designated for bills etc on liquor, and I usually have my wine and go to bed.

Answer 1

he might be right in the sense that you drink too much...
three bottles a week just for you is quite a bit.
i understand that you have a lot going on right now and it is fine for you to have a glass or maybe two when you get home from work/school and finish your daily routine before you go to bed.
i think that you need to talk to your husband and find out if this drinking is truly the problem and tell him that you will cut back to a glass or two a day- and then uphold to that.

Good luck!

Answer 2

I don't know if you're an alcoholic or not. But I do know that being a straight A student, doing the all the housework, never being late to work, etc. does NOT mean that you aren't!

I am a recovering alcoholic, almost 9 years since my last drink.

I graduated phi beta kappa from a major university, got my law degree with honors, and worked at a prestigious law firm for several years--all during my drinking years. I also ran the household, cooked the meals, did the laundry and paid the bills. I told myself all the same stuff you are saying, and it was all crap. My drinking was interfering with my life and ruining my marriage but I kept pointing to all my so-called accomplishments to prove that I couldn't possibly have a problem. I didn't quit drinking until I started losing the ability to use my fancy brain. It took a long time, but it finally caught up to me . . . thank God, because it's a whole lot better being sober.

Answer 3

You need to examine your relationship with him more then you need to analyze your drinking problem. 3 bottles a week works out to about 16 glass a week which is just over 2 a day. Most medical studies say 2 glasses of red wine a day are just fine for you ... I think this is an issue of him finding a reason to be unhappy, and you two should seek counseling regarding the issue.

I feel upset for you as a person who's been on the receiving end of this, but I do want to say to everyone that reads this is that this is a classic bait and switch in a relationship. Once upon a time, your partner was ok with doing the things together that you do, but then they change and force you to make a change in your life. Men suffer from it a lot more then women do.

Anyway, leave him. He sounds jealous that you are more successful then he is, or at least working to make yourself better.

Answer 4

I may be out on a limb, but I think you are a "situational alcoholic." That is, you have the stress of school, of a dying mother, and a husband who is un-supportive. That may be why you drink. It doesn't sound like you are drinking too much, but if your tolerance is low, even that amount of wine can make you act drunk. Perhaps you should see a psychologist to help you assess your drinking -- and your marriage.

Answer 5

after finding bottles in my boat, in the closet, in the tool shed, she figured out that I had been lying all those times when she asked me if I was drunk. I promised to quit. I went out and bought a new 75 ft. water hose and filled it with vodka. My wife was tiny in stature and always used the custom 35 ft. hose I made for her. I started doing a lot of "gardening" and had her baffled as to whether I was drinking or not. If you don't have a drinking problem then just stop drinking. If drinking is important enough to you to be willing to give up your marriage, then bottoms up darlin'.

Answer 6

Im an alcoholic... I drink a 3 bottles of vodka a week, at least 12 beers a week, and lotsa other drinks, whatever I feel like drinking... 3 bottles of wine is nothing, tell that to your husband

Answer 7

Well - My EX gf was an alcoholic and still is. I finally had to tell her to move out when I had enough of her drunken behavior, antics. I guess your partner feels the same way with you as I did with my EX. If I were you, I would heed his warning! If you think you can't control yourself in that respect - you might as well start packing. Your husband is quite right.

Answer 8

Three bottles a week are too much , if you are not an alcoholic yet you will soon became one ,and your husband is afraid that you are heading that way . The man cares about you so listen to him.

Answer 9

One of the signs is denial. If you're not an alchie why are you becoming so defensive and agressive towards complete strangers whom you asked for advice/opinions. Maybe you should actually consider all of these meanies answers, including mine and take a look at your life. Sorry.

Answer 10

ok your husband needs to shake his head. three bottles of wine a week is perfectly fine. my granpa was always a great family man and he had a bottle a night. it's only if you depend on the alcohol things get ugly. if you just enjoy the taste and appreciate wine, which your husband obviously doesnt, there is nothing wrong.