I'm truly not going for pity here, but I do need help.
My Mother died in March, and things at home have been more than terrible lately. My sister is never home, and my father comes home.. not himself with other women almost every night. When he is.. "himself" he's a completely different person, but it seems like he's only like that to me, because he and my sister are still close. It seems as if he makes a point to scream at me and blame things on me, and true, I have been messing up a bit, but no more than I did when Mom was alive.
Is it my fault that our family is falling apart? Should I be doing more?
2007-06-07 14:09:14 · 6 answers · asked by Jenna 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Jenna, what more should you be doing? You are all grieving in your own way. You are not responsible for "holding the family together." You are responsible for Jenna. Take care of yourself and talk to a counselor, if you want. You have all been dealt a serious blow. Your father needs to see a counselor for sure, because he cannot be taking out his anger on you.
2007-06-07 14:16:31 · answer #1 · answered by Cloee Quips 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, it isn't your fault. Your family is falling apart because you are all grieving. Sad as it is, this is normal. Your father's women and his anger are the result of his missing your mom. Different people deal with grief differently, which is why he and your sister may be getting along better.
What you need to be doing is finding someone who can provide support for you. It would be nice if your dad could, but he's not able to right now for whatever reason. Talk to your other family members, a teacher or counselor or other trusted adult friend. You need to deal with the loss of your mom, that's your only job.
2007-06-07 21:20:30 · answer #2 · answered by Jenna4 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust me it isn't your fault. Your mom passed on and everyone deals with pain in different ways. If you look like your mom, your dad may not like to think about you because of that, or if you act like her, or talk like her, etc. Your sister isn't home because it reminds her of your mom, it's a place were your mom was most often. You may be in denial about somethings, like being more upset or so on. You might ask your dad if you can talk, as a family. If that doesn't work ask some adult that is close to you AND your family. That is all the advice I can give you. E-mail me if you need more help; rorygilmoregirls@yahoo.com.
Becca
2007-06-07 21:20:31 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What more can you do than be yourself? It is not your fault and you should not take the responsibility for the feelings of others. When people grieve they handle grief differently. Your father is still in the anger phase of grief and he is projecting that on to you. Right now the most important thing that you can do is to take care of yourself and focus on your needs. The others will come around.
Good Luck.
2007-06-07 21:49:29 · answer #4 · answered by DEREK E 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know you don't want pity and I'm so sorries. But I just want to say I'm sorry. Are you the younger or older sibling? If things get really bad you could go to a school counsoler.
I wish i knew what to say. I wish I could end your pain and sorry. I wish I could make things all better for you. I really do. I would like to be your friend. I know someone who wants to be your very best friend too. He's my best friend and he's helped me though deep water many times. His name is Jesus. All you have to do is ask and he'll come into your heart and comfort you. He's always there beside you waiting to hear you and answer you.
2007-06-07 21:16:55 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is definitely not your fault that the family is having trouble. Your father may be having a difficult time dealing with your mother's death and he is reacting in an inappropriate way but that is on him, not you. All you can do, is your best.
2007-06-07 21:16:54 · answer #6 · answered by helen r 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋