My 21 yr old sister has been living with my husband and I, and our 3 children since Jan. (this is her 2nd stint livin with us) We told her prior to allowing her to move in she had to help out. She has a job and her only bill is $101.00 car insur, $40. cell phone and $25. gym membership a month. She doen not pay us a dime, buy anything for the house, or lift a finger. We are getting fed up! How do I approach her to get her to start contributing something like $50. a week or helping with chores.....anything? She should be contributing right? She is a waitress/bartender at a popular steakhouse.
2007-06-07 13:38:05 · 10 answers · asked by melissa p 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Yes. She is working and free loading off you two. She is 21 and if she cant take on the responsibilities of contributing and helping around the house, then she needs to get booted out. You just sit down and tell her, tell her the truth and just what you told us. You have three children and a husband and they have got to come first. Your sister will always be your sister and even though she is your family too,, your new family has to come first.
2007-06-07 13:48:59 · answer #1 · answered by rachie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I had almost the same exact situation. The difference was it was her, her boyfriend, and their infant child. I would let them know how much they owed each month and they would pay me some for the first few months. Then it was once in awhile, then nothing. I talked to them several times, even when she was pregnant with her second child the problem persisted. They continued to not pay for several month and it got very burdonsom for me financially. I let it go for so long because they had an infant and one on the way, I didn't want them to be out on the street. But they finally had to move out because me and my husband were fighting about it. They have never paid me a penny of the large amount of money that they owed for Rent, phone, utilities, etc; I would get it straightened out before the situation gets to heated. It could cause permanent damage between you and your sister, and not to mention you and your spouse, been there done that. I know I will never allow that situation to re occur, just not good!
2007-06-07 20:58:06 · answer #2 · answered by surely y 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Money should never come between family. That said family should not take advantage of each other like she is. Talk to her about helping out.
She knew coming in she was going to have to help out. Several things you can do to get the point across. If she has her one room, open the breaker so she has no electricity. When she asks about it tell her she needs to pay her electric bill. On that note, do not let her eat your food. Tell her she needs to provide her own or help out. If she is using your cable for a TV in her room disconnect it. Do not let her control the TV anywhere else in the house.
2007-06-07 20:53:27 · answer #3 · answered by scotts1870 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your sister has taken advantage of your husband & you, so it's time to give her one more chance to help out all the way around or it's time for her to move out. Both your husband & you need to let your sister know that you two mean business. It's not fair of your sister to expect a free ride in your home any longer. If your sister doesn't want to help out then she knows where the door is. Don't feel bad if she leaves.
2007-06-07 20:54:07 · answer #4 · answered by Shortstuff13 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Definitely talk to her. Even if all she is able to do is help with the chores (if that will satisfy you and your hubby) then let her know that is OK. If, she is unwilling give her a certain date to be out by (say 1 month) and stick to it no matter what she or anyone else says.
2007-06-07 21:06:39 · answer #5 · answered by helen r 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes she should pay up. Why should you feed and house her is all her money is going for her good times. Throw her out into the street and see how well she does. Don't be afraid to do this. She is 21 and that is an adult.
2007-06-07 20:41:20 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do you really want the money or do you want her to move out? You have to let her know either way. She needs to understand that you have your own family to take care of now, so if she's not helping out then she needs to move out. If you started setting strict rules for her and treating her like the child she's acting like she will want to move out.
2007-06-07 20:48:36 · answer #7 · answered by SaraB 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get her to sign a contract stating what you feel is fair rent and tell her that she can either pay you rent or find somewhere else to live and as long as you do it in writing it is a valid agreement if the 2 of you sign it and if she refuses give her an eviction notice
2007-06-07 20:43:41 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
she is your sister. so on one hand id say, money should never come between sisters ever! on the other hand, you can tell her that she needs to help out. that she is your sister, not a guest and she needs to pull her weight around the house. dont mention money- its not about money. she needs to put in effort and do some chores. thats that.
2007-06-07 20:41:55 · answer #9 · answered by orange blossom honey 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Just stright out tell her either she needs to do her share with chores and help with groceries or get out.
2007-06-07 20:42:32 · answer #10 · answered by lovely1avila 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋