My fiance and I are getting married soon and we keep arguing about me helping with the wedding decisions and planning. I don't get it! Other guys are shoved aside during this time, why am I getting the hard part of this? I think she is asking for too much, what do you think?
2007-06-07 13:27:00 · 23 answers · asked by zablue 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Come to find out, everyone else bailed on her--even her mom. She is stressed and has no one to talk to. So she has been begging for help and I basically said screw off without realizing it. Oops.
2007-06-07 17:07:05 · update #1
It sounds like she values your opinion enough to ask you at all! She could simply make all the decisions and drag you along...
Why is that such a bad thing? Do you really want to marry her?
2007-06-07 13:29:05 · answer #1 · answered by Flighty 1 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
you know what? All she wants is your approval for something she has picked out, more than likely. That's exactly all I want from my fiance while I do the actual work. It's his day too, and I want him to like what i've made decisions about. I'm sure your fiance is feeling the same way...and if that's not what it's about, consider the fact that it's A LOT of work to plan a wedding, and if she has a full time job on top of that, give her a break and pitch in a little! It won't kill you, and it'll keep the peace a lot better. Remember, even though society says it's all about the bride, some brides like to have it be all about them as a COUPLE, as it should be.
2007-06-07 13:39:03 · answer #2 · answered by chloe1995 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh, sorry to say, but most women feel that if you don't show any interest in the wedding, you aren't really interested in getting married! I know most guys just feel they don't know enough about party favors and trumpet fanfares to have an opinion. Sometimes, the more you pull away, the more worried she may get that you are not really feeling the love. Honestly just participate even a little more, and I'll bet she will become reassured and less likely to need you on every little decision. good luck!
2007-06-07 14:42:48 · answer #3 · answered by nomysteryhere 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the answer to these questions depends on the kind of life you are wanting to live together. Are you wanting a marriage to be based on mutual decisions and respect? Then, I think this is the best place to start. This is an important day in both of your lives so you should both contribute to the planning and to enjoying the day. Maybe you can determine what things you are interested in and help out there...
My husband took charge of the food; dj; rehearsal dinner; groomsmen stuff; invites, following up on people that didn't RSVP, and thank yous for his side; and a slide show for the reception.
2007-06-07 13:39:29 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kudos to you for wanting to participate in your wedding it is your special day too! My DH and I planned our wedding together and today we run a business together it was a good test of patience and compromise and the day turned out beautifully with everyone having fun and even 15years later people talk about it and we had to do it all on a very tight budget. Stick to your guns and remind her you are getting married to and the wedding is about 2 people becoming 1 not just her having a "princess" moment.
2007-06-07 13:36:54 · answer #5 · answered by Walking on Sunshine 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should be grateful that she is asking for your opinion. A lot of brides plan everything without even considering the groom's opinions. Afterall it is you and your fiancee's wedding, not just her's. Planning a wedding takes a lot and can be very stressful for the bride if she has no help. Be considerate of her and help her out if she is asking. Congrats on the marriage.
2007-06-07 13:43:26 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I too am getting married. I always ask my hubby to be for his input. Its not so much that I really want it, but that I want him to be just as excited as I am in this time. Maybe she's the same way? Some tips to help you "do your duties":
1. Tell her you want to help pick out food and cake stuff. She will be thrilled that YOU want to do something.
2. Help her mail out invitations. If you sit down and take the time to do something with her, she will be pleased.
3. Tell her you want her to feel super special, so whatever she wants, she can get it. She will think its super sweet,. (At least I did).
4. Find a close friend or family member of hers to go out and about with her on these duty days. Don't be afraid to ask for help from someone!
2007-06-07 13:33:00 · answer #7 · answered by Andi 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I think you should both sit down and discuss it calmly. I know this is a stressful time, but you have to do it. If you are fighting about this now and can't come to a compromise that will say alot about the future for you. Any good marriage must have great communication and compromise that will make both of you happy.
2007-06-07 13:40:23 · answer #8 · answered by surely y 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are lucky that you have a fiance that values your opinion and who apparently wants to make sure that the wedding isn't all about her, but rather a reflection of BOTH of your tastes and vision of your special day. Help her with the important things, and when it gets to be too much to handle, tell her kindly that you are a bit overwhelmed and that you trust her judgement.
2007-06-07 13:33:38 · answer #9 · answered by terasa425 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I argue with my fiance over the same things. I dont want to sound rude because I do care what my fiance has to say, but for the most part, I ask him because I just want to know that he cares about the wedding as I do. I know most guys won't care as much as women, but it does make us feel good when you care enough to give your opinion.
2007-06-07 13:32:46 · answer #10 · answered by August Bride 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋